Do I Pray With God On My Side?

Have I really realized that God is on my side? Honestly, strangely, too often, no.

I became aware of this during my small group discussion tonight. We started in Zechariah 6, began discussing God’s sovereignty, and ended up engaging in prayer and discussion about hard things we were praying through. Someone made the astute comment that God was angry alongside my brother in Christ, angry at the same thing. Someone else astutely commented that God is interested in character, not comfort, holiness not happiness…but also that He seeks to bless us in the here and now, “in the land of the living.”

Psalm 27:13 – “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

Psalm 27:13 has been a special verse to me since I discovered it during the darkest time of my life. I was literally dying of an incurable disease, dealing with a recently broken relationship, and I was in physical and emotional pain on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. The physical pain gripped me and I could not escape it…even in periods of relief, I was gripped with dread of the next minute when it would strike again. In the middle of all this, I could see the fruit of the Holy Spirit being revived in me, for I had accepted Christ at a young age but had since not chosen Him as first in my life. I could see 2 Cor 4:16 coming to life:

2 Cor 4:16 - “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.”

This was me. The outward man was dying and would soon be dead. And in fact, I beckoned that day. I found myself crying to God as Job did, asking for His mercy in the form of death, so that I could come to Heaven where there is "no more crying or pain" (Rev 21:4).

Even still, as God refused to honor my short sighted, yet sincere request, knowing what was even better for me and His Kingdom, I did not yet know how to go on. And so, when God revealed Psalm 27:13 to me it was encouragement beyond description because I was faced with a life of pain and could not foresee any relief, and He would not let me die. To realize that I can have the same hope as David the psalmist that I would see the goodness of the Lord and His blessing as I live on earth. It and a new, real relationship with Jesus Christ sustained me throughout my trial, and I am excited to report that He has continued to heal and restore me from that day forward. I have no more pain and the disease is well controlled (auto-immune), as he has brought healing to my body, mind, heart, and soul. Praise God!

And so throughout the conversation with my brothers tonight, I was hit with a sound conviction: I often forget that God is actually on my side, He is for me, and “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:31) I realized that when praying hard for a loved one, whether it be salvation for a friend, restoration for a family member, or healing for myself, I often feel the burden of convincing God. I almost chuckle at my immaturity, for what man can convince God of anything? God made that man and knows his thoughts before he thinks them! And if I could “convince” God of anything—meaning that He was then inclined to act in a different manner than he would otherwise—I would be doing a terrible thing…for God is perfect without me and tells us that “My ways are higher” and “My ways are not your ways” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Going further, I realize that the root of much of my attitude of combating or convincing God comes from a life of rebellion. I have spent much of my life rebelling against Him, desiring the minimal legalistic belief in God, asking for things that were against His will in my own foolishness, and in a state of confusion for what is good in God’s sight…and as a reborn soul, I have forgotten that He replaces those old desires with the Holy Spirit. That although we once prayed very much against God, He has been patient, and once restored to Him, we can ask in confidence in single mindedness with our God and fellow believers.

And even with this knowledge, I find myself praying with a burden to turn God’s ear when praying for very pure things that are obviously part of His will (any prayer for salvation is in line with His will, for starters). But what resistance am I feeling? It is not God’s resistance. My epiphany is that God is absolutely for you and me in much of our prayers, once we have been sealed with the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. If you believe in Christ for your salvation, you have the Holy Spirit, and many of your prayers and desires are the same as God’s! (As a side note, always submit to His will and do not be so arrogant as to think that any and all of your desires are His…but realize that some of your desires as a regenerated soul, and truthfully, more and more of your desires as you are sanctified by Him will be His very will.)

What a comfort that God is looking down and saying “Yes! Yes, I am angry with injustice. Yes, I am jealous for my church. Yes, I am pursuing that lost, loved soul. Yes, I will heal you for my glory. Yes, I will never let go of you and will bring you closer every day.” At this moment, I lose the disposition of praying in a position facing God, sitting opposed to Him. Instead, I pray with Him, alongside Him, looking at the same things and desiring the same righteousness for His glory. He has his arm around you and me as we pray…He needs no convincing…He is for us, so who can be against us?

I pray in agreement with God Himself through Jesus Christ that you would feel how awesome, how powerful, how deep, how wide is the love of God for you, and that you will begin to pray with confidence, assurance, and peace alongside your Savior and Father God, for the building up of His church and for the glory of His name. Amen.