The Power of Proper Identity: Disciples and Victors

Who are you? What is your title? How do others introduce you professionally? How do you introduce yourself? When someone asks what you do or what you love or who you are, what is your answer?

In reading the Feb 15 “My Utmost,” I realized that my initial thoughts to a question similar to these are, “I’m Will, Chemical Engineer.” Then I added to my thoughts, “Christ Follower and Disciple Maker.” Interesting…can you imagine your business card reading, “[Your Name], [Your job title], Christ Follower and Disciple Maker?” I chuckle as I realize that we’d get a lot of strange looks.

But within this, beyond societal norms and professionalism, I believe such thoughts and titles actually reveal very much about ourselves. The truth is that putting all professionalism and societal norms aside, we often define ourselves and find identity in every description and merit, or even shortcoming, apart from “Christ Follower and Disciple Maker.”

Having a solid identity and knowing it is a powerful thing. If you lack either, you stand in a position of weakness, whether knowingly or unknowingly. If your identity is not solid (not “Christ Follower and Disciple Maker”), then knowing your fragile identity contains no power and is in fact weakening. Additionally, if your identity is truly solid (“Christ Follower and Disciple Maker”) but you do not walk in the full knowledge of it, you will find yourself walking in weakness. We must stand on the solid Rock of Christ and let it rule our identity, heart, mind and soul.

Imagine standing on the battle field between your country and an invader. You have a one hundred-fold advantage in men, equipment, technology, weaponry, ammunition, training, skill, strategy, and experience. You are set to crush them. But you don’t know it. You’ve been deceived into thinking that the odds are flipped. You don’t know your own strength and out of it comes fear, cowardice, doubt, and hesitation that can lead to a shocking defeat. You might surrender before the battle begins. And if you fight, especially if you are a leader, and you allow that fear to dominate you, you will not fight with all your might and risk being defeated. But if you knew your strength and advantage fully, you would crush your enemy all the more swiftly, leading your men well, and following your commanders well.

This battle scene is a picture of the strength that we stand in as Christ Followers. We stand on the unshakable rock of Christ (1, 2), we fight with the piercing Word of God, more potent than any weapon known to man or any being for that matter (3), and we are guarded impenetrably by the shield of faith in our Father God (4). We stand in victory and are “more than conquerors" through Christ (5). Will we face the battle with that identity? If so, the victory is ours, and you can mark my words on that.

So today, on what are you basing your identity? Be honest before the Lord. He will show you, as He continues to show me daily, where our identity resides apart from Him. Let Him. Confess it back to Him in surrender and affirmation. Then let the Holy Spirit invade you and magnify your identity in Christ such that He permeates your every desire and perception of yourself and others.

We started not long ago as “[My Name], [My job title or favorite interest], Christ Follower and Disciple Maker.” But turn that around and consider its implication as your identity: “Christ Follower and Disciple Maker, [Job title or favorite interest], [My Name].” See that we have now placed ourselves last, and whatever other parts of our identity in Christ that the Lord interweaves between His name and ours, such as spiritual gifting, familial relationships, etc, we have found ourselves in the proper place in our identity, with Christ first, others second, and ourselves last. May each of us be so blessed by the Lord to have our identity strengthened in Christ alone, conquerors and co-heirs in God’s Kingdom together, forever. Amen.

1 - Matt 7:24-25 - "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock."

2 - Psalm 27:1-6 - "The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD."

3 - Heb 4:12 - "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

4 - Eph 6:10-17 - "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

5 - Rom 8:37-39 - "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Patience and Lust: An Unexpected Conviction

A person that I respect was recently making a good point when he said, “Satan is patient. He will wait to strike at the right moment. We must be on our guard.” The message behind his point was accurate and good for edifying the group. However, a few days later, I find matching the word “patient” with Satan difficult.

We know that patience is a fruit of the Spirit (1). We know that Satan is not of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, we must be using the same word, “patient,” to describe two different things. Or the word “patient,” as we are accustomed to defining and accepting it, does not carry the full meaning of the fruit of the Spirit that is manifested in patience, as identified in the Bible.

When we think of the word patient, we usually think of the ability to wait, to delay gratification. To desire something currently unfulfilled or unattained, but to wait in doing so, and without grumbling. Someone says to us, “be patient,” and we say, “yes, I must be patient,” as our chest tightens and we count the seconds and minutes that pass, determined to be silent and show the outward appearance of patience. We traded true patience for an appearance of patience, and though we may have fooled the other person (and likely not), we have not practiced true patience whatsoever. Authentic patience of the Spirit goes much deeper, much purer, to the core of our will.

And that’s just it: patience is a matter of our will. In order to better grasp the depth of patience of the Spirit, it is useful to examine its opposite: impatience. What defines impatience? The idea that I must have something…a feeling, an object, a task completed, a destination reached, etc…and that I must have it sooner than I am receiving it. I submit the following previously unimaginable truth: impatience is lust. Consider the definition of lust as astutely noted by Oswald Chambers:

“Lust means – I must have it at once. Spiritual lust makes me demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Who gives the answer.” (“My Utmost For His Highest,” Feb 7)

Wow, to think that lust would even penetrate into our Spiritual lives! Oh, but it is true, isn’t it? We usually conceive of lust as a purely sexual term…that is it’s most common and accepted application, though less commonly we will see it used as an extreme desire for something such as power (i.e. “a lust for power”). It is the idea of desiring something outside of an appropriate means, and I find perhaps no better definition offered than, “I must have it at once,” whatever “it” may be; and this happens to define impatience, as well. Therefore, interestingly, impatience…is lust. Impatience just got a whole lot uglier in my perception, and I am personally convicted.

What are you pursuing today? Is it marriage or family? A job? Success? Perhaps the Lord Himself or His blessing? An answer to prayer? Is there any hint of impatience in you, concerning that desire? I know that it is hard to admit that the lust of impatience could widely permeate so many spheres of our lives. But realize this truth: conviction is not the presence of guilt for the regenerated in Christ, it is the proof of the presence of the Holy Spirit and His sanctifying action within us. So do not suppress conviction, embrace it! The ignorant would call you out in guilt for your conviction—nonsense! I contend that your conviction is the gateway from guilt into the grace of Christ. How could we repent if we were not convicted? How could we call on our Savior if we do not repent? How can we be saved if we do not know our Savior? Therefore, conviction is a glorious and holy thing. I encourage you to embrace it and let Him run His full course in your heart and soul.

So as we receive the Spirit and fruit of patience, let’s not stop at merely waiting for a specific desirable outcome to materialize. Even Satan does that as he lies in wait to devour the lost and vulnerable, as a prowling lion (2). No, let’s begin to practice patience in the Spirit by setting aside our wills. Any form of patience that ends short of sacrificing my will to God is incomplete. Let us “work out our salvation (3),” that has been granted to the regenerated in Christ, and become valiantly, humbly patient. May our Father God and the Holy Spirit breathe patience into your soul this day, conquering the lust that seeks to ensnare us, for we are “more than conquerors through...Christ Jesus our Lord (4).” Amen.

1 – Gal 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
2 – 1 Peter 5:8 – “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
3 – Philippians 2:12-13 – “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
4 – Romans 8:37-39 – “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

"What do you want the Lord to do for you?"

Well, I’m on lap 2 of “My Utmosts.” This one is a bonus…this isn’t a leap-year, but this is the Feb. 29 devotional. I think it’s pretty awesome.

http://www.myutmost.org/02/0229.html

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE LORD TO DO FOR YOU?

"Lord, that I may receive my sight." Luke 18:41

What is the thing that not only disturbs you but makes you a disturbance? It is always some thing you cannot deal with yourself. "They rebuked him that he should hold his peace . . . but he cried so much the more." Persist in the disturbance until you get face to face with the Lord Himself; do not deify common sense. When Jesus asks us what we want Him to do for us in regard to the incredible thing with which we are faced, remember that He does not work in common-sense ways, but in supernatural ways.

Watch how we limit the Lord by remembering what we have allowed Him to do for us in the past: I always failed there, and I always shall; consequently we do not ask for what we want. "It is ridiculous to ask God to do this." If it is an impossibility, it is the thing we have to ask. If it is not an impossible thing, it is not a real disturbance. God will do the absolutely impossible.

This man received his sight. The most impossible thing to you is that you should be so identified with the Lord that there is nothing of the old life left. He will do it if you ask Him. But you have to come to the place where you believe Him to be Almighty. Faith is not in what Jesus says but in Himself; if we only look at what He says we shall never believe. When once we see Jesus, He does the impossible thing as naturally as breathing. Our agony comes through the wilful stupidity of our own heart. We won't believe, we won't cut the shore line, we prefer to worry on.

When I considered the question about the thing that disturbs me and also makes me a disturbance, I initially thought that the point was going to be to “grin and bear it.” Quit whining and disturbing others and know instead that “my grace is sufficient for you” (2 Cor 12:9). Indeed, His grace is sufficient for you and me. And indeed, if we are continually complaining to others about our situations, perhaps we should take stock of our salvation and instead of casting our cares upon humans, “cast your cares upon [Jesus], for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) However, the message here is to persist in our cries to God.

I love the blind man in the passage above: after being told to quiet down, instead “he cried so much the more.” I think this is the response of someone who truly believes in the power of Christ, the Son of God. Or at least someone who was so hopeful of healing, combined with just a mustard seed’s worth of faith, such that he abandoned all sense of himself—other’s perception, dignity, emotional letdown if this was yet another failure, etc—and took the risk in order to get closer to Jesus, to be heard by Him. We can take a lesson there.

Are you in need, either small or great? Is there something that hits your thoughts weekly, or even daily? Cry out to Jesus. If you start to feel a force that beckons you to be quiet about your distress before the Lord, and that you either should not concern Him with it or He will not hear it—cry out so much the more! Cry out to Him and dare to have the hope that does not disappoint:

Rom 5:1-5 –
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I am reminded that this hope is in Jesus Christ, not in the things that we desire from Him. There is a difference. For more thoughts on this passage, click the following link to read a blog post from last April, when I discovered that my hopes were somewhat errant and what true hope that does not disappoint looks like: Hope and Loss.

However, if you find yourself doubting in the midst of your desire to be hoping and believing, you are in good company. In Mark 9:14-29, Jesus encounters a man who’s son is possessed and may be near death:

Mark 9:21-27 –
“And Jesus asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. 22And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." 23And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes." 24Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" 25And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." 26And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, "He is dead." 27But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.”

“I believe; help my unbelief.” What honesty, sprinkled with just a little belief in Jesus. What might God do in your life if you had that smallest bit of faith and pure honesty before Him?

Ask Him not only for help with “the thing that disturbs you,” but also for belief in Him in the first place. Tell Him that you desire to believe. Splay your soul out for Him, keeping nothing back. I think you’ll be encouraged at His response as you feel His presence with you. In fact, I can testify to this truth. Sometimes the worst thing that we try to hide from God is our secret doubt and less than 100% faith in Him, whether in specific circumstances or in general. He knows your every doubt. When we confess our desire to believe, acknowledging our yet to be perfected faith, we open to Him to come in and make sure of our faith where it was once unsure. He is the “author and perfector of our faith,” after all (Heb 12:2).

Believe in Him. Ask Him for help with your unbelief—cry to Him all the louder, as the blind man who then received his sight…as the father who’s son was healed. Look with desperate need and with expectancy to receive His help. He is already here with you. He is ready to reveal Himself to you in this very moment. Are you ready to behold Him? Have you asked Him? “Ask…seek…knock…” and “how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask!” (Luke 11:9-13) Amen.

Spiritual Dejection

Too good not to share:

"My Utmost For His Highest," Feb 7
http://utmost.org/spiritual-dejection/

Spiritual Dejection

"We were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, today is the third day since these things happened" —Luke 24:21

Every fact that the disciples stated was right, but the conclusions they drew from those facts were wrong. Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong. If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else. Dejection stems from one of two sources— I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied. In either case, dejection is the result. Lust means “I must have it at once.” Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Himself who gives the answer. What have I been hoping or trusting God would do? Is today “the third day” and He has still not done what I expected? Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God? Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer. It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected, because dejection is a sign of sickness. This is also true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it.

We look for visions from heaven and for earth-shaking events to see God’s power. Even the fact that we are dejected is proof that we do this. Yet we never realize that all the time God is at work in our everyday events and in the people around us. If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ.

Leaving a Pure Legacy

Have you ever desired to leave a legacy behind? To have an impact that outlasts your time with a group, on a team, in a job, or even in life itself? Many of us seek to “live beyond our years,” by impacting the world around us in a permanent way.

These can be noble goals and are certainly realized by those who serve the Lord their God with all of themselves—it is the natural outcome…it cannot be stopped. The issue that I find within myself and that you may find within yourself, as well, is that of desiring my legacy. We have erred immediately upon that thought.

“My Utmost For His Highest,” Feb 5:

ARE YOU READY TO BE OFFERED?

"Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy and rejoice with you all." Philippians 2:17

Are you willing to be offered for the work of the faithful - to pour out your life blood as a libation on the sacrifice of the faith of others? Or do you say - "I am not going to be offered up just yet, I do not want God to choose my work. I want to choose the scenery of my own sacrifice; I want to have the right kind of people watching and saying, 'Well done.'

It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism, but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet. Suppose God wants to teach you to say, "I know how to be abased" - are you ready to be offered up like that? Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in a bucket - to be so hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served? Are you willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work and remain saints because it is beneath their dignity.

Leaving a pure legacy means to leave an impact so centered on God that we are seen as insignificant—that we are seen only long enough for others to then see Christ, and we vanish behind His infinite light and glory. It means impacting the world around us for Christ, such that those who are impacted continue to see Him for eternity, and we are as a speck of dust or “drop in a bucket.” Indeed, that bucket was filled by a great many individual drops and each were chosen by God to play that small part—but me and my little drop have nothing to boast about ourselves. We instead can boast about the One who orchestrated the thousands of little drops like ourselves to fill this metaphorical bucket.

This “bucket” could be leading someone to Christ. Did we do that? Not hardly—we may have been the last drop that filled the bucket, but there were many drops before us paving the way, setting the foundation, filling the bucket. And we as “drops” in this bucket of another Spirit-filled soul merely fell where we were directed. God alone is to be praised for the work of grace for the newfound in Christ!

This “bucket” could be a ministry or volunteer position or opportunity. Again, did we do that? Is it our work that is so amazing? Not at all—it is the Lord’s amazing work that will continue with or without us—we are simply to be overwhelmingly thankful that we have been included! What a truth is this: God will not be deterred—not even by you and I, the stubborn part-time followers, insisting on our own way. Are we so important that if we disobey, the entire world will begin to crumble and all of God’s large and small purposes will not be fulfilled? God is sovereign—He rules all and is not dictated to by His creation. In disobedience, God will go right around you and I, and we will forfeit the glorious opportunity of obedience to His calling this very day. He doesn’t miss out—we do.

I know that you and I will continue to wrestle with the same pride and selfishness that rears its ugly head every time we are given the opportunity to do something for God. We may rightly love the service; but we must stop short of admiring our small little part. Doing so is like being invited to cut the ceremonial ribbon as a mansion’s completion is revealed. We are invited to join the master of the mansion inside, and by cutting the ribbon as he has asked, we have been made a part of all who are brought off the street to enter his mansion. At this point, if we sit and marvel at how well we cut that ribbon, with what skill and smoothness we operated the scissors, we will miss the entire point. This illustration may sound ridiculous—it should. This is how ridiculous we act when we take pride in leaving a legacy of our own, even if it is in doing the Lord’s work. It’s like the ribbon cutter wanting everyone to remember him cutting the ribbon instead of taking part in the celebration of the mansion and those who have been invited, accepting the invitation to live within it. If we don’t cut the ribbon, the master will certainly find another to do it—there would be many eager to take that place, many that would be thankful, and a few that would do it in humility as he desired. It’s not as if our declining to cut the ribbon will stop the mansion from being opened. And it’s not as if we built the mansion or made it possible for those called to enter. We simply did our small little part and can thank the master for allowing us to be even a small part of his purpose for this mansion.

As you may easily see, this mansion is Heaven, the master is God, Jesus is the one who has given the invitations and made a way for us to be there, and we are graciously appointed as ribbon cutters or servants in other parts of this glorious scene. Let’s set our eyes upon the Master, the Mansion, and the Way. Let’s glorify the purpose behind our purpose. Let’s “cut the ribbon” obediently and thankfully, seeking that no one would recognize our cutting—that no one would remember a meager human legacy of our own, but that they would instead immediately look to the Mansion of Heaven and Jesus who welcomes them. If we are successful in leaving a legacy that others see as our own and then exalt us because of it, we are doing them a disservice, for we have distracted them from all that is good…we have traded a glimpse of a perfect, loving God, for that of a self-seeking human.

We cannot go incognito our entire lives and live out the Gospel that we are called to live. Some people will notice us, and we have to realize that. What we do with that focus, and before even that—how we pursue God in service in our hearts, seeking our own legacy or instead seeking to leave His pure legacy—these are the things for which we are accountable.

Many of you may say, “I’m not like that, at least not often. I just don’t think of such things.” Very well, I pray that it is because God has worked within you to refine you daily into such a selfless servant. I speak to the many that say, “That’s me—I am convicted that I am always seeking my own. I desire to be changed.” I desire to be changed, too. Let us look to leave the only Pure Legacy—that of Jesus Christ, our Savior who has rescued the most corrupted hearts, like yours and mine. Let’s finally step up to the plate of humility and actually desire within our hearts in our quite moments of absolute honesty to say sincerely “He must become greater. I must become less” (John 3:30). We can struggle and strive, and still we cannot do even that—ask to become less—on our own. The amazing thing about Jesus and our need of Him is that it is so utterly sweeping that not only can I by no means obtain salvation, only accepting it as freely given from Him, but in addition, once saved, I must continually rely on Him to do any good thing in me. I have to decide to want to be changed, and I have to follow through, but I cannot follow through as a matter of pure self-will. I can ask God to change me, and I can will to ask Him, but I must have Him come in, set up shop, and begin to do the changing. And even the desire to be changed is found in the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: 9 of sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; 11 of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. – John 16:8-11

How utterly helpless and condemned we are on our own—for we cannot even repent from our sins without His conviction. We need Him to even know that we need Him. He has made it such that all can see and know that He is God, then we need Him to respond to our conviction and cry for help, then we need Him to refine us into the servants He and we desire to be. Jesus said in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” Apart from Him I can do only evil. Apart from Him I will not even know I am evil and will spiral straight to Hell. But with Him, I am convicted. With Him I am saved. With Him I am transformed. With Him, I have no legacy of my own. With Him I am made a part of His pure legacy. With Him, the same is true for you. Forever. Amen.

Recognizing and Responding to the Call - Wisdom from Oswald Chambers

"My Utmost For His Highest," Jan 14(http://utmost.org/called-by-god/):

CALLED OF GOD
"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

God did not address the call to Isaiah; Isaiah overheard God saying, "Who will go for us?" The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God's call depends upon the state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition. "Many are called but few are chosen," that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, "Who will go for us?" It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, "Now, you go." God did not lay a strong compulsion on Isaiah; Isaiah was in the presence of God and he overheard the call, and realized that there was nothing else for him but to say, in conscious freedom, "Here am I, send me." Get out of your mind the idea of expecting God to come with compulsions and pleadings. When our Lord called His disciples there was no irresistible compulsion from outside. The quiet passionate insistence of His "Follow Me" was spoken to men with every power wide awake. If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we too shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect freedom will say, "Here am I; send me."

Pair this up with recent insight from previous days' "My Utmosts:"

"If we obey God, it is going to cost other people more than it costs us, and that is where the pain begins. If we are in love with our Lord, obedience does not cost us anything— it is a delight...
Beware of the inclination to dictate to God what consequences you would allow as a condition of your obedience to Him." - Jan 11

"We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error, and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Himself." - Jan 8

"He went out, not knowing where he was going —Hebrews 11:8

Have you ever “gone out” in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, “What do you expect to do?”You don’t know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to “go out” in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely...
Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do— He reveals to you who He is." - Jan 2

"There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait.

At first you may see clearly what God’s will is— the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, or something else you feel is distinctly God’s will for you to do. But never act on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise which will take years to untangle. Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move." - Jan 4

I'll admit, I don't have all this put together in my mind yet, either. I know to wait on God, for His timing is perfect. I also know to listen in the waiting and when I hear His still, small voice, to say "Here am I, send me!" I also know that it takes faith, beyond what is certain or logical, such that we will go out like Abraham, "not knowing where he was going." I know that we must count the cost, not just to ourselves to but to loved ones and those around us, and that any cost to us or others is no reason not to obey the call, but rather to prepare our hearts for His work. I know that although the call can bring sacrifice to others and myself, that the call is a delight, for we "Delight [our]selves in the Lord, and he will give [us] desires of [our] heart" (Psalm 37:4). I also know that I cannot dictate what consequences will be conditions of my obedience or what the call may be--but that obedience is our only condition.

The paragraph above is just a brief summary of the "My Utmosts" quoted above, and each is sound and in agreement with the Word. However, how do we apply each of those things correctly, such that we are not either over eager or too hesitant? Again, I'll admit that I'm still figuring it out, but I love to ponder these things and I hope you do, too. I think of it like this:

In the moments before the start of a horse race, each horse is in the gate with the rider poised for the start. But there is silence. Some horses stir a bit, getting anxious for the start--these often get poor starts. Some horses and riders are almost too relaxed or not on full alert, such that when the gate drops, there is a slight enough hesitation to put them in the back of the pack at the start. In any case, all horses and riders are ready to some extent, yet the gate has not been dropped.

Sometimes I think we need to have the attitude of the horse and rider behind the starting gate. We should not try to charge ahead while the gate is in place! We will be disqualified from that race and have to wait for the next one. By the same token, we should make sure we've gotten to the gate and in position, or the race will start without us. But I think we can be like that well-trained horse and rider, ready for the drop of the gate. Until the gate drops, until the Lord makes it clear without a doubt that we are to charge forward, we wait. Immediately upon dropping the gate, immediately upon picking up on that still, small voice, we go out with all we can muster, though we don't know what the race is going to look like--will my horse grab the lead or will I be last? Will the track be slippery? We go out without knowing where we are going, but we go at the drop of the gate. Others will not be chosen by God for this race that we're running, though we may wish that we could run with them. "Run with endurance the race marked out for you" (Heb 12:1). We may feel that we wanted to go with others on their races before us (their calls), or that we want to bring others and not "leave them behind" in our own minds, but God has called each to a race marked out for them. We cannot consider what it is costing them or us to run this race--we simply run the race marked out for us. And though we do not know all the consequences and there was sacrifice in leaving our comfortable stables to get out on the edge in the race, putting ourselves at risk, we can forget all the other distractions and realize the great exhilaration of the race--we are running with the wind in our faces! But only if we have gone through the life-long training, only if we've taken our place at the starting gate, only if we've waited for the gate to drop, and only if we'll charge forward when the gate is dropped, knowing perhaps little more than that a gate has been dropped, we are here and equipped by our Master Trainer, and we must run the race He has marked out for us.

All of the above alludes a specific call for ministry. As if we as riders and horses are committing to something new and different that is full-time ministry. Indeed, this fits, I believe, and you and I may very well need to read it that way. However, we might want to examine in what way we define "full-time ministry." When you hear that, I'm sure you think of pastors and missionaries, etc. Indeed, they are included. But could you be in full-time ministry right where you are? Could you be an engineer, school teacher, doctor, or lawyer in full-time ministry right now? I believe the answer is "yes." We often think about "going out without knowing" as being discarding all for the sake of a career in ministry. That may very well be your call--do not dismiss it if He is asking! And if you're unsure, then you can still start in obedience by making your life and career full-time ministry right now. The difference is attitude and approach to the work day. The difference is attitude and approach to friendships. The difference is attitude and approach in your thought life. We can "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5) in the working world, doing everything "...with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Col 3:23) being ambassadors for Christ every day.

I do not want to discount the calling to pastors and missionaries here. I believe that as many will read this, less are going to commit to such service for God than He has called. "Many are called, but few are chosen." As O.C. writes, few prove themselves chosen by responding to the call. In encourage you, in whatever way the Holy Spirit is guiding you right now, do the following:

- Listen for God continually while you wait and as you go out
- Wait for the Lord's direction that you KNOW is from Him
- When you act in obedience, go out without knowing or being hindered by the consequences for you and others
- Check to make sure that whatever the sacrifice, you still have the full joy of the Lord
- Start living for Him in full-time ministry right where you are today
- At any snare, at any success, at all times, "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess 5:17)

If you can satisfy these conditions, I believe that the Lord has you right where He wants you, your life will never be the same and for the better, and we are one step closer to walking down the path of His preferred will.

If this is all confusing, I understand. You might throw everything written here out the window and do just one thing: pray. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you what God can tell you Himself through prayer and sincere study of His Word. I write these things to be a catalyst in your relationship to Him, not at all to be a substitute. Your inspiration can start while reading here or "My Utmost" or any other Christian writing, but it must immediately be fed by the Source, God Himself. This is endeavored through prayer and Scripture.

May the Holy Spirit speak to you today, and may we both respond to His voice in the way that is most pleasing to our Father in Heaven. Amen.

From "Against you alone have I sinned" to "For you alone do I live"

From the Jan 4 “My Utmost for His Highest,” (http://www.myutmost.org/01/0104.html) –

Peter said to Him, ’Lord, why can I not follow You now?’ —John 13:37

“Peter did not wait for God. He predicted in his own mind where the test would come, and it came where he did not expect it. “I will lay down my life for Your sake.” Peter’s statement was honest but ignorant. “Jesus answered him, ’ . . . the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times’ ” (John 13:38). This was said with a deeper knowledge of Peter than Peter had of himself. He could not follow Jesus because he did not know himself or his own capabilities well enough. Natural devotion may be enough to attract us to Jesus, to make us feel His irresistible charm, but it will never make us disciples. Natural devotion will deny Jesus, always falling short of what it means to truly follow Him.”

This “My Utmost” is very challenging and convicting to me. “Natural devotion will deny Jesus, always falling short of what it means to truly follow Him.” I know this full-well. We have to get beyond “natural” devotion. The kind of devotion that is excited and inspired and purely emotional at the beginning, but fades with time, or the kind of devotion that is to a cause, however noble, or to the amazing blessing or gains that we may see personally from such a devotion. This is any devotion short of sincere commitment to Jesus Himself, leading to strict obedience to His Word and a sincere desire to know Him more.

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world— our faith.” – 1 John 5:3-4 (see also John 14:15, 21, 23).

Again, this is more than emotional response and much, much more than a desire for the good things that such a relationship brings to my life. This is commitment to Him, at the risk of abandoning all that I consider to be my own. “Against you and you alone have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4). This is an interesting and true Bible verse, as David writes that against God, and God alone has he sinned. In addition to sinning against God, we think about sinning against our family, friends, or strangers because of the hurt it might cause them, or perhaps because of some good fortune at their expense, whether they know it or not. But this verse reveals that our only sin is against God.

Have you ever put a stake in the ground and said, “I will sin no more,” or “I will not commit this sin anymore, starting right now!” And you last for hours, days, maybe even months…but sometime down the road you and I failed to keep that commitment? Why is that? Because there was even the smallest element of “natural devotion” short of holy devotion to God Himself. Often we realize in those times that we are deprived of something and we want to change that. Sometimes we use a loved one in our lives as motivation not to commit that hurtful sin (whether it be outbursts of anger, infidelity, lying, or an obvious impurity in your heart or other sin). These motivations may seem noble, but in the end they lead to failure. This is because the motivation must extend to this: “Against you and you alone have I sinned.” If our aim is anything short of devotion to God in obedience to Him for HIS sake, then we will fall.

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Cor 10:12-13

To whom are we committed? To our Father who is with us to strengthen us to withstand all temptation that we might face? If not, then we will not stand. If so, then we will surely stand. The struggle then, isn’t against sin or to stay motivated and devoted to the cause or the person that we are abstaining from sin for…the struggle is to remain wholly devoted to the only One who can save us and can strengthen us such that we are “more than conquerors” (Rom 8:37). This “One” is Jesus Christ. When our daily motivation to lead a holy life reaches a point where our thoughts are purely for God and living for Him, recognizing our weakness even in our strongest moments and our need for Him, we have a foothold that will never slip. For most of us, this is a life-long struggle, which is the source of “work out your salvation” (Phil 2:12). Our salvation was immediate and permanent upon receiving Christ (Eph 1:13-14, 4:30, 2 Cor 2:21-22). Yet, we must work out that salvation in the daily struggle with sin, and our victory is in supernatural devotion to Jesus, imparted to sincere hearts that truly seek Him first and above all else, realizing that “against you and you alone have I sinned,” and therefore when I live righteously, it is because for You and You alone do I live. Amen.

"To Live is Christ" - Personal Death that Brings Abundant Life

From a young age, as a Christian I have always known about being “born again.” And I have always known that Christ lives through us. And I have always known that the Spirit indwells us (maybe not always known, but for long enough). But I have never quite thought of it as O.C. puts it in the 2nd paragraph of the "My Utmost" at the bottom of this post, that we are analogous to Bethlehem as Jesus is actually born into us. If we will yield and let Him enter into us, just as Mary was obedient and thereby yielded and let Jesus into the world through her, then He is born into our lives permanently from that day forward just as His impact on this world is permanent from the first Christmas onward. The day of our salvation is our very own personal Christmas day. Then I think we spend our lifetimes progressing to the Cross. We are to partake in His sufferings upon His birth within us. We may each have different paces to Calvary, carrying our crosses, but we must each be headed there every single day.

Luke 9:23-26 – “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? 26 Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

Rom 8:17-18 – “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

It’s a fresh realization of the life of Christ within me. As O.C. puts it, “Immediately Christ is formed in me, His nature begins to work through me.” I long for more of Christ to come naturally through me. Do you ever struggle with that? I do, as I battle the “old self” of sin that I have been (Rom 6:6, included below). I believe the more identified we are with Christ’s death, lived out by our death to sinful nature, the more purely His life is worked out within us, as Paul wrote in Phil 2:12: “Continue to work out your salvation.” I believe this is what he means: Not that we’re earning it, but that we’re learning to die for Christ more every day—we have to work that out by intentional submission and fixing our eyes upon Jesus (Heb 12:2), forsaking personal selfish and sinful desires of old. Therefore, instead of striving to do more good, especially when we see the bad we’ve done—hasn’t this been our strategy, trying to make ourselves do more good and less sin?—instead, we need to seek to identify with Christ in the cross…we need to seek to die to self each day.

To seek the fruit before the plant is mature is backwards and irrational. When we seek good works and pureness of heart without first abandoning all for the sake of Christ, experiencing a full death of the “old self,” we have the same irrational expectation. The seed must be planted, it must be watered, it must soak in the sunlight, and its roots must run deep. In the Parable of the Sower (Matt 13:1-9, 18-23), the sun and the rainstorms killed the plants in shallow soil, but they serve to grow those with fertile soil. So we see that to grow we must embrace the rainstorm of trial and difficult circumstances, driving our roots deep into the Word and prayer and truly personal relationship with Christ. We must endure the sun that seems harsh as we are “in the light as He is in the light” (1 John 1:7), exposing our every sinful desire. We must see God as sovereign and holy, as well as loving, to endure the sunlight. And if we do, we will then grow. And if we grow, we will see much fruit. This growth comes by death first, then trial (or really, an intention of death followed by actually death, one piece of me at a time)—both are identification with Christ. So if our goal is to be like Christ, not just superficially, but inside our very hearts every private or public moment of the day, we must realize that the only way is sharing in His sufferings. We will not experience Him without that, but we will experience the infinite amazement of His presence within us if we do. When once we get a taste of His presence, just a little fuller than we did the day before, we will realize there is no circumstance in this world worth trading for, and our present sufferings grieve us less, giving us more joy, as we “consider it pure joy… when you encounter trials of various kinds” (James 1:2) because we know that we are being grown even closer to the purest and abundantly fruitful love of Christ. Moreover, when we are concentrating on the following: "I must do good, I must not do evil," our focus is on self. When we acknowledge, embrace, and enjoy the Lord growing within us, our focus is rightly on Him.

Gal 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Rom 6:3-11 – “Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
(See also Rom 8:9-11, Gal 5:24, Gal 6:14)

Finally, have you ever wondered exactly what Paul meant by “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21)? Dying is easily seen as gain with Heaven in mind, but what about “to live is Christ?” I used to think that this meant to live as Christ by Him living through me, doing good things and acting in a proper manner. However, I have a new perspective: to live is Christ because to live as one born again is to be crucified with Him daily. The essence of life becomes sacrifice, just as Jesus sacrificed all. The essence of life becomes submission to the Father, just as Jesus submitted, as seen in His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, saying in effect three times, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt 26:39, 42, 44). The essence of life becomes service, just as Jesus served our sentence of death in our place. The essence of life becomes love, just as Jesus loved us literally to death. The essence of life then and only then becomes pure joy, as Jesus' joy was made complete by His resurrection and the redemption of our willing souls who accept Him. Therefore to die is gain, but to live as a true believer is certainly Christ. Amen.

"My Utmost For His Highest," Dec 25:

HIS BIRTH AND OUR NEW BIRTH

"Behold, a virgin shall bring forth a son, and they shall call His name Emanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us."Isaiah 7:14 (R.V.)

His Birth in History. "Therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God." (Luke 1:35.) Jesus Christ was born into this world, not from it. He did not evolve out of history; He came into history from the outside. Jesus Christ is not the best human being, He is a Being Who cannot be accounted for by the human race at all. He is not man becoming God, but God Incarnate, God coming into human flesh, coming into it from outside. His life is the Highest and the Holiest entering in at the Lowliest door. Our Lord's birth was an advent.

His Birth in Me. "Of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you." (Gal. 4:19.) Just as Our Lord came into human history from outside, so He must come into me from outside. Have I allowed my personal human life to become a "Bethlehem" for the Son of God? I cannot enter into the realm of the Kingdom of God unless I am born from above by a birth totally unlike natural birth. "Ye must be born again." This is not a command, it is a foundation fact. The characteristic of the new birth is that I yield myself so completely to God that Christ is formed in me. Immediately Christ is formed in me, His nature begins to work through me.

God manifest in the flesh - that is what is made profoundly possible for you and me by the Redemption.

Healthy Aspiration - Abiding in What Can Only Be Given

From "My Utmost for His Highest," November 24:

DIRECTION OF ASPIRATION
"Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters . . . so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God." Psalm 123:2

This verse is a description of entire reliance upon God. Just as the eyes of the servant are riveted on his master, so our eyes are up unto God and our knowledge of His countenance is gained (cf. Isaiah 53:1. R.V). Spiritual leakage begins when we cease to lift up our eyes unto Him. The leakage comes not so much through trouble on the outside as in the imagination; when we begin to say - "I expect I have been stretching myself a bit too much, standing on tiptoe and trying to look like God in stead of being an ordinary humble person." We have to realize that no effort can be too high.

For instance, you came to a crisis when you made a stand for God and had the witness of the Spirit that all was right, but the weeks have gone by, and the years maybe, and you are slowly coming to the conclusion - 'Well, after all, was I not a bit too pretentious? Was I not taking a stand a bit too high?' Your rational friends come and say - Don't be a fool, we knew when you talked about this spiritual awakening, that it was a passing impulse, you can't keep up the strain, God does not expect you to. And you say - Well, I suppose I was expecting too much. It sounds humble to say it, but it means that reliance on God has gone and reliance on worldly opinion has come in. The danger is lest no longer relying on God you ignore the lifting up of your eyes to Him. Only when God brings you to a sudden halt, will you realize how you have been losing out. Whenever there is a leakage, remedy it immediately. Recognize that something has been coming between you and God, and get it readjusted at once.

There is a subtle distinction in the writing above between striving to attain the Goal and seeing and knowing the Goal. If you read O.C.'s writing, you'll find a very strong emphasis against striving to achieve any great thing on our own or for ourselves (which is actually a Bible Truth--no doubt the Truth O.C. is trying to convey)--though it may seem so, he is not condoning this striving in the passage above. The above addresses the goal and the life of continual full reliance on God, producing an awareness of His presence that overflows in us to the point that others might notice and errantly say "it was a passing impulse." If we can keep this in mind as not a contradiction, but instead as clarity on the life of delighting in the Lord, desiring Him above all else and even being very aware of Him versus striving to attain any self-righteousness by our own efforts, then we can see this not as a contradiction but instead as a more detailed clarification. Jesus is the Way and the Destination. While united with Him, we do have the experience O.C. describes. Let us never give it up willingly in the name of false humility, knowing also that we could never gain it on our own apart from Him and He is available to all.

Radical Faith, Greatest Joy

Check out the "My Utmost" for Oct 23: http://www.myutmost.org/10/1023.html

Here is a quote that I find most powerful and deep reaching:

“How are we going to get the life that has no lust, no self-interest, no sensitiveness to pokes, the love that is not provoked, that thinketh no evil, that is always kind? The only way is by allowing not a bit of the old life to be left; but only simple perfect trust in God, such trust that we no longer want God's blessings, but only want Himself. Have we come to the place where God can withdraw His blessings and it does not affect our trust in Him? When once we see God at work, we will never bother our heads about things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in Heaven Whom the world cannot see.”

Firstly, can you even imagine life so refined by God that you have no lust or no self-interest? No sensitiveness to “wrongs,” or unprovokable love? I can hardly fathom it. But we’re working our way there by God’s grace.

Secondly, would our faith be tested and revealed so strong as it currently seems or appears if all of God’s blessings were stripped away? All of them. For Job, all was taken but his life, yet he remained faithful. We seek blessing after blessing—at least I have for the longest time—but there is a major difference in seeking gifts vs. seeking the Giver. To think that we’d be content to have daily conversation with God, stripped of every human comfort and physical blessing. To think that quite literally, “My grace is sufficient for you,” and that was literally all we had to cling to (2 Cor 12:9). Few of us have ever truly been there, not to that extent, and honestly, I kind of hope not to be…yet, what a joy must be developed in someone who is led down that path, never forsaking God, continuing to have faith and be sustained by God Himself alone, supernaturally through the presence of His Holy Spirit within us. I don’t think you or I even know what that really means or looks like, for we are so far from it. It makes me consider the following: the man who does not know Jesus and is suffering--he is to be pitied. The man who stands solidly in Christ and is suffering--he is to be envied (in a righteous sense, such that we see his plight as good and desirable). That’s a radical change of thought, but I believe it is true. Understandably, many cannot accept it.

Let's ask ourselves this piercing question today: What would it take for me to trust God with absolute abandonment to the point that all I desire is His presence and grace and nothing else matters? Am I willing to pursue eternal life with Him that way, or am I resigned to always put a little bit of myself above all other things, including my all-powerful, perfectly loving God and Creator?

A Great Struggle: Trial vs. Complacency

From “My Utmost For His Highest,” May 19 -

"OUT OF THE WRECK I RISE"

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" Romans 8:35
God does not keep a man immune from trouble; He says - "I will be with him in trouble." It does not matter what actual troubles in the most extreme form get hold of a man's life, not one of them can separate him from his relationship to God. We are "more than conquerors in all these things." Paul is not talking of imaginary things, but of things that are desperately actual; and he says we are super-victors in the midst of them, not by our ingenuity, or by our courage, or by anything other than the fact that not one of them affects our relationship to God in Jesus

Christ. Rightly or wrongly, we are where we are, exactly in the condition we are in. I am sorry for the Christian who has not something in his circumstances he wishes was not there.
"Shall tribulation . . . ?" Tribulation is never a noble thing; but let tribulation be what it may - exhausting, galling, fatiguing, it is not able to separate us from the love of God. Never let cares or tribulations separate you from the fact that God loves you.
"Shall anguish . . . ?" - can God's love hold when everything says that His love is a lie, and that there is no such thing as justice?
"Shall famine . . . ?" - can we not only believe in the love of God but be more than conquerors, even while we are being starved?
Either Jesus Christ is a deceiver and Paul is deluded, or some extraordinary thing happens to a man who holds on to the love of God when the odds are all against God's character. Logic is silenced in the face of every one of these things. Only one thing can account for it - the love of God in Christ Jesus. "Out of the wreck I rise" every time.

Does this speak to anyone else? There are two sentences that jump more than any other to me. The first is “I am sorry for the Christian who has not something in his circumstances he wishes was not there.” At first read, that may seem over-the-head spiritualized, or alternatively you may think, “that condition is always met—there is always at least some little thing,” and therefore dismiss the statement. However, this hit me because…I have experienced it. I can think back to a specific period in my life where there was almost nothing that I consciously wished wasn’t there. And if you know what I know about it, then you would agree with O.C. that you are sorry for me in that moment. That period of time, the last time “everything in the world was right,” marked the beginning of a spiritually dry period in my life. You see, shortly following that period, it all started to crumble—most disturbing of all, my focus and relationship with Christ. I did not recognize my need of Him. I became an angry, self-centered, prideful, arrogant man…or something short of a real man of God. Though it is hard to purge every bad behavior or tendency from the flesh because we are in part just that—flesh—the point is that there was a noticeable difference in me.

Oh yes, on a given day without much sleep the night before I would probably complain that I was tired and needed a break. Ok, ok, yes, there were circumstances, minor to me, that I wished were different, to O.C.’s point…but I don’t think that’s his main point, after all. Overall, I was content…and complacent. And I never thought about it quite like this until reading O.C’s pity for a person in that situation. Perhaps you’ve experienced it and know exactly where he’s coming from. Perhaps you haven’t, but now I hope you can see it before it would happen to you. And we don’t become masochists that want trial to keep our soul’s awareness up…but we might perceive them differently, if such trials do persist. God is shown through our trials. If you reach a situation where for an extended period of time (I’ll say months), there is no major distraction that hampers your mind, body, or soul…nothing that troubles you…perhaps that is the moment we need to reach for God the most. Don’t get me wrong—there are seasons of great blessing. Thank our Good Lord that for most of us in America it has been the greater portion of our lives. But those times of blessing aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive from the trials. In fact, the past 2+ years of my life can be seen in two completely different ways, depending on the lens that the viewer uses.

If you know anything about polarizing lenses, you know that they can filter out parts of visible light. Use the right lens and the distracting light is filtered out, leaving the desired light. Use the wrong lens and the opposite effect is observed. If you remove the polarizing lenses from my recent life, then you can see the vastly different perspectives: one would say that it’s been the worst, most trial ridden and heartbreaking stretch of my life by far. A concentrated dose of hardship, both physical and emotional. And I’ll inform you that it has been spiritually trying, as well. All of that is true. The other perspective is also true: that it has been the most enriching, nourishing, wonderful 2 years of my life. I have been led to search my heart and search out God as never before. He has rescued me and restored me, and all the while taken great care of me, blessing me with a relationship with Him that far outweighs anything we could see in this physical world. And physical blessings still persist, as well (simply consider that I’ve had a job the entire time, for starters).

So the worst 2 years of my life have been my best and favorite 2 years. I use the word “favorite” and immediately begin to remember the times of no trials and wonderful abounding blessings with no perceived difficulties—and I am drawn toward them immediately. Perhaps those are my “favorite.” But then again I consider that I could not and would not choose to go back there, for it would take me away from my current relationship with God to a place farther from Him. Easier in the flesh, but devastating to the soul. These are things that I could only see after the fact, and I see them now.

Maybe we shouldn’t lament our circumstances so much, when you think of the alternative “easy life.” If you’re experiencing the “easy life,” thank God right now. Give Him the glory, live for Him through it, let it be your witness, making you even more keenly aware of His presence, instead of numbing you to it. But also realize that great transformation of individuals and of mass civilizations has come through great trial…great trial that purges evil, sets believers faces on God, and demonstrates all the perfect love and grace that is our perfect God.

Spiritual Sponges

Read the May 16 “My Utmost for His Highest,” and see if it doesn’t convict you:
http://www.myutmost.org/05/0516.html

Excerpt:
“What does it matter if external circumstances are hard? Why should they not be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we banish God's riches from our own lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it obliterates God and puts self-interest upon the throne. It opens our mouths to spit out murmurings and our lives become craving spiritual sponges, there is nothing lovely or generous about them.”

This whole thing gets to me, but the imagery of being a craving spiritual sponge really hits me. It is good to become a spiritual sponge…at first. Better to be a sponge than a slab of stone that will not retain any word from God, has no capacity to, and doesn’t want to. The first step is probably to become that craving spiritual sponge. I’ve seen it in new believers, including myself, and it’s beautiful—we realize how dry we are and want to absorb so much!

But we cannot stay there, can we? O.C. says this is the opposite of “lovely or generous,” and I believe he is speaking of the pouring out of the Spirit that was given to us on others. First we are filled, then we become instruments to fill others. God does the filling, but we are instruments in His hands—simply because it pleases Him to have such a oneness by working together with a “like mind” in this way.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose." - Philippians 2:1-2

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." - Jesus in John 17:20-26

He doesn’t need us, but His chosen way is to use us because He loves us and it builds intimacy with Him. Perhaps we are most like Him when we in turn share with others what has been shared with us—knowing Christ. What greater gift could God offer, but to beckon us to share even in the slightest of ways something that is like Him—perfect God?! No wonder a God who loves perfectly and “knows how to give good gifts” chooses for us to share with Him in sharing with others (Matt 7:11, Luke 11:13).

Perhaps we are still sponges. Sponges that are so saturated with God that we begin to drip and overflow—as we continue to be filled, we continue to overflow into others so that they might be filled (Luke 6:45, Romans 15:13, 2 Cor 4:15, 9:12, Col 2:7, 1 Thess 3:12, and more). If we are a “craving spiritual sponge,” then we only take—we would not be filled to capacity and cannot flow outwardly. I don’t have any special prescription on how to begin to overflow, other than to know that the Bible speaks volumes about it—it is everywhere—recognition of Jesus as Savior, receiving of grace and the Holy Spirit, and complete surrender to God. We never stop being sponges, but we must look both to receive and to immediately give in spiritual things.

The Faith to Persevere

From "My Utmost for His Highest," May 8:

"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says - "I cannot stand any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of patience just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."

Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.

God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence in Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvellous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power." - Oswald Chambers

I am especially drawn to the first paragraph--what a wonderful example of an archer with the bow and arrow. God as our archer and us as the arrow. Should the arrow choose where to shoot and at what angle? No, only the archer can see the target and has the skill to direct the capable arrow where it needs to be. What a great picture of part of our relationship with God.

In reaction to the thought that we might resist saying, "I cannot stand anymore," we might be inspired to hold on a little longer, to learn a deeper patience and faith in God. I hope that is your reaction! But within that, beware the part of your reaction that says, "yes, I can wait a little longer for that thing I want, the thing I've been waiting for and may give up on." That could be what God has planned, but more likely, as O.C. mentions, "the saint cannot see" what God is aiming for until He hits the target. Take this opportunity to decide to have more patience, to grow your faith, to stick it out longer...not for the things that you can see that you want to be patient for, but for the things that you cannot see. This is the true patience and faith that I believe O.C. is focusing on here. Patience for something we see and desire right now is a good thing, but patience and faith that says that we will wait on God and follow His perfect aim, knowing that we cannot see what He aims us for, abandoning all that we might aim for ourselves--that is a righteous faith and patience that leads to joy in knowing our loving God and celebrating His perfection. When we let Him, He lets fly of a strong and true arrow of Christianity with the truest aim and with the greatest impact.

INSIGHT, NOT EMOTION

My Utmost For His Highest, May 1 - by Oswald Chambers:

"I have to lead my life in faith, without seeing Him." 2 Corinthians 5:7 (MOFFATT)

For a time we are conscious of God's attentions, then, when God begins to use us in His enterprises, we take on a pathetic look and talk of the trials and the difficulties, and all the time God is trying to make us do our duty as obscure people. None of us would be obscure spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our duty when God has shut up heaven? Some of us always want to be illuminated saints with golden haloes and the flush of inspiration, and to have the saints of God dealing with us all the time. A gilt-edged saint is no good, he is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and altogether unlike God. We are here as men and women, not as half-fledged angels, to do the work of the world, and to do it with an infinitely greater power to stand the turmoil because we have been born from above.

If we try to re-introduce the rare moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are making a fetish of the moments when God did come and speak, and insisting that He must do it again; whereas what God wants us to do is to "walk by faith." How many of us have laid ourselves by, as it were, and said - "I cannot do any more until God appears to me." He never will, and without any inspiration, without any sudden touch of God, we will have to get up. Then comes the surprise - "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!" Never live for the rare moments, they are surprises. God will give us touches of inspiration when He sees we are not in danger of being led away by them. We must never make our moments of inspiration our standard; our standard is our duty.

Going too far?

In the Apr 26 devotional of “My Utmost for His Highest,” by Oswald Chambers, he references Abraham, among others, and his obedience to the point of sacrificing his own son with his own hands (http://www.myutmost.org/04/0426.html). Wow, what an amazing commitment to God. When you hear this story, I’ll bet you react somewhat similarly to me: “I wonder if I would have that kind of obedience.” I have always looked at that story as an inspiration and example of how to give up everything to God, and God’s blessing through it. I think that is good and true. But O.C. mentioned something that absolutely floored me: “Abraham was not a devotee of his convictions, or he would have slain Isaac and said that the voice of the angel was the voice of the devil.” Whoa. I instantly realized that I just might have slain Isaac. With the struggle of obedience, I never considered the other side: selling out to your convictions without continually checking them with and listening to God. A devotee to the conviction, instead of a devotee to God. I heard a preacher give a great example once…he said that following God is like riding a horse. God wants you balanced and on the horse. Satan wants you to fall off that horse, and he doesn’t care which way you fall. The point is that in almost every circumstance, we can fall to either side of God’s path. If we commit to obedience and convictions and passions to the point that our commitment is more to the specific convictions than to God who provides them, then we may severely miss out on the glory of God and what He is doing. This devotional has alerted me to take leaps of faith, obey with self-abandon, and follow the passion God places in me—but not to get so focused on the individual leap, obedience, and passion that I fail to hear God’s voice that never ceases to speak and guide me. Otherwise, I might call it the “voice of the devil” and murder the blessing that God wants to give me. Why would I think that God would stop communicating with me after I respond to a strong conviction? Likely, the opposite is true, so our ears must be continually open to Him.

This was so convicting to me…and I love it!

Experiencing God - Dying to Self

Recently, I was reading "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, a daily devotional. In the Apr 21 devotional, titled "Don't Hurt the Lord," a few lines really jumped out and convicted me... (http://myutmost.org/04/0421.html)

In talking about our expectations of how God will move in our lives and reveal Himself to us and others, he says, "Other people see the manifestation, the child of God does not. We want to be conscious of God; we cannot be conscious of our consciousness and remain sane."

That is a very deep statement, but after reading it several times and thinking about it, I thought that it might be easiest to relate to the statement with the concept of humility. I've been known to offer the following as a joke: "I am the most humble person I know." I hope you can laugh with me as you realize how contradictory that statement is! But in context of O.C.'s statement above, we need to be conscious of humility, yet not conscious of our consciousness. What I mean is this: the thought should be “I want to be humble in this situation,” not “I know I am being humble in this situation.” Or better yet, just being humble without calling it humble ourselves…doing it naturally without humility being the goal. When you take the thought to the point of calling yourself humble, you are praising yourself and being less humble than you first intended. I wonder if that is the difference between being conscious of something and being conscious of our consciousness of something?

The most convicting statement in that devotional, though, was the following: "If we are asking God to give us experiences, or if conscious experience is in the road, we hurt the Lord."

I often want God to use me, and I ask Him to do so. But how often do we ask with the expectation that we might be used and be ok with never even knowing it? Don’t we usually conceptualize being used by God as some great and wonderful thing—not only for God and for others, but that we might experience it ourselves as we do His work? This may be the way God rewards us most of the time, but how utterly selfless is the request that we might be used by God, while being fully receptive to never even getting to experience it or even knowing it? Think about it: even in my most selfless requests to God for Him to use me in any way that He sees fit, with no regard to my own circumstances or personal desires, even then I almost always have at least a hint of selfishness…because I expect to see the work I am doing for Him, and I expect to be fulfilled by that. Now, it is true that in almost every circumstance those who have utterly sold-out to God and serving Him have had the greatest sense of fulfillment of any men…but that is inconsequential for our requests—it cannot be the motivation, or even the “kicker” that we perceive as good because of personal gain. What if we could place ourselves in such a selfless place that we would be willing to serve God in anything and everything that we do, trusting that He is doing His great things through our work, yet having absolutely no awareness to the good that is coming of it? What if we learned to become so selfless that we would commit to being a tool for God even if we never saw an ounce of fulfillment and success in our work for Him—if our only solace was our trust that He was doing things unseen to us, according to His promises? Wow, I can tell you that I don’t yet know how to make myself that selfless…but I sure would like to work toward it. It sounds grim, it sounds absolutely hard…but I know it is an attitude pleasing to God. And I do know that He loves me so much that He will allow me to share His joy and the fruits of the Spirit He places inside of me—but the struggle is to rid myself of those things as motivation and commit to Him because it is right, simple as that.

For those of us who are young in our faith, dying to self is extremely hard to do, or to even fully comprehend what it means. Jesus says in John 12:24-26, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." Furthermore, Paul says in Galations 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (More in Luke 9:23-25, Mark 8:34-36, Matt 16:24-26)

After you have started dying to worldly desires and sins, then begin to die to your own expectations of the future, then begin to die to what you might do any given day, then begin to die to everything else—there is often something that remains that should die. Even if we have died to self in all other ways and given our lives as service and sacrifice to God (which is a big if, in of itself), for many of us, including myself, there is an expectation of fulfillment through that. That somehow the experience will be fulfilling in of itself. But the very last part of us that we can give up is the expectation that through all of it, every good thing, we might not require such an experience, such a fulfillment…that we might be content to obey God in pure servanthood—that although God doesn’t usually deprive us of the rich joy that comes in serving Him and sharing in His sufferings, we would be willing to commit to Him even if it did require that depravation of joy—wouldn’t that be ultimately dying to self completely? That is what I am trying to communicate, what I know I will likely never comprehend or fully realize as a human on this earth, but what I would like to work toward. There is some comfort here: we know as we serve God and commit our lives to Him, He sends the Holy Spirit and the fruits of that Spirit are a wonderful experience: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galations 5:22-23). And the best news of all: Heaven awaits! Until then, I would like to learn how to embrace this attitude a little bit more every day.