Acknowledging the Inner Conflict – Time with God

I try in my best moments to read the Bible and pray every day as much as possible. The measure of how well I actually accomplish this is not the point of the discussion—if I never keep this commitment, it may seem as though what I’m about to write cannot come from such a person, but of course it can, for I have been that man…if I always keep this commitment, it may appear that what I’m about to describe is not as big of a deal for me as it sounds, but of course it is (though, I have yet live up to “always”). The point is that wherever I am on the spectrum of keeping this daily commitment, the inner conflict is true, and I think recognizing the conflict is a key and powerful step to overcoming it, fighting the Devil head on, and running to God.

My favorite time of any day when I have taken some time to spend with God in prayer and sincere consideration of His Word, whether briefly or for an extended period of time, is the time spent in the Word and prayer, without exception. I find this spectacular. And knowing this, you would think that I would look forward every day to engaging in this relationship time with God. Though at times it is my inspiration and number one priority throughout a day, more often I actually become hesitant to begin or “launch in,” even when I’ve been looking forward to it. And this is almost without fail, as well. At first I didn’t understand it. If I know what an amazing blessing this time of prayer and revelation through the Scripture is to me every single time, how could I start to debate with myself (or with God, perhaps) before starting most days? “Well, I’m tired,” or “I’m too busy,” or "I just want to relax.” But then I remembered Paul’s and Peter’s words about the flesh and the Spirit warring against each other and recognized the battlefield in my mind—yes, the war of Good and Evil in my very own mind and likely in yours, as well.

Gal 5:17 – “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”

1 Pet 2:11 – “Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul,”

Romans 7:21-25 - “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (read v. 14-26 for even more depth in Paul’s communication)

At this point, we become better equipped to “fight the good fight” (1 Tim 1:18, 1 Tim 6:12, 2 Tim 4:7) that is ultimately spiritual in nature by gearing up with God:

Eph 6:11-13 – “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (for more on the armor of God, read Eph 6:10-20)

I relate this fight to the following example:

There is an elementary concept in chemistry called “activation energy.” Simply put, it is the minimum energy input required to induce a given chemical reaction. It’s almost like an investment—you put money in a good investment, then you get even more back. Many chemical reactions take an initial “boost” of energy, then the kinetics and thermodynamics take over and the reaction goes without any more added energy. I have found this concept extremely relevant to everyday life since it was introduced to me in high school and more deeply examined in college. And my personal prayer and Bible study life is no exception. It’s like if I’ll just provide the initial spark, or activation energy, to get the Bible study or prayer time with God started, then He takes over with no more energy input from me…and this chemistry is very energetic! But the Devil would have me say, “I know how much time and energy and focus that would take tonight, and I don’t feel like it tonight.” Ah yes, from the outside looking in it always appears that way—always. Before you approach God in prayer it will feel like you have a great distance to go…for until you are willing to take the slightest of steps to inch towards God, you have no idea He is right there on your hip, at your side—and get this, even inside you right now.

1 Cor 3:16 – “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” (see also 1 Cor 6:19, Romans 8:9)

We only activate the spiritual reaction by turning our hearts and minds towards Him and suddenly we realize He was there all along. And guess what? Do you know that there is no greater peaceful and restful time of the day for me? Now, I may be absolutely mentally engaged (which I love when I have the energy) and praying with all my spiritual, emotional, and physical might…I may be expending tremendous energy and focus and even time…yet I am never more peaceful and actually restful than in this time near God. That is a paradox to the physical man (which includes you and me), for it is only realized through the Holy Spirit, whom we know is “with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matt 28:20). Only with God could a time of intense energy and focus be restful and peaceful—this is an inkling of a supernatural movement in us, and it is available to each and every one who comes to God in sincere prayer or Bible study.

I encourage you, whatever you feel like to this point in the day or to the point where you are having that argument with yourself or even God on whether or not you will engage in prayer or Bible study—take a leap of faith and just “launch in.” Make yourself focus with all you have for just 5 minutes and just see what kind of a reaction the Holy Spirit will have within you. After all, we played the smaller part, only the activation energy—yet it was critical for the entire process to even take place. I think this applies to much of our relationships with God—He requires so little—mostly just acknowledgement of Him as God and Jesus His Son who by human death has pardoned our terrible sin in order to bring us to oneness with Him in Heaven and on earth in love—we just acknowledge Him and this as truth, and the rest is His work. Along the way, our gratitude makes us want to do more than just acknowledge Him—we begin to want to serve Him, to learn to love Him, whatever that means or looks like, and again we approach Him with the simple desire and He does the greater movement—He brings the Holy Spirit, God Himself, within us and renews a heart we could not renew and places such opportunities in front of us to love Him with growing love, as “He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Embrace this passion and it will change you forever...for the good. I have 100% confidence in this, and you can, too. If you have not accepted Christ, I encourage you to sincerely consider Him today—seek Him out, find out more about Him, find someone who knows Him and cares about you, and give Jesus a shot with you. If you already know Christ, simply dedicate yourself entirely to Him for 5 minutes today…just 5 minutes…all of you, entirely His, and see if He does not come right to you and give you a “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4:6-7). In time, you’ll begin to notice that the new Resident within you has some glorious plans for His new home—You, God, and even those around you will be pleased with the renovation. We can simply break the ground with a shovel full of dirt, and God tears down the old house that was our sinful selves, building a new one of great splendor that is eternal. Amen.

The Best for the Journey

Imagine you have a son who is 18 years old. You have plans to buy him a reliable car that is also extremely pleasing to him in every way—aesthetically, performance, interior, reliable, easy to maintain, fuel efficient. Now you’re on your way to go get the car that you have picked out for him, and let’s say that you actually know what you’re doing and have picked out the best car possible for him in every way. On the way there, your son sees a bright red (his favorite color on a car) sporty-type car for sale and points it out in exclamation. That’s the car he wants! “Dad, can we get it please?!” You say no, but he insists that you at least take a look. Knowing better, but seeing that he won’t appreciate anything until he is appeased, you go to look at the inferior car…plus, if he’s listened to you growing up, he’ll see what you see anyway, right? It actually looks pretty good, especially from a distance. You notice some exterior inconsistencies, but you’re really concerned about what’s under the hood. This car has 99,000 miles on it. Being a car guy (and since this is hypothetical), you know that the engine on this model breaks down within the first 105,000 miles without exception, most within 100,000 miles. Incidentally, your son is about to set out across the nation and back on a road trip with trusted friends, driving the car you pick out today. That’s a 6,000 mile trip, so you’re guaranteed that this thing is going to break down, and as Murphy’s law would have it, it would probably be on the opposite end of the country. You know this, your son doesn’t. Well, he’s in love. He wants this car. But you say, “no.” He doesn’t understand, but you tell him that you have something better, so much better in mind for him. He doesn’t believe you, or maybe he does, but he’s too mad to admit it. Why couldn’t that dealership be next door?—then he’d only be mad for a couple seconds. Oh, but the drive to the next town over, 50 miles away, is grueling. You hardly talk. In fact, you find your son’s behavior and comments toward you so repulsive, you wonder if you should even buy a car at all! Perhaps cancel his trip! But then, you have patience and understanding, and you continue on your journey with your son.

At last you arrive at the dealership. There she is—bright red, sleek and smooth, excellent condition coupe with only a few miles and a wonderful interior…and under the hood, the most reliable and powerful, fuel efficient engine in its class. Your son is in heaven. “Thank you, Dad!” You both share smiles and he’s almost in tears (not that he’d admit it). He says to you, “Wow, Dad…I had no idea what you had planned for me…I couldn’t have imagined…I can’t believe I fought you over this!”

And that, my friends, is a great picture of us with our Heavenly Father. He, the all-knowing, all-loving, all-patient Father who is looking out for us, doing “infinitely more than we dare to ask or hope for.” (Eph 3:20) He “know[s] the plans [He] has for you, plans for good and not to harm you.” (Jer 29:11) Will we trust Him today? Will we patiently endure the seemingly infinitely long journey to his chosen blessings for us, realizing that they aren’t so long after all? Will we at least ask Him, when we’ve picked out for ourselves what we want in our lives? Will we yield when He says, “no,” and begin to realize that it’s not just for His good, but for ours?! Finally, will we recognize Him as our protector and provider when we have at last received the next reward? I sincerely hope so. That is my prayer for you and myself. Amen.

The Spirit Manifested: Belief and Discernment at Once

1 John 4:1-3 – “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.”

1 Corinthians 12:3 - "Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit."

God’s Holy Spirit needs no embellishment. The Holy Spirit is God and God has never needed human embellishment, only obedience and confession of the Source. For those of us who have experienced such a raw, amazing touch of the supernatural, we can easily stray when we embellish His natural moving. It is right and good to rejoice in His presence…a rejoicing not understandable outside the Spirit, especially when expressed physically, and when prophecy and healing are added, you begin to see further physical manifestation of the glorious Holy Spirit. But you’ll know exactly where you are embellishing the Spirit and where you are simply moved by Him. There is a distinct difference. Movement of the Spirit inspires others of the same Spirit to join in worship—to rejoice in rejoicing and mourn in mourning (Rom 12:15). Human embellishment beyond the Spirit’s leading only distracts, moving focus to the individual, and for those whose gift of discernment is still developing and especially those who are natural skeptics—the embellisher will deter the Spirit’s pure leading in them. Additionally, for your own sakes, please remember Moses (Numbers 20:1-13)! God commanded Him to speak to the rock and it would flow water to drink--but Moses struck the rock with his staff. God still moved in a miraculous way, but Moses forfeited entry into the promised land because of His embellishment! Moses is certainly in Heaven now, and God moved even in His imperfection, but woe to us who embellish on God's commands.

Now for the discerners and skeptics—take note of this valuable lesson: there are false spirits and there is real supernatural movement of the Holy Spirit on this earth—I have encountered both. We are to test these spirits to know their origin, and here’s the big lesson recently imparted to me: just because you have discerned that the individual claiming to be Spirit filled is being somewhat counterfeit and embellishing, it does not mean that the Spirit is not with them! Firstly, we are imperfect human beings with imperfect discernment at times—so let’s not be so quick to judge by our own human sight, and instead trust the Holy Spirit inside of us. And additionally, those filled with physical manifestation of the Spirit are imperfect humans, as well, so it is possible to share the Spirit imperfectly at times…but still sharing, nonetheless, and God will use us. So in this circumstance a true prophetic word or other gift of the Spirit may very well be shared despite the error of embellishment. Open your mind to this possibility and breathe in the peace of confusion lifted.

This is a warning for correction to the Spirit filled in order to help fulfill your rich purpose by remaining true to the Spirit's genuine leading, and a word of encouragement to the natural “doubting Thomas.” We can come together through such realizations, sharing our gifts and the Holy Spirit more freely, more purely, and giving the most glory to our God.

SIGNS OF THE NEW BIRTH

Fantastic. "My Utmost for His Highest," Aug 15, by Oswald Chambers:

SIGNS OF THE NEW BIRTH
"Ye must be born again." John 3:7

The answer to the question "How can a man be born when he is old?" is - When he is old enough to die - to die right out to his "rag rights," to his virtues, to his religion, to everything, and to receive into himself the life which never was there before. The new life manifests itself in conscious repentance and unconscious holiness.

"As many as received Him." (John 1:12.) Is my knowledge of Jesus born of internal spiritual perception, or is it only what I have learned by listening to others? Have I something in my life that connects me with the Lord Jesus as my personal Saviour? All spiritual history must have a personal knowledge for its bedrock. To be born again means that I see Jesus.

"Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3.) Do I seek for signs of the Kingdom, or do I perceive God's rule? The new birth gives a new power of vision whereby I begin to discern God's rule. His rule was there all the time, but true to His nature; now that I have received His nature I can see His rule.

"Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin." (1 John 3:9.) Do I seek to stop sinning or have I stopped sinning? To be born of God means that I have the supernatural power of God to stop sinning. In the Bible it is never - Should a Christian sin? The Bible puts it emphatically - A Christian must not sin. The effective working of the new birth life in us is that we do not commit sin, not merely that we have the power not to sin, but that we have stopped sinning. 1 John 3:9 does not mean that we cannot sin; it means that if we obey the life of God in us, we need not sin.

A Psalm to My God

"I feel so alone. Yet I am not alone. Lord, You turn loneliness into inspiration for action. I feel helpless, but I am not. I am more than helped—by my Father I am carried when I cannot stand and watched with joy when I can.

Is my life purpose not to abide in God? It is. To be one with Him, that is all. Everything else falls out from that. To be one with you, Lord, is to love. To be one with You is to be saved from sin. To be one with You is to hear the Spirit and act. To be one with You is contentment when there is not another soul to comfort me and when there is no immediate call to action.

To be one with you, Lord, is to have knowledge of You, which is Your Word. To be one is to grieve when You grieve, burning with passion for the lost and helpless. To be one is to be moved to the core, and to be one is to be content when there is no experience of inner movement to speak of.

Simply put, to be one with you, Lord, is to be content in all situations, not by indifference or ignorance, but by the peace of Your presence.

Your presence, my God, is felt differently in me every day. I cannot demand to feel You in one way or another—for You are already there. Instead, I must ask to have my eyes opened to Your presence this very moment. When I receive You in this attitude, I know what awaits me: receiving and experiencing that which I did not know in the moments beforehand. If I do not know contentment in this moment, Your movement, Lord, is peace. If I do not know direction, Your movement will be wisdom. If I do not feel fully alive, Your movement will be passion and conviction. If I do not know freedom, Your movement will be salvation. If I do not know truth, Your movement will be knowledge and discernment. If I do not know confidence, Your movement will be strength. If I do not know happiness, Your movement will be joy.

Your movement is exactly what I lack in this very moment. I will seek Your face, Lord, and receive what I most need—none greater than Your very presence.

When inspiration fades, what do I do? When disappointment and setback strike, what do I do? When I fall into a directionless wondering, what do I do? When there is no experiential sensation, what do I do? When I am tired and rejected and lonely and dying inside, what do I do? When I have no vision for what is immediately next, much less what I must do in the future, what do I do?

I will step into Your presence and come boldly before Your throne in prayer. I will do whatever I have to do in that very moment to bring my gaze squarely and intently on You, my God. I will do it and let nothing get in the way. Your presence beckons me, and I’ve found that You were there all the time…and I do not beckon Your presence so much as Your presence beckons me and I simply open to You. I am yours, my Lord, and only Your presence will sustain me. Amen.”

"Love your neighbor as yourself." An Inconvenient Conviction

Think about Jesus' statement: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt 10:31) It can only be meaningful if the love of ourselves is quite extensive. If we did not love ourselves, then the command would be to not love others, or love them only so much, only as much as we love ourselves. However, I believe the truth is that for the vast majority of us, we have a supreme love for ourselves, to the extent that it is difficult to approach a place where we would love our neighbor so much. A spouse, sibling, parents, children, etc…maybe…I hope so, but look around: even this is only a maybe. But our neighbor—beyond our family—to love them like we love ourselves.

So how much do we love ourselves and how do we show it? Many, many ways, that start with thoughts of ourselves and end in actions. But let’s look at money, for an example. The first step financially as obedient Christ followers is to do our bare minimum duty of tithing 10% (Deut 14:22-29, Lev 14:30-31, Mal 3:8-10).

Mal 3:8-10 – “"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”"

If we obediently tithe, that leaves 90% for us. Most of us would feel good about that, and this obedience does feel good, especially since God rewards that faithfulness—look at v. 10 above. This is the only part of the Bible that I know of where God actually says to test Him. So what if you give an additional 10%? Now you’re giving 20% total, and we’re feeling really good about ourselves. But we’re still spending 80% on ourselves, family members, or saving for us. So what would loving your neighbor as yourself look like with finances? I think if I love my neighbor truly as myself, I would split my income 50/50 and give half of it away to those in need. Wow, what an inconvenient conviction.

But hold on: is that the extent of it? Let’s re-examine how we were loving ourselves: giving 10% and keeping 90%. Hmmm…so loving ourselves resulted in spending 90% on ourselves. So loving others at that level might actually be sharing 90% of our wealth and keeping only 10% for ourselves. Now that seems like a near impossibility for this self-loving man.

2 Cor 9:7 – “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

God loves a cheerful giver, and giving begrudgingly hardly meets both the action and intention of the heart that so pleases God. So I encourage you to find a way to give the maximum you can as a cheerful giver. If that’s 0%, then we’ve got some praying to do. Think about this: the tithe is an Old Testament law. Now realize that Jesus said, "I did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (Matt 5:17) In the same passage (the Sermon on the Mount), he describes several laws and broadens their application beyond strict legalistic obedience and into our very hearts. Meaning that Jesus came to fulfill both action and intent of the law, which is supreme Love. I think we can apply this easily to tithing and come to understand being a "cheerful giver" through the law being fulfilled by love. So let’s pray together that we would take on the heart to give in love, have the opportunities visible to our sight, and be able to do it joyfully. I long to be able to love my neighbor so joyfully, so fruitfully, so selflessly. I long to love the way Jesus invites us to, the way He loves us. No matter what we do with our finances, let’s look for every opportunity to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Jesus also said, “As I have loved you, so you must also love one another” (John 13:34). Jesus’ love was a perfect love, self-sacrificing to the point of grueling death that you and I might have the chance to be saved…the chance, not even the guarantee, that we would choose to be saved by believing in Him. So after we begin to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, let’s embark on learning to love them as God loves us. This is just the slightest glimpse at how deep God’s love is for us and how much we have to grow. Thank the Lord that He is with us to do the growing, if we’ll only ask Him with a sincere heart. Amen.