I write this to encourage you. To show you one way that the Lord works within you and me. I am self-conscious since this is my story, but I feel that sharing it may do some good in your life. That is my single motivation.
Matt 25:34-46 –
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
I was driving home from church and Sunday school one February night.
I exited off of the interstate loop that circles Houston, TX and came to a stop at the light, only a couple more turns from my apartment home. I was hungry. My lunch was small and it was almost 8:30 pm. I knew I didn’t have time to cook, so I planned on stopping at KFC on the way to my apartment for some tasty fried chicken, green beans, and a biscuit.
As I sat at the light, the only car at the intersection, a homeless man with a styrofoam cup looked at me. I looked squarely at him, a new phenomenon in my life, as I typically avert my eyes, pretend to be busy and hope for the light to turn green instantly. There is a double-sided feeling within me in those situations—one of common discernment and good judgment that would say to not help, that they’ll likely only use it for beer, and when you give a little, they immediately try to pump you for more. It’s awkward being rich and giving such a small amount to the poor--think about that--I hope it's as convicting to you as it is to me. Then again, I’ve heard of those who make more than minimum wage begging on the streets and therefore don’t even desire a normal job—this is tax free to boot. The other side is of compassion and what feels like obedience…and guilt every time you do nothing for them. So which shoulder’s argument are you going to listen to today, Will? Do you even know which side is right? Perhaps one is right sometimes and the other is right other times—perhaps you’ve been saved from a murderous cheat and liar a time or two…or perhaps you’ve not fed Jesus Himself by not feeding the least of these a time or two. How can I know as I sit in my truck?
That’s just it. Sometimes we don’t know. In those times, I think a correct response is deciding that since Jesus lives within me through the Holy Spirit, I’m going to engage this man and let Jesus speak to him. I don’t know how, but by Jesus’ presence in my life and my presence in this man’s life, Jesus is present in his life. The rest is Jesus’ work. I am just the obedient vessel.
Women: if it is after dark and you’re alone, don’t open your door or window to someone you don’t know. I believe this is sound advice. I’m not saying to be stupid here…conversely, I’m also not saying to obey “common wisdom.” I’m saying to the let the Holy Spirit speak. I’m not saying to put yourself at risk for the sake of “doing something.” That is foolishness. Movement on risky situations without the Spirit’s guidance can literally be a death sentence. Moving on risky situations with the Spirit’s guidance can be a Life sentence…for you and for those you help.
However, I did not feel that this situation was threatening or risky, except to my comfort level and awkwardness avoidance. Those things were certainly in jeopardy.
So I rolled down my window to just talk with the guy. I knew I had no cash and I didn’t even have any quarters. His slurred speech was almost indiscernible as he told me his standard 10-second plea for help, from which I learned that he was a veteran and had many medical issues from Vietnam. Was he telling the truth? I don’t know. Probably. Either way, he was a filthy homeless man in obvious need. But I had only pennies.
I told him that all I had were a few pennies. He said, “I’m not too proud for pennies. I’ll take ‘em if you’ll give ‘em.” I poured what might have been a dollar’s worth of pennies from my truck’s ash tray, 2 year’s worth of accumulated change that hadn’t been spent on those pesky toll booths. He was joyful and said, “God bless you” as he saluted me. I smiled and said “God bless you, too.” He grinned a half-toothed grin that was genuine.
I continued to drive to KFC. Dinner time. I planned to take it back to my apartment and eat quickly before launching into my ever-expanding task list. A few of the items circulating in my brain included finishing the BSF bible study homework for the next day, cleaning my apartment for visitors this week, preparing a sermon for the church I’ll be speaking at Sunday as well as a presentation for a missions report on a recent trip to India with an amazing organization (As Our Own) to present to the same church, and doing a load of laundry. Of course, only some of this would get accomplished this night before going to bed way too late, getting way too little sleep, and waking up way too early for work the next day.
“Can I help you?” “Yes, I’d like a 3-piece crispy strip meal with green beans and mac’n’cheese.” “Pull around for your total.”
My total was going to be about $6. What happened next was small, but would change my night and perhaps the life of another. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
I suddenly realized that I just gave a homeless man about one dollar or less in pennies, then within 5 minutes was spending $6 on myself; I would then go back to my upper-middle class apartment with air conditioning, TV, and internet to enjoy my expenditure. How could I give a single dollar to a man with great need, and then spend 6 times as much on myself on something that I probably shouldn’t even eat and certainly didn’t need? Yeah, I was hungry, but I’ve had enough calories this week for 1.5 people—I didn’t NEED that food, I WANTED it. And the man who really needed it got only a few pennies from me.
I sat there convicted, arguing intensely with myself on what I should do.
“Give the food to the homeless man.”
“I’m not going to do that. I don’t have time. They don’t even want food half of the time anyway. It probably makes me vulnerable, too. Maybe another time…. This conviction is interesting, though. I can learn from this conviction. Perhaps others can too. Maybe I should write it down for myself and others to learn from my situation. Maybe I or someone else will be convicted, too. Maybe that will encourage them to have compassion and help others.”
“Why don’t you help him now?”
“Oh man. That’s what I need to do…. I don’t want to.”
“You need to. How can you treat yourself so well and forsake others?”
“Hmmmmm. Ok, ok, let’s do it!”
So I drove back down to the intersection and parked in a nearby parking lot. I walked over to the corner where he had been standing. He was gone. Hmmmm. “Well, Lord, I made myself available.” I was half disappointed and half relieved. “I guess I get to have my dinner after all. I did as I was told and still don’t even have to actually give the food away. I guess that’s all you wanted tonight.” Other cars were at the intersection and I felt a little awkward on the street corner with my KFC bag in my nicest jeans and tailored dress shirt (from India, no less). I was out of place and anyone could see that. I wanted to immediately and nonchalantly just make a 180 and walk back so as not to be seen by anyone for too long. But something made me pause on that street corner. I turned back toward the intersection, revealing my face for all the cars to see, as I made a sweep of the surrounding area with my eyes. The gas station—there he was. I headed across the street in that direction.
I met him walking back toward me, and he didn’t even know me as he started his spiel up again. I said, “Here, I bought you dinner,” as I smiled and handed it to him. His response caught me off guard, “What made you do that?” as he looked up with an open mouth and genuinely inquisitive eyes shrouded by dirt on all sides. What a perfect opening. Too perfect—I wasn’t ready for that! I thought I would have to work Jesus into the conversation and that was my “worry.” I laugh at myself now as I recall those thoughts. I paused as I gathered my response and said, “Well, I felt convicted that I need to help you out. See, I believe in Jesus Christ and I know that I am to love others as He loves us, and His ministry was in doing these things to help out people like yourself.”
William responded in affirmation as I noticed the cross necklace around his neck. He began to tell me all of His thoughts about Jesus and the Bible. It was an interesting mixture of thoughts, and I wasn’t sure if it was encouraging or concerning, as He said that He didn’t listen to any part of the Bible except Jesus’ words, sprinkling in the occasional curse word throughout the discourse. He said He didn’t want to hear anything else and didn’t think it was worth reading. He said you could throw it all out, but He liked Jesus’ words. I partially agreed with him as I responded by telling him that “yes, Jesus’ words are the words of life,” then adding, “but the entire Bible is the inspired word of God and when you read it in context with Jesus’ words it all fits in together perfectly.” He wasn’t completely convinced, but he also didn’t want to refute it.
After talking for several minutes, another man came over, asking about cigarettes. I said, “I don’t buy tobacco or alcohol, but I do by food and water.” He then turned and walked away in a resigned state. William said, “get away, we’re talking about God!” I was taken aback, hesitated, then said, “hey, yeah, so you’re welcome to come and talk, too.” He kept walking away.
In the conversation, I had a chance to share with William the difficult times in my life. I shared how I had almost died only 2 years ago. I motioned with my hands up and down my torso and confessed that the Lord had built me back up, but when I was almost to the point of death, it was the first time I realized my NEED of him. He said, “yes, yes, and he was just testing you and he’s given it back to you.” I sort of affirmed, clarifying that it was more than a test—it was growth. I also added that although I had asked for death from him, my life or death on earth wasn’t the principal revelation. It wasn’t about getting my physical body back—it was that for the first time I recognized my NEED of him and for the first time began to give my entire life to him.” (I repeated part of it to make sure he got it).
I also wanted to make sure he felt real conviction and wasn’t simply reciting what he’d heard before. I wanted to get to his heart. I told him that I was driving home from church and that I learned something tonight. I shared with him that we learned in the book of James about the “untamable” tongue, and Jesus’ words in Mathew that “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” I told him that I was convicted that I needed to be a man of clean speech, and not only that—that my heart had to be clean in order to have clean speech. I was going to add that I heard him curse a couple times, but the Holy Spirit obviously spoke before I could, as he said, “well, you haven’t heard me cursing any…have you?” I chuckled and said, “well yes, I’ve heard you curse multiple times in just the short conversation we’ve been having.” It was humorous as he sort of said “no,” then sort of accepted it as reality. I said, “Isn’t it great that we can be forgiven when we sin? Jesus will forgive you, and I don’t hold it against you. I just wanted to point it out to you to convict you.”
Soon afterward, William asked if I could get him a hotel for the night. “Here we go,” I thought, “I don’t want to buy him a hotel room.” Searching for excuses, but wanting to continue to display Christ’s love, I said what I really meant: “Hmmm. Maybe. But here’s the thing: ‘Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish…” He interjected, “and feed him for life!” as he smiled in affirmation and delight, adding that he really liked that one. I told him that I wasn’t going to be around all the time to buy him dinner or provide hotel rooms or anything else. I told him that I don’t pass this intersection much and God was going to take me on to the next thing in the next place, adding that I wanted him to learn what was available to him and to “learn to fish” so that he could begin to provide for himself, using the gifts that God has given him. After that, I prayed with him for a minute or two, mentioning that we were the same—two sinners in need of a Savior. I wanted to make a point of praying with him, no matter what else happened; and frankly, at this point, it would give me the space to determine what I should actually do next.
So, as a gesture of good faith and genuine interest, I walked him down the road to the cheap hotel nearby. At this point, I realized my “folly.” I had just promised him a room for the night, but it didn’t occur to me until the end of the 5 minute walk that I was liable for all damages that might occur. My wise friends and family would say, “Duh, silly. You’re smarter than that and should have known better.” I would agree. I am smarter than that! I know these things. But the Lord saw to it that my “common wisdom” would not interfere with His work here tonight and only allowed that “common wisdom” to return to me when it was again profitable for His Kingdom. As we approached the hotel, I stopped and looked at William, as I began to have a talk about stewardship (without using that term). I told him that I needed to know that he would respect the room and the gift I was to give him. His reply was basically “what do you have to worry about?” as he pointed skyward and said that we both had God. Right. But I assured him that I was doing my responsible duty to make sure the room was well cared for.
At the check in counter, I had my wallet out and took the opportunity to show him the 10 Rupees that I carry in my wallet (less than a U.S. quarter’s equivalent). I said, “see I don’t carry any cash, except this Indian money.” “Indian money? Where’d you get that.” Now I had the opportunity to share what I did with As Our Own in India. I told him I had gone there on a mission trip. He asked if I preached. I was surprised that my answer was actually, “yes.” I thought it was funny because I didn’t think of that being my main purpose in India—my purpose was to love and disciple the rescued girls and then have a little “preaching” on the side. Nevertheless, the conversation started there. I didn’t get into many details, except to alert him to the problem of sex-trafficking and that children as young as 6 years old are involved. He said he was getting sick at the sound of it. I hoped it was true, but doubted his sincerity. Nevertheless, I used the opportunity to relay to him the transformational power of Christ in the rescued girls’ lives. I also like to tell about it to the homeless as I convey my sincere thankfulness for the United States of America and the fact that I am not a slave myself and neither are my sisters or other loved ones. He seemed to count is few meager blessings…but he was counting, or at least that is what I perceived.
After checking in, I walked him down to his room, an oasis from a hard, filthy existence. He entered and took on a demeanor that he had not previously possessed. His cries of joy were uplifting. I had been skeptical of the whole thing, from the beginning and even as I shared the Gospel with him. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized what this meant to him, and I was joyful, too. For the first time that night, I was actually glad that I was helping this poor man out. He said that he might spend half the night in the bathtub, enjoying an obviously much needed bath.
Again, he was cursing. This time I was more direct. “You’re going to have to stop cursing.” He looked like he just absorbed a light blow. I added, “I’m just here to give you a gentle reminder,” as I gave a sheepish smile.
Once again, in the room (with the door open), I arranged for us to face each other squarely as I explained to him what was happening. I told him that this was a great blessing and God’s gift to him through me. I told him that “to whom much is given much is required.” I asked him to think hard and pray often about how he could use this experience to glorify God. I said, “think about the feeling you have right now.” Immediately, he let out this cry of intense joy as he looked upward…it was like watching my young nieces at Christmas time—just the sheer joy of a pleasantly and abundantly surprised child. I said, “Let that feeling pour out in your life into others. Realize that all men are capable of very terrible things and the Devil desires to seize those things. Realize also that all men are capable of great things, such as this gift to you. As the love of Christ is poured into you, I want you to remember this and seek to pour out into others.” He said, “I never can. I could never do so much for someone else, as you’ve done for me.” “You can pray,” I replied. “Pray for those you see. Pray that God would reveal Himself to them. Pray for me.” I told him to seek to show the same loving-kindness any way he could to those he encounters.
As we departed for the night, he told me that he was going to tell all the other guys what I had done for him. I told him, “I do this in Jesus’ name. Don’t forget that. This is done in Jesus’ name.” He said he wouldn’t forget it.
I went back to the front desk and told the clerk that I’d be back at 6:30am on my way to work to make sure the checkout went alright. I told her I knew I was responsible for any damages, but that I wanted any pornography or rentable movies or anything that could be purchased to be disabled for the room. It turns out that this hotel was cheap enough that they didn’t even have those options.
I started for home and wasn’t even hungry any more. I decided that I wouldn’t eat any dinner after all. Strangely, it felt kind of good to actually give up my personal dinner for another.
My prayers as I left were certainly for responsibility. I prayed for the room to be protected and that I wouldn’t have to pay any more than I’d already paid. But my deepest prayer is this: that this isn’t just an “act of kindness” that lasts for a single night. If that is the extent of it, then I know that my Father in Heaven is well pleased with me…but that just seems so unsatisfying compared to the thought that this might be the first righteous domino in this man’s life. I would trade any favor I gained for a real experience of Christ in this man. That somehow through the Lord’s grace and power, this domino would fall tonight and start a chain reaction in his life of restoration…not just physically, but spiritually. That he would grow into a mature man for Christ and that his testimony would grow out of this experience and win many others to Christ. I don’t know how the Lord does these things, but I know He does them. I am confronted with the reality that I am such a small part—a helper for a night—and whatever comes next is so far out of my control. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase” (1 Cor 3:6). Amen to that. And may it be so abundantly true in the life of William, the homeless man on the corner. William, the loved child of God. William, the proud owner of a clean hotel room for a night. William, a freshly washed U.S. veteran back out on the streets. William, a powerful tool in the Lord’s hands.
You see, I had only witnessed “on the street” once before. I’ve probably only shared Jesus with a handful of people in my entire life. This is proof to me that as believers in Christ you and I are equipped, after all. We have the Holy Spirit. This didn’t come from long series of experiences with witnessing—this was like the mamma eagle kicking the baby eagles out of the nest, as they learn to fly as they fall. I hope that you take heart that you don’t need some amazing preparation. You simply have to obey and let the Holy Spirit speak.
Until we meet again, William, on earth or in Heaven, may God’s love, kindness, mercy, and grace abound in you and may your entire life be committed to Him. Amen.
I came home and wrote it all down. It’s 11:56pm, I haven’t done any of the things I set out to do tonight, and I’m hungry. But that’s alright with me.
