Relational Atmospheres: Is Yours Destructive or Constructive?

I feel that the Lord is teaching me more about relationships…with Him and with each other. One recent epiphany concerns things unsaid, undiscovered, hidden, whether purposefully or unintentionally. When considering relationships among humans or with our Father in Heaven, we typically focus on what is seen or known. We define relationship by what is…by what exists…I will call this a “positive” definition, in that it is fabricated from what is known (proof by its presence). However, a useful exercise as well as potentially the source of better definition, is considering “omission,” in that it is fabricated from what is not known or not present (proof by its absence). We know much of what our relationships with God and each other are supposed to contain. There are many more attributes to consider that I will not list here, but with our Savior, let’s limit our focus to faith, hope, and love…and principally love, since “the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor 13:13).

1 Cor 13:4-7 – “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

In 1 Corinthians 13, we see love fairly well defined by positively present attributes, as well as the absence or omission of other attributes that are therefore the opposite of love.

Positive attributes that define godly love: Patience, kindness, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love as defined by the absence of these attributes: envy, pride, rudeness, self-seeking, provokable, evil thinking, deception.

It’s interesting that equally as many proofs of love by positively present behaviors are highlighted as are proofs via behaviors that are absent. Thus, considering both what healthy relationship SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be is worthwhile.

Therefore today, I would like to issue a word of warning about the unseen in your relationships, for what is unseen is just as important as what is seen. What defines your relationship with our Lord? Is it something He has done for you? Is it something you have done for Him? Is it something that He has not done for you or that you have not done for Him? Or is it perhaps much deeper than that? More importantly, as you stand here today, what is still keeping you from a deeper relationship with your God? Search your heart and see. Likely, it will be something absent as much as anything present.

We are apt to call out sin in our lives as the answer to the question above, “What is still keeping you from a deeper relationship with your God?” We would be correct, for we know that sin is defined as the separation from a Holy God. However, perhaps it is something we are lacking in our relationship with the Lord that is actually leading us into temptation and sin. Perhaps the root of our sin isn’t anything present at all, but is instead something we’re lacking. An illustration to clarify what I am attempting to explore together:

As a chemical engineer, I know that it takes three things to cause an explosion: fuel, oxygen, and a heat source. Furthermore, the fuel and oxygen must be in the right proportions for the heat source to initiate the violent and destructive chemical reaction known as an explosion. In the manufacturing environment, great care is taken to understand the atmospheres where a heat source or potential spark could be present. As long as the fuel/oxygen content is outside the limits for which an explosion is possible, any heat source is manageable. On the other side of things, as long as there is no heat source, then any mixture is manageable. And of course, we seek to control each of these things in the event of an unexpected failure, in order to preserve the least likelihood of an explosion. Even still, industrial accidents happen.

You can relate this analogy to relationships of all kinds. Our natural interaction with others produces an atmosphere of the relationship (fuel and oxygen). Our experiences and wounds also help to produce this atmosphere. I think you’ll agree that there are those in our lives that produce an explosive atmosphere when we are together! Also, there are those that bring safety and security, eliminating explosive atmospheres. Furthermore, as much as we try to make everything smooth and control disturbances to our relationships, life will bring frequent heat sources into our relational atmospheres. This is a guarantee. It is good to avoid striking a match when we have detected an explosive atmosphere. In that situation, if we purposefully light off the explosion, we are responsible. However, there will be many times when something completely external to the relationship lights a match and we are left picking up the pieces. But the final situation that I want to consider is when we hold the match in our hand, either unknowingly, or knowingly but seemingly benignly because we have misestimated the atmosphere of our relationship.

Have you ever walked into a conversation with something new and exciting only to see the conversation immediately deteriorate into a full-blown confrontation (think of close relationships)? What happened? We mis-estimated the atmosphere. If you walk into a normal room with a match, it burns for a couple seconds and goes out. If you walk into a room standing next to an open container of gasoline, you might just get the shock of your life as the vapors ignite. The point is that the atmosphere dictates the outcome of the “match.” Often these “matches” are much more significant in our relationships. Perhaps you just lost your job or are considering a different location that would require your family to move. Perhaps you want to place your children in a different school or activity. Perhaps you’re considering a different church. Perhaps it is holiday planning. Whatever the specific “match,” the atmosphere of your relationships will determine the outcome in that relationship.

All this to say: take a survey of your relational atmospheres. Take a survey of the atmosphere in your relationship with friends, spouses, children. And if you do none of those, be sure to take a survey of your relational atmosphere with your Creator and Father God. When something unexpected comes up, do you find yourself angry with God or have feelings that God is angry with you? The problem is not the unexpected circumstance (the “match"); the problem is the relational atmosphere. What is being unsaid between you and your Father currently? I know that in my experience with human relationships, the unsaid has been the source of more issues than what is said. Communication is your atmospheric detector. Pray to the Lord your God and let the Holy Spirit search you out and convey to you the pitfalls in your current understanding of our perfect God. Let the Holy Spirit respond in your prayers to cultivate the atmosphere of love between you and your Savior. And as the next “match” is lit, you will find yourself and your relationship with God responding in an entirely different manner.

Finally, the things that cause an explosion to be dangerous and undesirable are the same things that have great value when utilized in the way they are designed. For instance, the right combination of the same fuel, oxygen, and heat source leads to heating your home. Furthermore, your vehicle’s engine is powered by many well-controlled “mini-explosions.” Therefore, even the fuel and the oxygen are not the problem, nor the “match,” but the ability to utilize them in a manner that is constructive instead of destructive. Likewise, every current circumstance, every past wound or experience, and every interaction with your Lord and Savior, can be redeemed and be the very thing that propels you forward with our Lord this very day. The critical element is the Holy Spirit within us who call Jesus Christ our Lord. Without Him, these very same circumstances and interactions will serve to destroy our lives and relationships, with our fellow-man and loved ones, as well as God. The Holy Spirit is the difference.

Romans 5:3-5 – “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

You will not be able to control the “matches” that ignite flames in your life. You will not be able to control the relational atmospheres in your life. Try as you might, and as well managed as your life may be at times, you will not be able to control these things. Explosions are coming in your relationships. What certainty do we have that we will even survive them, much less that they would be used for the good of all who are touched by them? Only in the Lord Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit do we have hope…a hope that does not disappoint. I encourage you, whoever you are and whatever state your relationship with our God is in, seek Him today, invite Him to permeate your relationships, and trust Him to do the physically unattainable, and draw you closer to our one, holy, true God. Amen.

Have You Ever Made a Mistake?

Tonight, I opened my Bible and found myself reading about Daniel and the lion's den in Daniel chapter 6. For the first time, it struck me from the king's perspective: One who made a terrible mistake that was about to cost the life of someone he loved and valued. Have you ever been there? Maybe it hasn't cost someone's life or maybe it has, but I'm sure you and I have both made major mistakes that we only recognized after we made them. What is our response in that situation, what is God's response, and what does that say about our Father in Heaven?

Daniel 6:13-16a - "So they answered and said before the king, “That Daniel, who is one of the captives from Judah, does not show due regard for you, O king, or for the decree that you have signed, but makes his petition three times a day.”
14 And the king, when he heard these words, was greatly displeased with himself, and set his heart on Daniel to deliver him; and he labored till the going down of the sun to deliver him. 15 Then these men approached the king, and said to the king, “Know, O king, that it is the law of the Medes and Persians that no decree or statute which the king establishes may be changed.”
16 So the king gave the command, and they brought Daniel and cast him into the den of lions...

The king had been rashly talked into making a decree that no god could be worshiped or prayed to, but only he could be worshiped. This was a terribly prideful mistake. "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Prov 16:18). I know this proverb all too well, not just from memorization, but from living it. Be careful of any decision or portion of a decision that allows pride inside! It will hurt you and quite possibly those you love in the end.

The gist of this portion of the passage is that the king had made a mistake, though he didn't know it yet. When it was revealed that the death of his beloved subordinate Daniel would be the consequence of his mistake, he was deeply moved and sought to reverse it and save him. How much was he troubled by this and how much did he love Daniel? It says in verse 18, "Now the king went to his palace and spent the night fasting; and no musicians were brought before him. Also his sleep went from him." He didn't sleep all night, sought no comfort, and didn't even eat. However, as was the law in that empire, not even the king could change a law that he or any other king had written into law. This might sound a bit rigid, as it allows for no amendment policy; however, this was central to the Mede and Persian empire and their way of life.

Now for the most interesting part. The king was fully aware of his blunder and he felt powerless to do anything. What a sinking feeling in the soul when we realize our error just in time to see the consequences but have no power to avoid them! What deep sorrow when our mistakes, whether prideful or otherwise, begin to hurt deeply our loved ones. What utter hopelessness we feel when we see the train wreck that we have caused proceeding and cannot stop it! We cry out in anguish as this king did, but to what avail?

The most important part of this section is found in the second part of v. 16:

"...But the king spoke, saying to Daniel, “Your God, whom you serve continually, He will deliver you.”

The cry to our Lord. As we read on, Daniel was saved by God sending an angel to "shut the lions' mouths." Even when all hope is lost, there is hope in our God. And if it so pleased our Lord, Daniel would not have been spared and would have served our sovereign God's purpose in his death. But God's purpose was contrary to the foolishness of this prideful king. God's purpose was not finished in Daniel, or in the king for that matter, and through their faith and the power of our sovereign God, Daniel was saved.

The next day the king hastened to the lion's den to see what had become of Daniel. When Daniel was found alive, he was pulled out of the den and prospered even more greatly in the kingdom for God's glory. Additionally, the king then tossed the men who had devised the entire plan, which was set specifically to trap Daniel, into the lion's den where they met their death. And finally, this prideful king was gloriously humbled, proclaiming throughout the kingdom that the God of Israel is the one true God (v. 26-27). Even the king fulfilled God's purpose through the Lord's glorious work to turn what was meant for evil into good.

Have you been tossed into the lion's den and there is no way out? Pray to the Lord to deliver you and strengthen you through the experience, just as Daniel was. The lion's den could be a great work of God after all. Have you stumbled and brought forth a terrible result on yourself or a loved one? Call on the Lord to rescue. And if in His favor and grace, He spares you, do away with all unrighteousness that served to set the trap.

The main lesson for me in the perspective of the king is that God is faithful when we are not, and even my own foolishness and pride will not stop a sovereign God. It is never too late to pray and seek His face, even as we stare down the mouth of a lion. Furthermore, let us "clean house" and remove all unrighteous thought and behavior once we recognize our folly. Finally, let us glorify God for his mercy and grace, and seek to follow Him more closely in every decision going forward. May the God of all grace pour abundantly His grace upon you and your loved ones, and may it please Him and glorify Him as we repent, call on His name, and live in His deliverance. Amen.

Do I Pray With God On My Side?

Have I really realized that God is on my side? Honestly, strangely, too often, no.

I became aware of this during my small group discussion tonight. We started in Zechariah 6, began discussing God’s sovereignty, and ended up engaging in prayer and discussion about hard things we were praying through. Someone made the astute comment that God was angry alongside my brother in Christ, angry at the same thing. Someone else astutely commented that God is interested in character, not comfort, holiness not happiness…but also that He seeks to bless us in the here and now, “in the land of the living.”

Psalm 27:13 – “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

Psalm 27:13 has been a special verse to me since I discovered it during the darkest time of my life. I was literally dying of an incurable disease, dealing with a recently broken relationship, and I was in physical and emotional pain on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. The physical pain gripped me and I could not escape it…even in periods of relief, I was gripped with dread of the next minute when it would strike again. In the middle of all this, I could see the fruit of the Holy Spirit being revived in me, for I had accepted Christ at a young age but had since not chosen Him as first in my life. I could see 2 Cor 4:16 coming to life:

2 Cor 4:16 - “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.”

This was me. The outward man was dying and would soon be dead. And in fact, I beckoned that day. I found myself crying to God as Job did, asking for His mercy in the form of death, so that I could come to Heaven where there is "no more crying or pain" (Rev 21:4).

Even still, as God refused to honor my short sighted, yet sincere request, knowing what was even better for me and His Kingdom, I did not yet know how to go on. And so, when God revealed Psalm 27:13 to me it was encouragement beyond description because I was faced with a life of pain and could not foresee any relief, and He would not let me die. To realize that I can have the same hope as David the psalmist that I would see the goodness of the Lord and His blessing as I live on earth. It and a new, real relationship with Jesus Christ sustained me throughout my trial, and I am excited to report that He has continued to heal and restore me from that day forward. I have no more pain and the disease is well controlled (auto-immune), as he has brought healing to my body, mind, heart, and soul. Praise God!

And so throughout the conversation with my brothers tonight, I was hit with a sound conviction: I often forget that God is actually on my side, He is for me, and “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:31) I realized that when praying hard for a loved one, whether it be salvation for a friend, restoration for a family member, or healing for myself, I often feel the burden of convincing God. I almost chuckle at my immaturity, for what man can convince God of anything? God made that man and knows his thoughts before he thinks them! And if I could “convince” God of anything—meaning that He was then inclined to act in a different manner than he would otherwise—I would be doing a terrible thing…for God is perfect without me and tells us that “My ways are higher” and “My ways are not your ways” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Going further, I realize that the root of much of my attitude of combating or convincing God comes from a life of rebellion. I have spent much of my life rebelling against Him, desiring the minimal legalistic belief in God, asking for things that were against His will in my own foolishness, and in a state of confusion for what is good in God’s sight…and as a reborn soul, I have forgotten that He replaces those old desires with the Holy Spirit. That although we once prayed very much against God, He has been patient, and once restored to Him, we can ask in confidence in single mindedness with our God and fellow believers.

And even with this knowledge, I find myself praying with a burden to turn God’s ear when praying for very pure things that are obviously part of His will (any prayer for salvation is in line with His will, for starters). But what resistance am I feeling? It is not God’s resistance. My epiphany is that God is absolutely for you and me in much of our prayers, once we have been sealed with the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. If you believe in Christ for your salvation, you have the Holy Spirit, and many of your prayers and desires are the same as God’s! (As a side note, always submit to His will and do not be so arrogant as to think that any and all of your desires are His…but realize that some of your desires as a regenerated soul, and truthfully, more and more of your desires as you are sanctified by Him will be His very will.)

What a comfort that God is looking down and saying “Yes! Yes, I am angry with injustice. Yes, I am jealous for my church. Yes, I am pursuing that lost, loved soul. Yes, I will heal you for my glory. Yes, I will never let go of you and will bring you closer every day.” At this moment, I lose the disposition of praying in a position facing God, sitting opposed to Him. Instead, I pray with Him, alongside Him, looking at the same things and desiring the same righteousness for His glory. He has his arm around you and me as we pray…He needs no convincing…He is for us, so who can be against us?

I pray in agreement with God Himself through Jesus Christ that you would feel how awesome, how powerful, how deep, how wide is the love of God for you, and that you will begin to pray with confidence, assurance, and peace alongside your Savior and Father God, for the building up of His church and for the glory of His name. Amen.

The Power of Redemption - Part 1

When is the last time that you looked at your life and were overwhelmed by the following attribute of God: Redeemer.

Redemption is the reclaiming as good, something that was bad. It is a reversal in esteem. We watch an athlete make a mistake that might cost the team the game, then later we see the same athlete make a play that wins the game for the team and we say, “He redeemed himself!” Yes he did. But what about the times when we just can’t redeem ourselves? What if the game was already over…the deal sealed…helpless to change the outcome ourselves? This is our plight as sinners, for our sinfulness, no matter how infrequent or distant past, has sealed our fates to be eternally separated from God (likely, it is more frequent and not-so distant past). That is, until God made a way through His Son Jesus Christ. Therefore, redemption is in the center of our relationship as sinners with a holy God.

Redemption is more than just forgiveness of sins. It’s more than being saved. It starts there but doesn’t finish there—what follows salvation and forgiveness of sins makes redemption doubly powerful. Think of it—the very same human, the same life, even the very consequences of sin—being made the very things that glorify God and bring joy to the one who was once downtrodden and separated from God by that sin. Not that sin is to be glorified as the cause to the observed effect: glory to God and joy in the heart of the sinner in a life-path once guided by the consequence of sin. No, if it stopped with sin as the only cause to the observed effect, then the end result would be Hell and it would feel as though the life that followed sin’s consequences was Hell creeping into the sinner’s earthly life. This is the life of the unrepentant sinner apart from God.

Upon sinning, our lives immediately change. We fall out of God’s preferred will, which was such splendid intimate relationship with Him, free from the smallest spot of sin. If upon sinning we were to fall to a lesser path and live the life of consequences without the element of redemption entering in, our lives would be an ever-increasing fall into despair and departure from God’s good plans for our lives. But when the same sinner confesses Jesus Christ as their Savior, a truly remarkable thing happens.

Christ is our Savior first, and also our Redeemer. This means that once we have sinned and departed from His path, He not only saves us from Hell, but He restores us to right relationship with Him. The paths our lives take from that moment onward suddenly have purpose that they didn’t have without Him. And remarkably, the consequences that flow from our now blotted out sins become the very things that glorify God.

Here is a personal example. I was once involved in a long-term relationship that we expected to result in marriage. Somewhere in the middle we strayed and the poison of sin in its various forms choked righteous pursuit of God out. The relationship ended with two emotionally shaken people, left in the wake of sinful, self-centered attitudes of children of God who forgot what it was to be set apart for His purpose. If you’ve ever been a part of a relationship that ended because of the mistreatment of each other, you know the feeling of guilt. And if you are a child of God, then the Holy Spirit will convict you of your sin and you will begin to see that you are suffering the consequences in your emotionally shaken state. At this point you may despair of “what could have been, if I’d only followed God!” Indeed. But here is where God’s redemption casts a new hue on the entire portrait of our lives.

(Note on relationships: if you have stopped pursuing God together as #1, there is a serious problem in your relationship. Regardless of what wonderful thing is your focus, even if it is perceived as godly--missions, leadership, family, etc--if pursuit of God falls from your #1 purpose in and of itself, a rift is forming between you and God. I encourage you to recognize it and stop it. For the sake of your earthly relationships, sure, but even more for your relationship with Christ.)

In this example, I expected to be married some years ago. The relationship ended as we lost focus on God, and I later saw the error of my ways. I thought, “now I’m on the plan B path…the aftermath…the life of consequences of sin.” I knew that Jesus was my Savior and that was a comfort. But what about the specifics of my life to come? How could I live, knowing that because of my sin, I forfeited God’s first chosen plan for my life? Well, first of all, I can’t actually make that claim—what God’s chosen plan for my life was or is specifically—but in that moment, this was my feeling (and you may have felt the same way before).

Fast forward 3 years. As a single adult, several opportunities have come my way that could have only happened in the life of singleness. I was introduced to a church small group for singles, of which I later became the leader for 1.5 years—a time of amazing relationship building with both my group members and my Savior. Through one member, I was introduced to another church and their singles ministry, where I was introduced to a mission organization that I went to India with. Through this organization, I have found a new passion and role in God’s kingdom to help rescue, protect, and empower vulnerable children exposed to human trafficking. Additionally, I was given the opportunity to continue to help this organization that brings Christ to a nation that is only 3% Christian (As Our Own, see also blog label "As Our Own"). Furthermore, I now have an amazing network of single men and women that I love, and God continues to use me right where I am…in this “plan B life”…a life that I love and wouldn’t trade for my once perceived “plan A life.” In fact, if these events hadn’t happened, this entire blog probably wouldn’t exist and you wouldn't be reading this—or at least the posts would be very much different. When I trace it all back, every cause and effect as seen by the human eye, I marvel at the power of an amazing attribute of our God—Redeemer. Only by His redeeming power could my life be this rich, this joyous. Only by His redeeming power could my relationship with Him be stronger and fuller. Only by His redeeming power do I now call this my “plan A life!” Not that sin was the right approach—it caused years of pain!—but God is both sovereign and redeeming for those who love Him. Through Christ and Christ alone do I look back with thankfulness, live in present joy, and look forward with eagerness to a life held in the power of redemption. So can you. I pray that you call on Jesus, embrace Him, and experience Him in the same way. Amen.

(continued in "The Power of Redemption - Part 2 - Rejecting Complacency")

"What do you want the Lord to do for you?"

Well, I’m on lap 2 of “My Utmosts.” This one is a bonus…this isn’t a leap-year, but this is the Feb. 29 devotional. I think it’s pretty awesome.

http://www.myutmost.org/02/0229.html

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE LORD TO DO FOR YOU?

"Lord, that I may receive my sight." Luke 18:41

What is the thing that not only disturbs you but makes you a disturbance? It is always some thing you cannot deal with yourself. "They rebuked him that he should hold his peace . . . but he cried so much the more." Persist in the disturbance until you get face to face with the Lord Himself; do not deify common sense. When Jesus asks us what we want Him to do for us in regard to the incredible thing with which we are faced, remember that He does not work in common-sense ways, but in supernatural ways.

Watch how we limit the Lord by remembering what we have allowed Him to do for us in the past: I always failed there, and I always shall; consequently we do not ask for what we want. "It is ridiculous to ask God to do this." If it is an impossibility, it is the thing we have to ask. If it is not an impossible thing, it is not a real disturbance. God will do the absolutely impossible.

This man received his sight. The most impossible thing to you is that you should be so identified with the Lord that there is nothing of the old life left. He will do it if you ask Him. But you have to come to the place where you believe Him to be Almighty. Faith is not in what Jesus says but in Himself; if we only look at what He says we shall never believe. When once we see Jesus, He does the impossible thing as naturally as breathing. Our agony comes through the wilful stupidity of our own heart. We won't believe, we won't cut the shore line, we prefer to worry on.

When I considered the question about the thing that disturbs me and also makes me a disturbance, I initially thought that the point was going to be to “grin and bear it.” Quit whining and disturbing others and know instead that “my grace is sufficient for you” (2 Cor 12:9). Indeed, His grace is sufficient for you and me. And indeed, if we are continually complaining to others about our situations, perhaps we should take stock of our salvation and instead of casting our cares upon humans, “cast your cares upon [Jesus], for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) However, the message here is to persist in our cries to God.

I love the blind man in the passage above: after being told to quiet down, instead “he cried so much the more.” I think this is the response of someone who truly believes in the power of Christ, the Son of God. Or at least someone who was so hopeful of healing, combined with just a mustard seed’s worth of faith, such that he abandoned all sense of himself—other’s perception, dignity, emotional letdown if this was yet another failure, etc—and took the risk in order to get closer to Jesus, to be heard by Him. We can take a lesson there.

Are you in need, either small or great? Is there something that hits your thoughts weekly, or even daily? Cry out to Jesus. If you start to feel a force that beckons you to be quiet about your distress before the Lord, and that you either should not concern Him with it or He will not hear it—cry out so much the more! Cry out to Him and dare to have the hope that does not disappoint:

Rom 5:1-5 –
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I am reminded that this hope is in Jesus Christ, not in the things that we desire from Him. There is a difference. For more thoughts on this passage, click the following link to read a blog post from last April, when I discovered that my hopes were somewhat errant and what true hope that does not disappoint looks like: Hope and Loss.

However, if you find yourself doubting in the midst of your desire to be hoping and believing, you are in good company. In Mark 9:14-29, Jesus encounters a man who’s son is possessed and may be near death:

Mark 9:21-27 –
“And Jesus asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. 22And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." 23And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes." 24Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" 25And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." 26And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, "He is dead." 27But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.”

“I believe; help my unbelief.” What honesty, sprinkled with just a little belief in Jesus. What might God do in your life if you had that smallest bit of faith and pure honesty before Him?

Ask Him not only for help with “the thing that disturbs you,” but also for belief in Him in the first place. Tell Him that you desire to believe. Splay your soul out for Him, keeping nothing back. I think you’ll be encouraged at His response as you feel His presence with you. In fact, I can testify to this truth. Sometimes the worst thing that we try to hide from God is our secret doubt and less than 100% faith in Him, whether in specific circumstances or in general. He knows your every doubt. When we confess our desire to believe, acknowledging our yet to be perfected faith, we open to Him to come in and make sure of our faith where it was once unsure. He is the “author and perfector of our faith,” after all (Heb 12:2).

Believe in Him. Ask Him for help with your unbelief—cry to Him all the louder, as the blind man who then received his sight…as the father who’s son was healed. Look with desperate need and with expectancy to receive His help. He is already here with you. He is ready to reveal Himself to you in this very moment. Are you ready to behold Him? Have you asked Him? “Ask…seek…knock…” and “how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask!” (Luke 11:9-13) Amen.

A Psalm to My God

"I feel so alone. Yet I am not alone. Lord, You turn loneliness into inspiration for action. I feel helpless, but I am not. I am more than helped—by my Father I am carried when I cannot stand and watched with joy when I can.

Is my life purpose not to abide in God? It is. To be one with Him, that is all. Everything else falls out from that. To be one with you, Lord, is to love. To be one with You is to be saved from sin. To be one with You is to hear the Spirit and act. To be one with You is contentment when there is not another soul to comfort me and when there is no immediate call to action.

To be one with you, Lord, is to have knowledge of You, which is Your Word. To be one is to grieve when You grieve, burning with passion for the lost and helpless. To be one is to be moved to the core, and to be one is to be content when there is no experience of inner movement to speak of.

Simply put, to be one with you, Lord, is to be content in all situations, not by indifference or ignorance, but by the peace of Your presence.

Your presence, my God, is felt differently in me every day. I cannot demand to feel You in one way or another—for You are already there. Instead, I must ask to have my eyes opened to Your presence this very moment. When I receive You in this attitude, I know what awaits me: receiving and experiencing that which I did not know in the moments beforehand. If I do not know contentment in this moment, Your movement, Lord, is peace. If I do not know direction, Your movement will be wisdom. If I do not feel fully alive, Your movement will be passion and conviction. If I do not know freedom, Your movement will be salvation. If I do not know truth, Your movement will be knowledge and discernment. If I do not know confidence, Your movement will be strength. If I do not know happiness, Your movement will be joy.

Your movement is exactly what I lack in this very moment. I will seek Your face, Lord, and receive what I most need—none greater than Your very presence.

When inspiration fades, what do I do? When disappointment and setback strike, what do I do? When I fall into a directionless wondering, what do I do? When there is no experiential sensation, what do I do? When I am tired and rejected and lonely and dying inside, what do I do? When I have no vision for what is immediately next, much less what I must do in the future, what do I do?

I will step into Your presence and come boldly before Your throne in prayer. I will do whatever I have to do in that very moment to bring my gaze squarely and intently on You, my God. I will do it and let nothing get in the way. Your presence beckons me, and I’ve found that You were there all the time…and I do not beckon Your presence so much as Your presence beckons me and I simply open to You. I am yours, my Lord, and only Your presence will sustain me. Amen.”

Are You Comfortable with the Human Predicament?

Being comfortable with a slight or a shortcoming can take a couple of forms, and it’s ironic that comfort itself can be either good or bad. Think about the following situation: you are overwhelmed with a workload or struggling to keep up with daily demands, whether it’s work or just life related. You can stay in this stressful state, or you can get comfortable with it and accept it for what it is. That comfort can go one of two ways. The unhealthy comfort takes the form of complacent familiarity and saying, “yeah, here we go again. I usually fall behind here, but it’s not possible to keep up with this and I shouldn’t be expected to…as long as I accept it, I won’t be stressed. I’m still doing better than some people.” Conversely, the healthy comfort takes the form of confidence and says, “yeah, I’ve been here before, I always feel this way and struggle, but somehow I pull through. I’ll get this right sooner or later.” Usually, our past experiences determine our “comfort” form. If we’ve repeatedly failed, we might take the first stance of getting too comfortable with failure to the point that we don’t even question it. We make excuses by comparing ourselves to others who have failed or sighting some unfairness in the situation. We accept the fate of failure as something beyond our control and try to find some sort of peace in it. That is one response to stress or setback. If our past experiences are more of successes, especially success in the midst of adversity, and even more especially if we’ve experienced success in the face of what we thought was certain failure, then we’re more likely to take the latter example of comfort and confidence. And of course, it is valuable to recognize when we need to seek additional outside help.

The above speaks to confidence or lack thereof in our own abilities and experiences. However, I would like to extend the idea of comfort to a much broader application: the problem with being human verses the holy perfection of God. The problem is that we are inherently imperfect, as sin entered human nature in the Garden of Eden.

Jesus in Mark 10:18 – “No one is good—except God alone.” Again, Romans 3:23 – “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

We are not gods or demigods. We have no perfection in us ourselves, and any perfect moments that we aspire to experience are not from ourselves but from outside ourselves. So we have this constant conflict—a desire to be something we’re not. And when we do occasionally experience this perfection in doing good in God’s sight, we have to embrace it as beyond ourselves as we are, or we quickly find out just how imperfect we are—and thinking that we are independently perfect is actually just another confirmation of how imperfect we truly are, for cancerous pride has entered us in that moment.

But life goes on…imperfect life, life of struggle and failure. Life with successes and “perfect” moments, yet still riddled with tiny little failures or huge, life-altering ones. How do we cope? How do we go on without stressing out and worrying a hole in our stomachs? We cannot trust ourselves—most of us have proven that, and the rest will see it proven either sooner or later. I think we have to get comfortable with being human. I mentioned the practical example above as a caution of the contrast between a healthy and unhealthy comfort in being human. Extending the example, an unhealthy comfort says “I’m only human. I make mistakes and sin and it’s ok. I can’t expect to get it right and no one else can either, so what does it matter? I’ll probably always carry on this way and I better get used to it sooner or later. I will never get past it…besides, look at all those people who are even worse than me!” Be careful there—“those people” can be changed in an instant, reborn, and meanwhile you’re still the same or deteriorating. Try to realize that God sees us in our present, but He also sees our futures and our potential. Time does not bind Him, so seeing the past, present, and future looks the same to Him. You are not removed from your past or future in this present moment. This may be an uncomfortable thought, given our sinful pasts, or instead an inspiration, given what we hope to be…but I think it shows just how marvelous God’s grace is. He knows your past sins, present struggles, and future temptations—He sees all of these at the same “time” (if time meant anything to Him, a timeless being), yet He forgives you yesterday, today, and forever. Once you’ve chosen Jesus Christ as your savior, you are forgiven.

Romans 3:21-26: “But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”

So what do we do? Do we take comfort in our humanness and let our desires run free? Or do we take comfort in our humanness with confidence—knowing that we’ve been tried before and God has saved us. That our failures don’t prohibit us from success. As in the previous example, we can grow confident that God has proven Himself faithful and full of grace to us countless times, and to our ancestors even more countless times. We can then get comfortable with the temptations that cross our minds…not that we accept them…no, that we know we have the power to reject them through the Holy Spirit. Not that we say, “well, here’s that temptation again and I’ll probably always give in…I’m human.” Instead we say, “ah ha…I see you, Temptation…you don’t own me, God does. Satan cannot have me. God has claimed me as His holy vessel.”

1 Cor 3:16-17 – “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? 17If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.”

At this point we stop being so scared of our deepest temptations or inadvertent “in the moment” sins…we instead recognize that we’re only human…and Satan the tempter is sub-deity…so temptation is either “only human” or another form of sub-deity…what power can it hold over Almighty God?

Can you gain this healthy comfort in your human nature? You can, and you’ll find more strength in it. It is a fruit of knowing just who God is, a confidence in Him and therefore in yourself, a reserved temple of the Holy Spirit. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13)

Hope and Loss

In this life, I feel at times like I have lost so much. So many dreams and ambitions, so many things that were once mine and are no longer mine. So many things that I might think of as my right as a human being. But at this point, my thoughts need revision. Truthfully, I have no right to anything physical and therefore have lost nothing.

What do I have a right to? A job, a house, food, healthcare, friendship, marriage, children, a standard of living? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of those things, nor anything else quantified in the physical world, do I have a right to. Rather, anything which I aspire to attain or have been blessed with is a gift from God (James 1:17, Matt 7:11). These were not mine to begin with, and I have no claim, no argument, no right to any of it. The difference is in attitude. Do you have an attitude of entitlement or an attitude of thankfulness for the multitude of blessings in your life? I can tell you that the latter is the correct one, though I do not possess it often enough.

Have you experienced some recent setbacks? So have I. And I have experienced even more setbacks as I tally them up from years past. But at the same time, if I will allow myself to focus on the positive, I find countless blessings. And as I focus on the setbacks, I am struck with the realization that the things that I “lost” were what I perceived to be good for me—things that I wanted and wanted badly. Things that even society as a whole would commend me for aspiring toward and would consider them “rights.” But society as a whole is wrong here. I have no claim on what my life should be like tomorrow or in 50 years—who am I to choose who I will be, what I will do, and whom I will know? The truth is that I must rid myself of those thoughts of selfishness and let God do the choosing and choreographing.

So what is disappointment? What is false hope? I have hoped for many things that just did not come to fruition. I have worked hard for these things and have done everything within my human power to attain them, and I have even consulted God through prayer that it might be done according to His will. Romans 5:5 says that “hope does not disappoint” (also see Isaiah 49:23). I have hoped in those things and I have been disappointed. So something has to give.

I am actually convicted by the very words I just wrote: “I have hoped in those things and I have been disappointed.” “I have hoped in those things.” “…in those things.” You see, my hope is not to be “in those things,” my hope is to be in God, His divine and perfect will, and in His perfect love for me and you. This is the hope that does not disappoint which is referred to in the Bible. My focus has been on physical things and not on God’s purpose. My focus was as such: “This is my will that I think can be used for Your will, God.” Rather, it should be “I am committed to your good and perfect will, God, that I may conform mine and change my entire list of desires, abandoning all that I consider good in my own flawed judgment.” From "My Utmost for His Highest," by Oswald Chambers: “If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled.” Noble—in the purest sense of the word.

Instead of questioning God in our disappointment, how powerful is our growth in relationship with God when we run to Him, beckoning Him to set us straight so that we might not bear the pain of our own poor judgment and separation from His holy, perfect plan. When our desires are His desires, our hope is His hope, and all things we hope for we will see.

Knowledge is not the answer. Obedience, patience, trust, and love for our Father are the answer. If we have these things, we quickly realize that knowledge is inconsequential. I caught myself praying and saying to God, “Lord, if I only knew…” If I only knew exactly what He wanted here and there…if I only just knew right now, I could go ahead and start out in the right direction. If I only had that knowledge! But as I was thinking that, I realized it was in error. First of all, we do know. We have the Bible, His Word, to guide us unto all things that please and displease Him. We can apply those things this very day, in this very moment. And beyond that, for specific events in the future, not only could we not handle knowledge of the future, whether partial or full, but that knowledge actually does not achieve the purpose. Upon receiving such knowledge, my focus undoubtedly would turn to myself and how I would be affected, instead of God's glory. And almost undoubtedly, I would attempt to change or at least tweak just one little thing. Even if my motives were altruistic, attempting to change it would defy the purpose of my asking and receiving the knowledge from God. Was my request not to have foresight in order to obey? It was, and if obedience is a key issue—oh, and it is—then let’s examine it: Obedience, through patience, trust and love for God requires absolutely no foreknowledge of any specific events. Therefore my request for knowledge in order to obey…is void. My request must instead be for patience, trust, and love shared between me and My Father.

In the end, I have lost nothing. Everything I have, everything I am, everything I have experienced…if there is any good in any of it, it is a gift from God. I have nothing that was not given to me and have lost nothing that was my own, even my very life itself (1 Cor 6:19-20, Job 10:12). I am an eternal being, yet a temporary tenant in a temporary vessel, whose purpose is serving and glorifying my God. The only true loss would be losing the opportunity to serve, praise, glorify, and mutually love our Creator…and even that is a gift, one I am thankful for, and one that I hope to have forever. This is hope that will never disappoint.