Patience and Lust: An Unexpected Conviction

A person that I respect was recently making a good point when he said, “Satan is patient. He will wait to strike at the right moment. We must be on our guard.” The message behind his point was accurate and good for edifying the group. However, a few days later, I find matching the word “patient” with Satan difficult.

We know that patience is a fruit of the Spirit (1). We know that Satan is not of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, we must be using the same word, “patient,” to describe two different things. Or the word “patient,” as we are accustomed to defining and accepting it, does not carry the full meaning of the fruit of the Spirit that is manifested in patience, as identified in the Bible.

When we think of the word patient, we usually think of the ability to wait, to delay gratification. To desire something currently unfulfilled or unattained, but to wait in doing so, and without grumbling. Someone says to us, “be patient,” and we say, “yes, I must be patient,” as our chest tightens and we count the seconds and minutes that pass, determined to be silent and show the outward appearance of patience. We traded true patience for an appearance of patience, and though we may have fooled the other person (and likely not), we have not practiced true patience whatsoever. Authentic patience of the Spirit goes much deeper, much purer, to the core of our will.

And that’s just it: patience is a matter of our will. In order to better grasp the depth of patience of the Spirit, it is useful to examine its opposite: impatience. What defines impatience? The idea that I must have something…a feeling, an object, a task completed, a destination reached, etc…and that I must have it sooner than I am receiving it. I submit the following previously unimaginable truth: impatience is lust. Consider the definition of lust as astutely noted by Oswald Chambers:

“Lust means – I must have it at once. Spiritual lust makes me demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Who gives the answer.” (“My Utmost For His Highest,” Feb 7)

Wow, to think that lust would even penetrate into our Spiritual lives! Oh, but it is true, isn’t it? We usually conceive of lust as a purely sexual term…that is it’s most common and accepted application, though less commonly we will see it used as an extreme desire for something such as power (i.e. “a lust for power”). It is the idea of desiring something outside of an appropriate means, and I find perhaps no better definition offered than, “I must have it at once,” whatever “it” may be; and this happens to define impatience, as well. Therefore, interestingly, impatience…is lust. Impatience just got a whole lot uglier in my perception, and I am personally convicted.

What are you pursuing today? Is it marriage or family? A job? Success? Perhaps the Lord Himself or His blessing? An answer to prayer? Is there any hint of impatience in you, concerning that desire? I know that it is hard to admit that the lust of impatience could widely permeate so many spheres of our lives. But realize this truth: conviction is not the presence of guilt for the regenerated in Christ, it is the proof of the presence of the Holy Spirit and His sanctifying action within us. So do not suppress conviction, embrace it! The ignorant would call you out in guilt for your conviction—nonsense! I contend that your conviction is the gateway from guilt into the grace of Christ. How could we repent if we were not convicted? How could we call on our Savior if we do not repent? How can we be saved if we do not know our Savior? Therefore, conviction is a glorious and holy thing. I encourage you to embrace it and let Him run His full course in your heart and soul.

So as we receive the Spirit and fruit of patience, let’s not stop at merely waiting for a specific desirable outcome to materialize. Even Satan does that as he lies in wait to devour the lost and vulnerable, as a prowling lion (2). No, let’s begin to practice patience in the Spirit by setting aside our wills. Any form of patience that ends short of sacrificing my will to God is incomplete. Let us “work out our salvation (3),” that has been granted to the regenerated in Christ, and become valiantly, humbly patient. May our Father God and the Holy Spirit breathe patience into your soul this day, conquering the lust that seeks to ensnare us, for we are “more than conquerors through...Christ Jesus our Lord (4).” Amen.

1 – Gal 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
2 – 1 Peter 5:8 – “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
3 – Philippians 2:12-13 – “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
4 – Romans 8:37-39 – “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The Pain and Glory of Waiting on the Lord

“Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34And He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept.” – John 11:32-35

If you read through the Bible, especially the Psalms, you will find the following phrase (or similar) written a multitude of times: “Wait on the Lord.” It is interesting that this message had to be conveyed so clearly so many times. When you think about raising and disciplining children, you know that there are some commands that need only be given once and others that need repeating over and over. The most difficult commands to obey are the ones that need repeating over and over, and I believe this is true with us as God’s children and His repeated commands to “Wait on the Lord.” Let’s consider that with sincerity today and set our hearts and minds to obey at last.

This very morning I received an email newsletter from Global Media Outreach (www.GodLife.com). It was uncanny how its message was tailor made for me this morning, and perhaps for you, too. The message was about having dreams in life and having to wait for them, entitled “The Key to Living Your Dream Life.” Even the best, God-ordained dreams. Yet having to wait, and what effective waiting looks like. An excerpt from the newsletter:

“Abraham waited decades to have a baby; Moses had to endure Pharoah’s intimidation and 10 plagues until God’s people were released; and David had to run for years in the wilderness until he was made king. These are just a few examples! But the greatest wait in the Bible was for Jesus, the Messiah. God promised Him thousands of years in advance, and only a few were still waiting for Him when He finally came…

…Waiting isn’t glamorous. In fact, it’s really hard. But it’s the key to obtaining your promise from God. Maybe He has promised you healing, maybe a great marriage, or maybe your kids serving the Lord. Whatever it is, it’s going to take patience. That’s just the way God is. He uses the waiting period to make us better, to make us ready for the promise. “Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the LORD tested Joseph's character” (Psalm 105:19).”

The verse from Psalm 105 about Joseph’s character being tested and perfected while he was waiting helps me to understand part of the purpose for waiting. Furthermore, the story of Lazarus, Jesus’ friend and the brother of Mary and Martha, illustrates a supreme example of waiting (read John 11 for the full story). Jesus received word of Lazarus’ illness in time to come heal him and save him from death. Yet, inexplicably to those around Him, Jesus waited two days before coming to see Lazarus. Why would he wait? Did he want to wait or was He fighting His flesh in order to obey the Lord? I believe that the fact that Jesus wept upon hearing of Lazarus’ death and seeing such deep grief in Mary and Martha, whom He loved deeply, is proof enough that it was not easy for Jesus to wait and let Lazarus die. What restraint our Savior showed! And, what love! If you know the rest of the story, you can see that this was a supreme act of obedience to the Father in His perfect sovereignty, and an obedience centered in love, for the best possible outcome of this scenario was for Lazarus to die. This is because Jesus then brought Lazarus back to life.

There were many implications from this. First, those who immediately surrounded Jesus at this time, including the disciples and Lazarus’ family, saw firsthand a greater power through Jesus than others had comprehended previously. No one had been dead four days and risen again. Secondly, the news spread throughout the region, such that the faith of others was increased in Jesus as the Son of God. Thirdly, it was the turning point to drive the evil religious leaders to the point of executing Jesus, the purpose of His ministry. Fourthly, it showed that Jesus could not only raise Himself from the dead (He is God afterall), but that He had power and authority to raise any and all people from the dead, according to the Father’s will.

Each of these things came forth from Jesus obeying His Father’s command to “wait on the Lord.” Where are you hearing the still, small voice of God telling you, “Wait on the Lord?” Pay attention to the timing of circumstances in your life and coming across those words while reading the Bible. I assure you that they were meant just for you, as they are meant just for me, as well. Lazarus’ death and resurrection by Jesus marked a turning point in Jesus’ ministry, turning His path to the cross, gloriously fulfilling His purpose on this earth. Turning points in your life and mine will often come the same way—through waiting. Let’s be vigilant to obey the Lord and wait for Him at all times.

So what can we expect while we are waiting and what is the expected outcome? Firstly, pain. If we look at the example of Jesus and Lazarus, it is clear that Jesus experienced the pain of loss and hurting loved ones as a direct result of His waiting. Waiting will be the hard choice, it will hurt you personally, and it often times will hurt those you love most. Furthermore, there may be times when you are waiting on the Lord and no one else understands. This was Jesus’ experience. Do you think that you are experiencing something that Jesus cannot identify with? Certainly not. Jesus understands what it is to wait, the pain in the consequences of waiting, and He understands when no one else does. I emplore you to cry out to Him in your distress, and the God of all comfort will be with you.

But there is more to expect while waiting on the Lord. First, your character will be sharpened, and likely the character of those in relationship with Jesus who are impacted by your obedience will be sharpened, as well (Psalm 105:19). Second, the glory of the Lord will be revealed in time. For Jesus, waiting produced a more glorious display of the character of God, revealed more clearly the simultaneous humanity and deity of Jesus Christ, and brought many more believers in addition to building the faith of those who already believed in Jesus as the Christ and Son of God. These very things will be true in our lives if we will “wait on the Lord.” I pray that you realize the certainty of this promise, that you read God’s Word and hear His still, small voice concerning waiting on Him, that you open your heart to receive the comfort and understanding from Jesus Christ Himself, and that you receive the full glorious blessing that comes from such sweet, abandoned obedience. May God work such miracles in your life this very day. Amen.

Guest Post: "We Have A _______ God"

In year two of iron sharpening iron on this blog, I thought it would be both appropriate and fun to have occasional guest posts. I was inspired to do this after an email conversation with a loved one yielded some inspiring thoughts that I wanted to share. So I asked that person to draft a "guest post" for this blog. I am pleased to bring you guest post #1:

We Have A _______ God

“Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Mark 8:34b

“Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.” Matthew 12:31, 32

“And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” Matthew 5:30

“And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou has smitten me these three times?” Number 22:28

“And it came to pass, as they were burying a man, that, behold, they spied a band of men; and they cast the man into the sepulcher of Elisha: and when the man was let down, and touched the bones of Elisha, he revived, and stood up on his feet.” II Kings 13:21


What do these five passages of Scripture have in common? They are just a handful of dozens of passages that are evidence of this:

We Have A Radical God

Usually, in this day and age, radical has a negative connotation, so let me hasten to say that the definition of radical here does not mean ridiculous or outrageous, but rather, intense or extreme. And it is meant in the most positive way. Our God, the God of the Bible, is extremely good, extremely loving, extremely brilliant, extremely powerful. And because of these wonderful qualities, His words and actions, while always perfect, are, on occasion, no less jolting.

Thank God we have a radical God. We are living in radical times: we have a radical economic crisis, we are seeing an increase in radical acts of nature (most recently, the earthquake and tsunami in Japan), and most tragic of all, a radical moral crisis where Judeo-Christian values are being thrown aside like so much dirty laundry.

None of this surprises our radical God. He saw it all coming hundreds of years ago and has warned us about it in His word, both Old and New Testament.

He has proven Himself over the centuries to handle the most radical of problems. There was the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, Noah and the Ark, the Resurrection of Jesus, just to name a few. These were boldly radical events, but there was a lot of quietly radical living that went on in between.

Think about Noah. We remember that it rained for forty days and forty nights and Noah and his family were kept safe on the Ark. But what led up to that? We know that he built the ark, according to the Lord’s command. For a hundred years. Measuring and sawing and hammering. For a hundred years. Quietly, radically, obeying the Lord.

What about Jesus? He lived between thirty-three and thirty-six years on this earth, but He spent the first thirty, with the brief exception of his time in the Temple when He was twelve, being quietly radical. I can only imagine that, at age twelve, Jesus was like a race horse, chomping at the bit, anxious to break out of the stall and burst on the scene. He was teeming with knowledge of and passion for His Heavenly Father. But His parents chided Him, because they had been searching for Him for days. So what did Jesus do?

“And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them….” Luke 2:51a

Quietly radical. For eighteen more years.

We, too, as Christians, will have many quietly radical days, and months, and years and probably just a few boldly radical moments.

We recently moved into a home that is much larger than our previous home. I was overwhelmed as how I was going to keep this house clean. But I prayed about it and the Lord gave me a basic plan that has proven very effective. I knew that, in order to be a good steward, I should take good care of the house, which of course involves keeping it clean. But I sensed that keeping the house clean had an even greater significance…it almost seemed like a godly assignment.

Still, I would have misgivings. I would watch the news and think “The world is going to hell in a hand basket, and I’m scrubbing toilets.” I wondered, “Shouldn’t I be doing something more significant?” But the conviction persisted: just keep doing what you’re doing.

Finally, the Lord’s vision for this house began to materialize: In December my husband and I hosted a meeting where a report on a mission trip with “As Our Own” was given. Then in March, we held a ladies mini-retreat for women from three different churches.

I have begun to understand that the Lord has some wonderfully radical things that He wants to do, but I must continue in quietly radical obedience until He is ready to do them.

In the cases of Noah, and Daniel, and even Jesus, (as well as many others) their quietly radical way of living led to boldly radical events that changed the world.

We may be tempted to think, “Well, I’m not a Noah or a Daniel, and I’m certainly not Jesus. What I do isn’t going to make a difference, one way or another.”

Have you ever had an ingrown toenail? An ingrown toenail can cause a great deal of pain. Pain usually distracts and can even be an energy drain. As your body compensates by favoring the foot with the pain, it can even throw your skeleton out of alignment, leading to knee, hip, and/or back problems.

So even if you think you are nothing more than a toenail in the body of Christ, what you do matters.

The day to day, seemingly mundane, living that we do as Christians are links to great things that our Lord wants to do. Every time we resist sin, every time we obey the instructions the Lord has given us in His Word, whether it be resisting gossip or resisting sexual temptation, wives choosing to reverence their husbands (yes, that’s in the Bible), being kind to neighbors, friends, and yes, enemies. These are part of a radical way of living that we call Christianity.

And it’s the way to be on the same page with our radical God.

Recognizing and Responding to the Call - Wisdom from Oswald Chambers

"My Utmost For His Highest," Jan 14(http://utmost.org/called-by-god/):

CALLED OF GOD
"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

God did not address the call to Isaiah; Isaiah overheard God saying, "Who will go for us?" The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God's call depends upon the state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition. "Many are called but few are chosen," that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, "Who will go for us?" It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, "Now, you go." God did not lay a strong compulsion on Isaiah; Isaiah was in the presence of God and he overheard the call, and realized that there was nothing else for him but to say, in conscious freedom, "Here am I, send me." Get out of your mind the idea of expecting God to come with compulsions and pleadings. When our Lord called His disciples there was no irresistible compulsion from outside. The quiet passionate insistence of His "Follow Me" was spoken to men with every power wide awake. If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we too shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect freedom will say, "Here am I; send me."

Pair this up with recent insight from previous days' "My Utmosts:"

"If we obey God, it is going to cost other people more than it costs us, and that is where the pain begins. If we are in love with our Lord, obedience does not cost us anything— it is a delight...
Beware of the inclination to dictate to God what consequences you would allow as a condition of your obedience to Him." - Jan 11

"We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error, and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Himself." - Jan 8

"He went out, not knowing where he was going —Hebrews 11:8

Have you ever “gone out” in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, “What do you expect to do?”You don’t know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to “go out” in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely...
Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do— He reveals to you who He is." - Jan 2

"There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait.

At first you may see clearly what God’s will is— the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, or something else you feel is distinctly God’s will for you to do. But never act on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise which will take years to untangle. Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move." - Jan 4

I'll admit, I don't have all this put together in my mind yet, either. I know to wait on God, for His timing is perfect. I also know to listen in the waiting and when I hear His still, small voice, to say "Here am I, send me!" I also know that it takes faith, beyond what is certain or logical, such that we will go out like Abraham, "not knowing where he was going." I know that we must count the cost, not just to ourselves to but to loved ones and those around us, and that any cost to us or others is no reason not to obey the call, but rather to prepare our hearts for His work. I know that although the call can bring sacrifice to others and myself, that the call is a delight, for we "Delight [our]selves in the Lord, and he will give [us] desires of [our] heart" (Psalm 37:4). I also know that I cannot dictate what consequences will be conditions of my obedience or what the call may be--but that obedience is our only condition.

The paragraph above is just a brief summary of the "My Utmosts" quoted above, and each is sound and in agreement with the Word. However, how do we apply each of those things correctly, such that we are not either over eager or too hesitant? Again, I'll admit that I'm still figuring it out, but I love to ponder these things and I hope you do, too. I think of it like this:

In the moments before the start of a horse race, each horse is in the gate with the rider poised for the start. But there is silence. Some horses stir a bit, getting anxious for the start--these often get poor starts. Some horses and riders are almost too relaxed or not on full alert, such that when the gate drops, there is a slight enough hesitation to put them in the back of the pack at the start. In any case, all horses and riders are ready to some extent, yet the gate has not been dropped.

Sometimes I think we need to have the attitude of the horse and rider behind the starting gate. We should not try to charge ahead while the gate is in place! We will be disqualified from that race and have to wait for the next one. By the same token, we should make sure we've gotten to the gate and in position, or the race will start without us. But I think we can be like that well-trained horse and rider, ready for the drop of the gate. Until the gate drops, until the Lord makes it clear without a doubt that we are to charge forward, we wait. Immediately upon dropping the gate, immediately upon picking up on that still, small voice, we go out with all we can muster, though we don't know what the race is going to look like--will my horse grab the lead or will I be last? Will the track be slippery? We go out without knowing where we are going, but we go at the drop of the gate. Others will not be chosen by God for this race that we're running, though we may wish that we could run with them. "Run with endurance the race marked out for you" (Heb 12:1). We may feel that we wanted to go with others on their races before us (their calls), or that we want to bring others and not "leave them behind" in our own minds, but God has called each to a race marked out for them. We cannot consider what it is costing them or us to run this race--we simply run the race marked out for us. And though we do not know all the consequences and there was sacrifice in leaving our comfortable stables to get out on the edge in the race, putting ourselves at risk, we can forget all the other distractions and realize the great exhilaration of the race--we are running with the wind in our faces! But only if we have gone through the life-long training, only if we've taken our place at the starting gate, only if we've waited for the gate to drop, and only if we'll charge forward when the gate is dropped, knowing perhaps little more than that a gate has been dropped, we are here and equipped by our Master Trainer, and we must run the race He has marked out for us.

All of the above alludes a specific call for ministry. As if we as riders and horses are committing to something new and different that is full-time ministry. Indeed, this fits, I believe, and you and I may very well need to read it that way. However, we might want to examine in what way we define "full-time ministry." When you hear that, I'm sure you think of pastors and missionaries, etc. Indeed, they are included. But could you be in full-time ministry right where you are? Could you be an engineer, school teacher, doctor, or lawyer in full-time ministry right now? I believe the answer is "yes." We often think about "going out without knowing" as being discarding all for the sake of a career in ministry. That may very well be your call--do not dismiss it if He is asking! And if you're unsure, then you can still start in obedience by making your life and career full-time ministry right now. The difference is attitude and approach to the work day. The difference is attitude and approach to friendships. The difference is attitude and approach in your thought life. We can "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5) in the working world, doing everything "...with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Col 3:23) being ambassadors for Christ every day.

I do not want to discount the calling to pastors and missionaries here. I believe that as many will read this, less are going to commit to such service for God than He has called. "Many are called, but few are chosen." As O.C. writes, few prove themselves chosen by responding to the call. In encourage you, in whatever way the Holy Spirit is guiding you right now, do the following:

- Listen for God continually while you wait and as you go out
- Wait for the Lord's direction that you KNOW is from Him
- When you act in obedience, go out without knowing or being hindered by the consequences for you and others
- Check to make sure that whatever the sacrifice, you still have the full joy of the Lord
- Start living for Him in full-time ministry right where you are today
- At any snare, at any success, at all times, "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess 5:17)

If you can satisfy these conditions, I believe that the Lord has you right where He wants you, your life will never be the same and for the better, and we are one step closer to walking down the path of His preferred will.

If this is all confusing, I understand. You might throw everything written here out the window and do just one thing: pray. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you what God can tell you Himself through prayer and sincere study of His Word. I write these things to be a catalyst in your relationship to Him, not at all to be a substitute. Your inspiration can start while reading here or "My Utmost" or any other Christian writing, but it must immediately be fed by the Source, God Himself. This is endeavored through prayer and Scripture.

May the Holy Spirit speak to you today, and may we both respond to His voice in the way that is most pleasing to our Father in Heaven. Amen.

Growing Faith - One Summer and Winter at a Time

As I grow older and somewhat more mature, I am finding that great faith takes time. However short or long, it certainly takes real experience with God. Faith is something I’ve always been taught is essential, yet it was somewhat hard to grasp. The thing about faith is that it only makes so much sense until you have it—you can’t conceptualize real faith beyond your own until you have somehow grown to that extent of faith. Developed faith has a confidence with it, and though we observe others faith that is deeper than ours and we can imagine what it might be like, we do not carry confidence of true faith in our imagining—we simply don’t comprehend it yet.

After the disciples displayed a need for more faith, asking Jesus why they couldn’t drive out a demon:

Matt 17:20 – “He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."”

The faith of a mustard seed doesn’t understand the faith of the tree with mighty branches—not until it grows into such a tree of faith. The growing takes time, nurturing, and feeding. So how do we grow, feed, and nurture our faith? Well we don’t—if we could choose in the moment, we as little mustard seeds of faith would never choose the terrible things a tree can withstand and we have no vision of withstanding. But we do have an important first step.

Jesus in John 12:24-25: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”

We must die. Our first death is to sin and living for ourselves in the world, but then we must die to our fears and exasperations of the next storm, in addition to our expectations and conceptions of how we could be used by God and be most pleasing in His sight. We must let God do the choosing, and our choice is simply to die to self.

Colossians 3:2-3 - “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

When we do this, we have exercised the faith of a mustard seed at first planting, but we will not become mighty trees overnight. God may do a great thing through us, but we likely did it less by faith and more by God’s direct intervention and “proving” His presence in the situation, for He knows the current limits of our faith. Gideon put out the fleece, just as we do so often…yet God did show himself in the fleece, as needed by Gideon’s less than full faith at the time. God is good--even in those times, we see Jesus and our faith is grown—but let’s desire to put out a few less fleeces as we grow (After all, how much more amazing when we haven’t asked for the fleece, yet God showed up with one for us!).

We first break through the soil into the atmosphere, not much more than a seed. But our faith is growing, and in ways that we could not understand as an unplanted seed; still, we desire the growth into the trees of faith we’ve encountered in the Bible or in person. But how do we get there? We might pray, “Lord, please give me the faith.” He certainly will—that is a prayer that will be answered in affirmation, but not in the way we first thought. We thought that God would impart in us an instant faith like an instant healing. Let me say that perhaps there have been individuals who have such an experience with faith, but that is extremely rare. For the vast majority, including me and likely you, this faith will have to be imparted one struggle at a time, one summer of obvious growth and winter of less obvious growth at time. And as saplings we can’t conceive of it, but one day we’ll recognize the growth that God has been cultivating, and we’ll love Him even more for it, as we glimpse a little more clearly who He is, perfect and welcoming, wonderful and sovereign, powerful and loving—and our faith will continue to grow and flourish.

If just now you desired faith, you have a great seed of Christ planted in you. If you have been frustrated with your lack of faith, you are a little sprout or sapling or anything short of the fully developed tree, yet with such potential (Let’s face it, we reach absolute full development in Heaven). Allow your faith to be exercised. It will feel like winter, it will feel like summer, but all the while you’ll be growing. We have to accept our pace.

Isaiah 40:31 – “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Sometimes we are accelerated to God in faith, soaring “on wings like eagles,” yet other times we must plod along and “walk and not be faint.” The desire is ours to display before God—the willingness and simple obedience-the growing is His. Paul in 1 Cor 3:6-7:

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.”

May your faith grow abundantly in the next season and the seasons that follow. I pray that you are encouraged to “fight the good fight” with patient endurance for your faith to come, “fixing our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.”

Heb 12:1-3 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Amen.

Pray It Through - “Lord, I’m asking again…”

Heb 4:15-16 – “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Have you ever hesitated in God’s presence? Have you ever prayed, confessing your struggles and concerns, but then stopped short of full disclosure? I have.

There are a lot of good reasons that you and I share this experience. I say “good” to mean compelling or logical reasons in the human sense, yet in the end, there is no truly good reason, for we became spiritually deprived in that moment. Deprived of the full power, love, and grace of our beautiful God.

Guilt first keeps us from confessing our every sin and struggle and worry. Just look at the first human encounter of sin in the Garden of Eden to see the “natural” human response to the awareness of sin in God’s presence: “They…hid themselves” (Gen 3:8). They physically hid because of such shame. This feeling of shame or guilt is good in that it demonstrates that we have the righteous wherewithal to recognize sin as sin. Furthermore, Jesus says in Matt 5:4 that “blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Have you ever mourned your sin? The healthy outlet for the guilt of sin is spiritual mourning of the separation from God, which is sin, followed by Jesus’ promise of comfort. What a great and gracious outcome!

But going further, I have found myself hesitating in God’s presence when sin isn’t even in question. This is when I am self-conscious of repeatedly asking for the same thing. For you or I, this could be asking for something that we desire in life, or when we have been continuously fighting to overcome temptation, or just keeping our eyes fixed upon Jesus (Heb 12:2), yet we have failed to do so again.

These hesitations can be uniquely different because they are not necessarily sin related, but rather, our hesitation comes from having to once again ask for help. My thoughts are that I should have made more progress by now, but I feel like we’re right back at square one and therefore God must be…disappointed. And I don’t want to disappoint Him. In those moments I want to man up, gear up, armor up, suit up, just get up and conquer those things in God’s name. And I’ve already asked for help like 1000 times. I feel like I need to come back to Him with some progress instead of saying, “Lord I still need your help, I’m struggling…yet again.” You may identify with my sentiment. In fact, these thoughts make a lot of sense, concerning our interaction with those from which we ask for help on earth. How many times could you ask your teacher, professor, or mentor to show you how to do something before they would think you were just un-teachable? How many times could you ask your closest family member for forgiveness for the same wrong-doing before they may think that “you’ll never change?” How many times could you go back to your boss for a project review with no progress, asking again for help to start out on the first steps? In each case, not many times…certainly not as many times as I’ve had to approach God with those exact same requests. We see God as our Teacher, our Mentor, our Father, and even our “Boss,” and we apply what we know about humans in these roles to our perfect God. This of course leads us astray, for we have tried to build a Creator out of the creation. Realizing this, we can more easily understand why this approach is wrong, but we must then apply it to our prayer conversations with Him.

You see, inside, I desire to come back to God with a finished me. I desire to bring before Him a perfect me. I desire to submit myself to Him, a pleasing sacrifice, unblemished and pure. The problem is that of course, I cannot. In fact, I can only become those things by first coming to Him and confessing all my spiritual blemishes, impurities, and imperfections. That includes sin, yes, but it also includes the life-long pursuit of righteousness and purging of selfishness, which does indeed take an entire lifetime—and even an entire lifetime by itself is terribly insufficient because in Christ alone are we made perfect. But we are made perfect indeed (Eph 4:13; Col 1:22, 28). It is why we can come “boldly before His throne” (Heb 4:16). We come humbly, yet confidently before the throne of God and are made pure and perfect by Christ, who is “seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:2). What an amazing instantaneous turnaround.

So what have you been praying to God over and over and over? Don’t stop. Pray it through to completion. Have you not only failed to make progress but even regressed in an area? Then we need Him even more than ever…and He already knows. Until you seek His strength and mercy, you will have neither. But instantly upon seeking Him, you will have both abundantly. Simply seek and find. Ask and receive. Knock and the door will be opened. (Matt 7:7-8, Luke 11:9-10) Have you knocked, entered, then somehow found yourself outside again? Knock again and the door will be opened again. The more honestly and transparently we come, splaying out all that is within our souls to God, the more immediately and gloriously His power of transformation can be realized in you and me. Hold nothing back.

If you’ve had the thought, “well, then it doesn’t matter what I do today, he’ll open the door again,” then you have taken this seriously the wrong way. At that moment, you are only going through the motions of knocking. Let me ask you this: if you show up at my home and hold your hand up in the motion of knocking, never actually knocking in sincerity, never making contact with the door, will I hear you? No, of course I will not, and will therefore not acknowledge you nor let you in. Be careful of “going through the motions.” Make sure you knock with all sincerity, and I assure you God will open His door of love, grace, mercy, healing, and strength wide to you. He has for me. He has for thousands and millions of your neighbors. He has for multitudes upon multitudes since the beginning of time. How do we know this? Start reading the Bible from Matthew 1:1 through John 21:25. It’s the most amazing Truth. I encourage you to read and judge for yourself. But don’t just go through the motions, or you’ll be wasting your time. Read it with the most sincerity you can muster, even as a skeptic. You will find answers. You will have some more questions. Keep digging and you will continue to find new answers and new questions, each bringing you closer to Truth, and along the way you’ll come to realize that there was no greater pursuit in your entire life.

The Best for the Journey

Imagine you have a son who is 18 years old. You have plans to buy him a reliable car that is also extremely pleasing to him in every way—aesthetically, performance, interior, reliable, easy to maintain, fuel efficient. Now you’re on your way to go get the car that you have picked out for him, and let’s say that you actually know what you’re doing and have picked out the best car possible for him in every way. On the way there, your son sees a bright red (his favorite color on a car) sporty-type car for sale and points it out in exclamation. That’s the car he wants! “Dad, can we get it please?!” You say no, but he insists that you at least take a look. Knowing better, but seeing that he won’t appreciate anything until he is appeased, you go to look at the inferior car…plus, if he’s listened to you growing up, he’ll see what you see anyway, right? It actually looks pretty good, especially from a distance. You notice some exterior inconsistencies, but you’re really concerned about what’s under the hood. This car has 99,000 miles on it. Being a car guy (and since this is hypothetical), you know that the engine on this model breaks down within the first 105,000 miles without exception, most within 100,000 miles. Incidentally, your son is about to set out across the nation and back on a road trip with trusted friends, driving the car you pick out today. That’s a 6,000 mile trip, so you’re guaranteed that this thing is going to break down, and as Murphy’s law would have it, it would probably be on the opposite end of the country. You know this, your son doesn’t. Well, he’s in love. He wants this car. But you say, “no.” He doesn’t understand, but you tell him that you have something better, so much better in mind for him. He doesn’t believe you, or maybe he does, but he’s too mad to admit it. Why couldn’t that dealership be next door?—then he’d only be mad for a couple seconds. Oh, but the drive to the next town over, 50 miles away, is grueling. You hardly talk. In fact, you find your son’s behavior and comments toward you so repulsive, you wonder if you should even buy a car at all! Perhaps cancel his trip! But then, you have patience and understanding, and you continue on your journey with your son.

At last you arrive at the dealership. There she is—bright red, sleek and smooth, excellent condition coupe with only a few miles and a wonderful interior…and under the hood, the most reliable and powerful, fuel efficient engine in its class. Your son is in heaven. “Thank you, Dad!” You both share smiles and he’s almost in tears (not that he’d admit it). He says to you, “Wow, Dad…I had no idea what you had planned for me…I couldn’t have imagined…I can’t believe I fought you over this!”

And that, my friends, is a great picture of us with our Heavenly Father. He, the all-knowing, all-loving, all-patient Father who is looking out for us, doing “infinitely more than we dare to ask or hope for.” (Eph 3:20) He “know[s] the plans [He] has for you, plans for good and not to harm you.” (Jer 29:11) Will we trust Him today? Will we patiently endure the seemingly infinitely long journey to his chosen blessings for us, realizing that they aren’t so long after all? Will we at least ask Him, when we’ve picked out for ourselves what we want in our lives? Will we yield when He says, “no,” and begin to realize that it’s not just for His good, but for ours?! Finally, will we recognize Him as our protector and provider when we have at last received the next reward? I sincerely hope so. That is my prayer for you and myself. Amen.

The Faith to Persevere

From "My Utmost for His Highest," May 8:

"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says - "I cannot stand any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of patience just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."

Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.

God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence in Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvellous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power." - Oswald Chambers

I am especially drawn to the first paragraph--what a wonderful example of an archer with the bow and arrow. God as our archer and us as the arrow. Should the arrow choose where to shoot and at what angle? No, only the archer can see the target and has the skill to direct the capable arrow where it needs to be. What a great picture of part of our relationship with God.

In reaction to the thought that we might resist saying, "I cannot stand anymore," we might be inspired to hold on a little longer, to learn a deeper patience and faith in God. I hope that is your reaction! But within that, beware the part of your reaction that says, "yes, I can wait a little longer for that thing I want, the thing I've been waiting for and may give up on." That could be what God has planned, but more likely, as O.C. mentions, "the saint cannot see" what God is aiming for until He hits the target. Take this opportunity to decide to have more patience, to grow your faith, to stick it out longer...not for the things that you can see that you want to be patient for, but for the things that you cannot see. This is the true patience and faith that I believe O.C. is focusing on here. Patience for something we see and desire right now is a good thing, but patience and faith that says that we will wait on God and follow His perfect aim, knowing that we cannot see what He aims us for, abandoning all that we might aim for ourselves--that is a righteous faith and patience that leads to joy in knowing our loving God and celebrating His perfection. When we let Him, He lets fly of a strong and true arrow of Christianity with the truest aim and with the greatest impact.

Hope and Loss

In this life, I feel at times like I have lost so much. So many dreams and ambitions, so many things that were once mine and are no longer mine. So many things that I might think of as my right as a human being. But at this point, my thoughts need revision. Truthfully, I have no right to anything physical and therefore have lost nothing.

What do I have a right to? A job, a house, food, healthcare, friendship, marriage, children, a standard of living? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of those things, nor anything else quantified in the physical world, do I have a right to. Rather, anything which I aspire to attain or have been blessed with is a gift from God (James 1:17, Matt 7:11). These were not mine to begin with, and I have no claim, no argument, no right to any of it. The difference is in attitude. Do you have an attitude of entitlement or an attitude of thankfulness for the multitude of blessings in your life? I can tell you that the latter is the correct one, though I do not possess it often enough.

Have you experienced some recent setbacks? So have I. And I have experienced even more setbacks as I tally them up from years past. But at the same time, if I will allow myself to focus on the positive, I find countless blessings. And as I focus on the setbacks, I am struck with the realization that the things that I “lost” were what I perceived to be good for me—things that I wanted and wanted badly. Things that even society as a whole would commend me for aspiring toward and would consider them “rights.” But society as a whole is wrong here. I have no claim on what my life should be like tomorrow or in 50 years—who am I to choose who I will be, what I will do, and whom I will know? The truth is that I must rid myself of those thoughts of selfishness and let God do the choosing and choreographing.

So what is disappointment? What is false hope? I have hoped for many things that just did not come to fruition. I have worked hard for these things and have done everything within my human power to attain them, and I have even consulted God through prayer that it might be done according to His will. Romans 5:5 says that “hope does not disappoint” (also see Isaiah 49:23). I have hoped in those things and I have been disappointed. So something has to give.

I am actually convicted by the very words I just wrote: “I have hoped in those things and I have been disappointed.” “I have hoped in those things.” “…in those things.” You see, my hope is not to be “in those things,” my hope is to be in God, His divine and perfect will, and in His perfect love for me and you. This is the hope that does not disappoint which is referred to in the Bible. My focus has been on physical things and not on God’s purpose. My focus was as such: “This is my will that I think can be used for Your will, God.” Rather, it should be “I am committed to your good and perfect will, God, that I may conform mine and change my entire list of desires, abandoning all that I consider good in my own flawed judgment.” From "My Utmost for His Highest," by Oswald Chambers: “If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled.” Noble—in the purest sense of the word.

Instead of questioning God in our disappointment, how powerful is our growth in relationship with God when we run to Him, beckoning Him to set us straight so that we might not bear the pain of our own poor judgment and separation from His holy, perfect plan. When our desires are His desires, our hope is His hope, and all things we hope for we will see.

Knowledge is not the answer. Obedience, patience, trust, and love for our Father are the answer. If we have these things, we quickly realize that knowledge is inconsequential. I caught myself praying and saying to God, “Lord, if I only knew…” If I only knew exactly what He wanted here and there…if I only just knew right now, I could go ahead and start out in the right direction. If I only had that knowledge! But as I was thinking that, I realized it was in error. First of all, we do know. We have the Bible, His Word, to guide us unto all things that please and displease Him. We can apply those things this very day, in this very moment. And beyond that, for specific events in the future, not only could we not handle knowledge of the future, whether partial or full, but that knowledge actually does not achieve the purpose. Upon receiving such knowledge, my focus undoubtedly would turn to myself and how I would be affected, instead of God's glory. And almost undoubtedly, I would attempt to change or at least tweak just one little thing. Even if my motives were altruistic, attempting to change it would defy the purpose of my asking and receiving the knowledge from God. Was my request not to have foresight in order to obey? It was, and if obedience is a key issue—oh, and it is—then let’s examine it: Obedience, through patience, trust and love for God requires absolutely no foreknowledge of any specific events. Therefore my request for knowledge in order to obey…is void. My request must instead be for patience, trust, and love shared between me and My Father.

In the end, I have lost nothing. Everything I have, everything I am, everything I have experienced…if there is any good in any of it, it is a gift from God. I have nothing that was not given to me and have lost nothing that was my own, even my very life itself (1 Cor 6:19-20, Job 10:12). I am an eternal being, yet a temporary tenant in a temporary vessel, whose purpose is serving and glorifying my God. The only true loss would be losing the opportunity to serve, praise, glorify, and mutually love our Creator…and even that is a gift, one I am thankful for, and one that I hope to have forever. This is hope that will never disappoint.

Relationship with God: Courtship

As part of the singles demographic, I often get asked about dating or finding that special someone, especially by those in the married demographic. For those of us still single and out of college, this is a frequently raised subject, sometimes by ourselves, but often by others—and many of us get frustrated and wearied by the constant attention that we often feel is negative or annoying. Tonight I was out with several married couples…inevitably, my singleness became the topic of conversation. Sometimes it can be annoying, and sometimes it is actually flattering because they consider you approved for their friends. I realized that I hadn’t been seriously dating for quite a while and that I didn’t feel the familiar longing for dating that I had in the past. Singles, you know what I’m talking about…each of us has a fuse, some of us 1 week, some of us 1 year, but a timespan for which we haven’t been dating where we become alerted to our desire to be dating—without even thinking of a specific individual, we just desire to be dating someone we find appealing. But that feeling was more absent in me than expected, given the time that I have been single. And after some thought, I realize it is because God’s Word has taken that place in my life as of late.

Courtship is a concept that I am very fond of. I feel that courtship is really the only best approach to dating. Why are we dating, except to find someone that we should spend our lives with?—if you had the choice of dating your future wife or husband right now or dating several other people before finally dating your spouse—wouldn’t you choose just to do away with the other distractions, bad experiences, and destructive temptations that the others can bring? I think most would agree that it would be better to give ourselves to our spouses only and sooner rather than later. In a perfect world, each of us would court, marry, and even date only our one life-long spouse. Having never dated anyone but our spouse is impractical for most, including myself, because…well, it isn’t a perfect world and we don’t have perfect foresight and knowledge! The point is that when we enter our next relationship, I think courtship is the proper approach.

Courtship is the pursuit of another with the exploration and intent of life-long relationship. In most cases, this refers to dating and marriage. However, I think the broader definition has another application: our relationships with God. Think about it: what do you do if you are dating someone? You spend time with them, you share experiences, you share your most intimate thoughts and questions, you talk with them several times a week (or even daily), you give them your time and attention when you feel emotionally uplifted in doing so, and you give them time and attention at times when you don’t feel as emotionally driven…ultimately, you spend time and effort getting to know them better, and they are a priority. And you do so because you have a genuine interest in them, and they in you. I think this is a beautiful picture of our relationship with God, certainly as it should be. Perhaps we should look at our relationships with God and start courting Him—He is already pursuing us full-time and forever (Rom 8:35-39, 2 Chron 16:9).

If you’re single, perhaps focusing on your courtship with God will help ease your anxieties of singleness. You may one day look back at those brief single years (they may not feel brief at the time, but in the context of a lifetime, it may very well be brief) and cherish the growth of your relationship with God because you had more time and focus on Him (1 Cor 7:32-35). As we begin to lose focus on our current circumstances (i.e. singleness), we will find ourselves focused on God, our relationship with Him, and living out His purpose for us. Guess what? It’s at those times that we will have peace instead of anxiety, joy instead of depression, patience instead of frustration, and love instead of selfishness. And guess what else? In those times we will be more in line with God’s preferred will for our lives, His perfect plan, and if we are to be married, we are more on track to finding that special someone than ever. For those of us who have longer to wait, then we have still found God’s best for our lives in this very moment—relationship with Him lived out in our daily lives.

For those who are dating or even those who are married: Courtship of God is just as valid as ever. There is no limit to the courtship and relationship we can have with God. The paragraphs above may allude to a spiritual advantage, due to more time to focus on God during singleness—this is not the main point. The single person has an opportunity to channel that “loneliness” and find purpose through it. But courtship of God is never ending—it is by the definition given here “the pursuit of another with the exploration and intent of life-long relationship.” Lifelong. That means that the relationship never stops growing and deepening with time. There is no limit to it, it is boundless—our relationship with God as tall, wide, and deep as His love for us—perfect, unquantifiable, and eternal (Eph 3:17-19). And marriage does offer a unique perspective that can deepen our relationship with God in a new dimension.

So this week (and every week thereafter) let’s commit to renewed courtship of God. Let’s apply what we know about loving other humans, especially that special one that we love or will love more than any other, to our relationship with God. Let’s commit to:

- Spend time with Him
- Share your daily experiences with Him
- Share your most intimate thoughts and questions with Him
- Talk with Him several times a week (even daily, even constantly – 1 Thess 5:17, Eph 6:18)
- Give Him your time and attention when you are emotionally moved
- Give Him your time and attention when you are not emotionally driven
- Make the effort to get to know Him better
- Make Him a priority

Through this I believe you will find a genuine interest in Him, especially as you begin to realize His genuine interest in you. He loves you more than any other—more than you’ve ever loved someone and more than anyone ever has or will love you. You and our fellow Christians are His bride (Eph 5:2-32, 2 Cor 11:2, Rev 21:1-4)—courtship is not just appropriate, it is essential.