John 15:4-5 (Jesus speaking) – “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
“Better Christian.” Likely, you have either said this phrase yourself or heard it many times from others. Today I was half listening to the radio when I heard the phrase, and it sent me into introspective thought.
There are many good follow-up questions, such as how do you become a better Christian? Or what does a better Christian life look like? But for now, I will focus more on the motivation and mindset of the desire to be a better Christian and suggest that when we consider relationships of any kind, with man or with God, we might start replacing the word “better” with “closer.” What if instead of becoming a better husband or wife, a better friend, a better mother or father, we pursued being closer to our spouse, a closer friend, or closer to our children or other family members? What if instead of becoming a better Christian, we pursued simply being closer to our Lord and knowing His character? What if instead of seeking to love better, we sought to love closer, more intimately? I believe this reset in perspective and pursuit will make all the difference in the world.
When we resolve ourselves to be better at something, the truth is that the focus lies squarely on ourselves. We may want to be better for someone else’s benefit, but at the core of our action is a focus on ourselves. Furthermore, in order to feel progress or success, we will have to be analytical and judge whether or not we are better. This leads to a lot of self-focus. However, if instead we refine that desire and replace it with the desire to be closer in any relationship, we will find our focus squarely on the other person. To be closer to someone is to know them better, to perceive their heart, to share what matters to them. As we do this, our eyes, desires, and actions will turn outward. This is true of human relationships, just as it is true of our relationship with our Father, Creator, and Savior God.
The root of the desire “to be a better Christian” can actually be very good. To desire to be a better Christian is often derived from a conviction of incompletion or separation from God. It is a recognition and admission that we need to be changed. It is a desire to live out our lives as Christ, yet a realization that we currently are not doing that well. These are sound convictions that the Holy Spirit works in and through. The twist comes when we begin to focus on ourselves and our shortcomings, desiring to be better, when in reality our truest and deepest desire is simply to be closer. Closer to our holy God, loving Savior, and trustworthy Counselor.
After all, what is the outcome of a life lived in the pursuit of being a better Christian? Or a better anything? I will affirm that learning discipline, especially in spiritual things, is quite good and right; but it is the underlying mindset and approach that I am seeking to divide joints and marrow, truth and error, with the scalpel of the Word (Heb 4:12). Take for instance the desire to be a better husband. This may be lived out in any of a number of tangible ways. Perhaps a man desires to be a better husband and begins to buy his wife flowers on a regular basis. Perhaps he gives other gifts, acts of service, gives his time, offers words of love, or seeks to embrace more often. Whatever he does, as he sets out to be a better husband, he will likely succeed…at least for a little while. But if the desire to be a “better husband” does not meet up with a desire to be a closer husband, closer to his wife, then these languages of love will soon grow dull and meaningless. Months later, dozens of bouquets given without thoughtfulness, acts of service done begrudgingly, time spent with other things preoccupying the mind, repetitive words spoken, embraces given as the new “more” routine…if none of these things are of the heart, they are meaningless. What good are any of these actions that represent our perception of a “better husband” without growing nearer in relationship with your spouse? The true reality is that if we start with the desire to grow closer, we will find ourselves being better. If we grow closer with loved ones, spouses, friends, family, even co-workers, bosses and subordinates, or the man on the street…if we seek to grow closer to the individual, as we do grow closer, we begin to care for them better. And just as this is true in human relationships, it is true in our relationship with God.
Have you ever tried to please someone without knowing them well? It can be very difficult. Have you ever tried to please God (be a better Christian) without knowing Him well? It can be very difficult. “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Heb 11:6). I will submit that without knowing God, it is impossible to have faith. For who has faith in something of which they know nothing about? Can I have faith that the sun will rise if I have no knowledge that it exists and no one has ever told me? Can I have faith that a light bulb will turn on if I’ve never known that it exists? Can I have faith that a seed will grow into a plant if I’ve never seen a plant or a seed, nor have I ever heard of such a thing? Ah, but upon hearing, I can begin to wonder. The power of revealing the truth of Christ to someone who does not know anything about Him! But to truly know our God, is to have faith. And to have faith, is to please our God. To please our God is, so to speak, to be a better Christian. Therefore, if our aim is to be better, our means is to know Him, to be closer to Him. And as we make that our aim and desire, our pursuit is no longer to be better afterall; yet, that is exactly what we become. When we grow closer to God, being “better” simply flows from the relationship. We must let go in order to apprehend. We must step back, to be brought forward. We must surrender in order to be set free. This is the way of our Lord, and how gracious is He to grant us the abundant blessing of knowing Him more closely.
If we set out to be better Christians, there exists a danger of our lives soon becoming all about works and less about faith. If our focus in on ourselves, we begin to strive to earn sanctification and even salvation through works. We did not start there…we were saved by grace and fully aware of it. We then desired to be changed and in our fleshly foolishness, sought to be better in order to get closer. But we have it backwards when we approach the Lord that way, for we can only be “better” by being closer, and being closer to our Lord is a far richer experience than any self-realization of being a “better Christian.”
Zech 13:9 - This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'"
Job 23:10 - But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
Oh to be refined in the refiner’s fire! For the dross to be burned away! To come forth as pure gold! Let us willingly come before our Refiner, and let our desires to be better Christians melt away, "setting our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:2). May we discard our pursuits of being better, and embrace the pursuit of being closer. May we do this in our marriages, our friendships, our families, our work environments, in everywhere we go. And may we do it unswervingly in an abiding relationship with our Father, Creator, Savior, Defender, Counselor God. Amen.
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