I had the pleasure of speaking with Popcorn Christian Church in Springville, IN yesterday. They are the church in which I grew up, and they supported me on my recent mission trip to India with As Our Own. The "video" below is of the message I gave to convey my newfound appreciation for my personal salvation through Christ...a greater appreciation as a result of teaming up with As Our Own. I hope that you might gain a renewed love of Jesus and those He seeks to rescue, as well.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
"I was driving home from church..." - A True Story
I write this to encourage you. To show you one way that the Lord works within you and me. I am self-conscious since this is my story, but I feel that sharing it may do some good in your life. That is my single motivation.
I was driving home from church and Sunday school one February night.
I exited off of the interstate loop that circles Houston, TX and came to a stop at the light, only a couple more turns from my apartment home. I was hungry. My lunch was small and it was almost 8:30 pm. I knew I didn’t have time to cook, so I planned on stopping at KFC on the way to my apartment for some tasty fried chicken, green beans, and a biscuit.
As I sat at the light, the only car at the intersection, a homeless man with a styrofoam cup looked at me. I looked squarely at him, a new phenomenon in my life, as I typically avert my eyes, pretend to be busy and hope for the light to turn green instantly. There is a double-sided feeling within me in those situations—one of common discernment and good judgment that would say to not help, that they’ll likely only use it for beer, and when you give a little, they immediately try to pump you for more. It’s awkward being rich and giving such a small amount to the poor--think about that--I hope it's as convicting to you as it is to me. Then again, I’ve heard of those who make more than minimum wage begging on the streets and therefore don’t even desire a normal job—this is tax free to boot. The other side is of compassion and what feels like obedience…and guilt every time you do nothing for them. So which shoulder’s argument are you going to listen to today, Will? Do you even know which side is right? Perhaps one is right sometimes and the other is right other times—perhaps you’ve been saved from a murderous cheat and liar a time or two…or perhaps you’ve not fed Jesus Himself by not feeding the least of these a time or two. How can I know as I sit in my truck?
That’s just it. Sometimes we don’t know. In those times, I think a correct response is deciding that since Jesus lives within me through the Holy Spirit, I’m going to engage this man and let Jesus speak to him. I don’t know how, but by Jesus’ presence in my life and my presence in this man’s life, Jesus is present in his life. The rest is Jesus’ work. I am just the obedient vessel.
Women: if it is after dark and you’re alone, don’t open your door or window to someone you don’t know. I believe this is sound advice. I’m not saying to be stupid here…conversely, I’m also not saying to obey “common wisdom.” I’m saying to the let the Holy Spirit speak. I’m not saying to put yourself at risk for the sake of “doing something.” That is foolishness. Movement on risky situations without the Spirit’s guidance can literally be a death sentence. Moving on risky situations with the Spirit’s guidance can be a Life sentence…for you and for those you help.
However, I did not feel that this situation was threatening or risky, except to my comfort level and awkwardness avoidance. Those things were certainly in jeopardy.
So I rolled down my window to just talk with the guy. I knew I had no cash and I didn’t even have any quarters. His slurred speech was almost indiscernible as he told me his standard 10-second plea for help, from which I learned that he was a veteran and had many medical issues from Vietnam. Was he telling the truth? I don’t know. Probably. Either way, he was a filthy homeless man in obvious need. But I had only pennies.
I told him that all I had were a few pennies. He said, “I’m not too proud for pennies. I’ll take ‘em if you’ll give ‘em.” I poured what might have been a dollar’s worth of pennies from my truck’s ash tray, 2 year’s worth of accumulated change that hadn’t been spent on those pesky toll booths. He was joyful and said, “God bless you” as he saluted me. I smiled and said “God bless you, too.” He grinned a half-toothed grin that was genuine.
I continued to drive to KFC. Dinner time. I planned to take it back to my apartment and eat quickly before launching into my ever-expanding task list. A few of the items circulating in my brain included finishing the BSF bible study homework for the next day, cleaning my apartment for visitors this week, preparing a sermon for the church I’ll be speaking at Sunday as well as a presentation for a missions report on a recent trip to India with an amazing organization (As Our Own) to present to the same church, and doing a load of laundry. Of course, only some of this would get accomplished this night before going to bed way too late, getting way too little sleep, and waking up way too early for work the next day.
“Can I help you?” “Yes, I’d like a 3-piece crispy strip meal with green beans and mac’n’cheese.” “Pull around for your total.”
My total was going to be about $6. What happened next was small, but would change my night and perhaps the life of another. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
I suddenly realized that I just gave a homeless man about one dollar or less in pennies, then within 5 minutes was spending $6 on myself; I would then go back to my upper-middle class apartment with air conditioning, TV, and internet to enjoy my expenditure. How could I give a single dollar to a man with great need, and then spend 6 times as much on myself on something that I probably shouldn’t even eat and certainly didn’t need? Yeah, I was hungry, but I’ve had enough calories this week for 1.5 people—I didn’t NEED that food, I WANTED it. And the man who really needed it got only a few pennies from me.
I sat there convicted, arguing intensely with myself on what I should do.
“Give the food to the homeless man.”
“I’m not going to do that. I don’t have time. They don’t even want food half of the time anyway. It probably makes me vulnerable, too. Maybe another time…. This conviction is interesting, though. I can learn from this conviction. Perhaps others can too. Maybe I should write it down for myself and others to learn from my situation. Maybe I or someone else will be convicted, too. Maybe that will encourage them to have compassion and help others.”
“Why don’t you help him now?”
“Oh man. That’s what I need to do…. I don’t want to.”
“You need to. How can you treat yourself so well and forsake others?”
“Hmmmmm. Ok, ok, let’s do it!”
So I drove back down to the intersection and parked in a nearby parking lot. I walked over to the corner where he had been standing. He was gone. Hmmmm. “Well, Lord, I made myself available.” I was half disappointed and half relieved. “I guess I get to have my dinner after all. I did as I was told and still don’t even have to actually give the food away. I guess that’s all you wanted tonight.” Other cars were at the intersection and I felt a little awkward on the street corner with my KFC bag in my nicest jeans and tailored dress shirt (from India, no less). I was out of place and anyone could see that. I wanted to immediately and nonchalantly just make a 180 and walk back so as not to be seen by anyone for too long. But something made me pause on that street corner. I turned back toward the intersection, revealing my face for all the cars to see, as I made a sweep of the surrounding area with my eyes. The gas station—there he was. I headed across the street in that direction.
I met him walking back toward me, and he didn’t even know me as he started his spiel up again. I said, “Here, I bought you dinner,” as I smiled and handed it to him. His response caught me off guard, “What made you do that?” as he looked up with an open mouth and genuinely inquisitive eyes shrouded by dirt on all sides. What a perfect opening. Too perfect—I wasn’t ready for that! I thought I would have to work Jesus into the conversation and that was my “worry.” I laugh at myself now as I recall those thoughts. I paused as I gathered my response and said, “Well, I felt convicted that I need to help you out. See, I believe in Jesus Christ and I know that I am to love others as He loves us, and His ministry was in doing these things to help out people like yourself.”
William responded in affirmation as I noticed the cross necklace around his neck. He began to tell me all of His thoughts about Jesus and the Bible. It was an interesting mixture of thoughts, and I wasn’t sure if it was encouraging or concerning, as He said that He didn’t listen to any part of the Bible except Jesus’ words, sprinkling in the occasional curse word throughout the discourse. He said He didn’t want to hear anything else and didn’t think it was worth reading. He said you could throw it all out, but He liked Jesus’ words. I partially agreed with him as I responded by telling him that “yes, Jesus’ words are the words of life,” then adding, “but the entire Bible is the inspired word of God and when you read it in context with Jesus’ words it all fits in together perfectly.” He wasn’t completely convinced, but he also didn’t want to refute it.
After talking for several minutes, another man came over, asking about cigarettes. I said, “I don’t buy tobacco or alcohol, but I do by food and water.” He then turned and walked away in a resigned state. William said, “get away, we’re talking about God!” I was taken aback, hesitated, then said, “hey, yeah, so you’re welcome to come and talk, too.” He kept walking away.
In the conversation, I had a chance to share with William the difficult times in my life. I shared how I had almost died only 2 years ago. I motioned with my hands up and down my torso and confessed that the Lord had built me back up, but when I was almost to the point of death, it was the first time I realized my NEED of him. He said, “yes, yes, and he was just testing you and he’s given it back to you.” I sort of affirmed, clarifying that it was more than a test—it was growth. I also added that although I had asked for death from him, my life or death on earth wasn’t the principal revelation. It wasn’t about getting my physical body back—it was that for the first time I recognized my NEED of him and for the first time began to give my entire life to him.” (I repeated part of it to make sure he got it).
I also wanted to make sure he felt real conviction and wasn’t simply reciting what he’d heard before. I wanted to get to his heart. I told him that I was driving home from church and that I learned something tonight. I shared with him that we learned in the book of James about the “untamable” tongue, and Jesus’ words in Mathew that “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” I told him that I was convicted that I needed to be a man of clean speech, and not only that—that my heart had to be clean in order to have clean speech. I was going to add that I heard him curse a couple times, but the Holy Spirit obviously spoke before I could, as he said, “well, you haven’t heard me cursing any…have you?” I chuckled and said, “well yes, I’ve heard you curse multiple times in just the short conversation we’ve been having.” It was humorous as he sort of said “no,” then sort of accepted it as reality. I said, “Isn’t it great that we can be forgiven when we sin? Jesus will forgive you, and I don’t hold it against you. I just wanted to point it out to you to convict you.”
Soon afterward, William asked if I could get him a hotel for the night. “Here we go,” I thought, “I don’t want to buy him a hotel room.” Searching for excuses, but wanting to continue to display Christ’s love, I said what I really meant: “Hmmm. Maybe. But here’s the thing: ‘Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish…” He interjected, “and feed him for life!” as he smiled in affirmation and delight, adding that he really liked that one. I told him that I wasn’t going to be around all the time to buy him dinner or provide hotel rooms or anything else. I told him that I don’t pass this intersection much and God was going to take me on to the next thing in the next place, adding that I wanted him to learn what was available to him and to “learn to fish” so that he could begin to provide for himself, using the gifts that God has given him. After that, I prayed with him for a minute or two, mentioning that we were the same—two sinners in need of a Savior. I wanted to make a point of praying with him, no matter what else happened; and frankly, at this point, it would give me the space to determine what I should actually do next.
So, as a gesture of good faith and genuine interest, I walked him down the road to the cheap hotel nearby. At this point, I realized my “folly.” I had just promised him a room for the night, but it didn’t occur to me until the end of the 5 minute walk that I was liable for all damages that might occur. My wise friends and family would say, “Duh, silly. You’re smarter than that and should have known better.” I would agree. I am smarter than that! I know these things. But the Lord saw to it that my “common wisdom” would not interfere with His work here tonight and only allowed that “common wisdom” to return to me when it was again profitable for His Kingdom. As we approached the hotel, I stopped and looked at William, as I began to have a talk about stewardship (without using that term). I told him that I needed to know that he would respect the room and the gift I was to give him. His reply was basically “what do you have to worry about?” as he pointed skyward and said that we both had God. Right. But I assured him that I was doing my responsible duty to make sure the room was well cared for.
At the check in counter, I had my wallet out and took the opportunity to show him the 10 Rupees that I carry in my wallet (less than a U.S. quarter’s equivalent). I said, “see I don’t carry any cash, except this Indian money.” “Indian money? Where’d you get that.” Now I had the opportunity to share what I did with As Our Own in India. I told him I had gone there on a mission trip. He asked if I preached. I was surprised that my answer was actually, “yes.” I thought it was funny because I didn’t think of that being my main purpose in India—my purpose was to love and disciple the rescued girls and then have a little “preaching” on the side. Nevertheless, the conversation started there. I didn’t get into many details, except to alert him to the problem of sex-trafficking and that children as young as 6 years old are involved. He said he was getting sick at the sound of it. I hoped it was true, but doubted his sincerity. Nevertheless, I used the opportunity to relay to him the transformational power of Christ in the rescued girls’ lives. I also like to tell about it to the homeless as I convey my sincere thankfulness for the United States of America and the fact that I am not a slave myself and neither are my sisters or other loved ones. He seemed to count is few meager blessings…but he was counting, or at least that is what I perceived.
After checking in, I walked him down to his room, an oasis from a hard, filthy existence. He entered and took on a demeanor that he had not previously possessed. His cries of joy were uplifting. I had been skeptical of the whole thing, from the beginning and even as I shared the Gospel with him. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized what this meant to him, and I was joyful, too. For the first time that night, I was actually glad that I was helping this poor man out. He said that he might spend half the night in the bathtub, enjoying an obviously much needed bath.
Again, he was cursing. This time I was more direct. “You’re going to have to stop cursing.” He looked like he just absorbed a light blow. I added, “I’m just here to give you a gentle reminder,” as I gave a sheepish smile.
Once again, in the room (with the door open), I arranged for us to face each other squarely as I explained to him what was happening. I told him that this was a great blessing and God’s gift to him through me. I told him that “to whom much is given much is required.” I asked him to think hard and pray often about how he could use this experience to glorify God. I said, “think about the feeling you have right now.” Immediately, he let out this cry of intense joy as he looked upward…it was like watching my young nieces at Christmas time—just the sheer joy of a pleasantly and abundantly surprised child. I said, “Let that feeling pour out in your life into others. Realize that all men are capable of very terrible things and the Devil desires to seize those things. Realize also that all men are capable of great things, such as this gift to you. As the love of Christ is poured into you, I want you to remember this and seek to pour out into others.” He said, “I never can. I could never do so much for someone else, as you’ve done for me.” “You can pray,” I replied. “Pray for those you see. Pray that God would reveal Himself to them. Pray for me.” I told him to seek to show the same loving-kindness any way he could to those he encounters.
As we departed for the night, he told me that he was going to tell all the other guys what I had done for him. I told him, “I do this in Jesus’ name. Don’t forget that. This is done in Jesus’ name.” He said he wouldn’t forget it.
I went back to the front desk and told the clerk that I’d be back at 6:30am on my way to work to make sure the checkout went alright. I told her I knew I was responsible for any damages, but that I wanted any pornography or rentable movies or anything that could be purchased to be disabled for the room. It turns out that this hotel was cheap enough that they didn’t even have those options.
I started for home and wasn’t even hungry any more. I decided that I wouldn’t eat any dinner after all. Strangely, it felt kind of good to actually give up my personal dinner for another.
My prayers as I left were certainly for responsibility. I prayed for the room to be protected and that I wouldn’t have to pay any more than I’d already paid. But my deepest prayer is this: that this isn’t just an “act of kindness” that lasts for a single night. If that is the extent of it, then I know that my Father in Heaven is well pleased with me…but that just seems so unsatisfying compared to the thought that this might be the first righteous domino in this man’s life. I would trade any favor I gained for a real experience of Christ in this man. That somehow through the Lord’s grace and power, this domino would fall tonight and start a chain reaction in his life of restoration…not just physically, but spiritually. That he would grow into a mature man for Christ and that his testimony would grow out of this experience and win many others to Christ. I don’t know how the Lord does these things, but I know He does them. I am confronted with the reality that I am such a small part—a helper for a night—and whatever comes next is so far out of my control. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase” (1 Cor 3:6). Amen to that. And may it be so abundantly true in the life of William, the homeless man on the corner. William, the loved child of God. William, the proud owner of a clean hotel room for a night. William, a freshly washed U.S. veteran back out on the streets. William, a powerful tool in the Lord’s hands.
You see, I had only witnessed “on the street” once before. I’ve probably only shared Jesus with a handful of people in my entire life. This is proof to me that as believers in Christ you and I are equipped, after all. We have the Holy Spirit. This didn’t come from long series of experiences with witnessing—this was like the mamma eagle kicking the baby eagles out of the nest, as they learn to fly as they fall. I hope that you take heart that you don’t need some amazing preparation. You simply have to obey and let the Holy Spirit speak.
Until we meet again, William, on earth or in Heaven, may God’s love, kindness, mercy, and grace abound in you and may your entire life be committed to Him. Amen.
I came home and wrote it all down. It’s 11:56pm, I haven’t done any of the things I set out to do tonight, and I’m hungry. But that’s alright with me.
Matt 25:34-46 –
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
I was driving home from church and Sunday school one February night.
I exited off of the interstate loop that circles Houston, TX and came to a stop at the light, only a couple more turns from my apartment home. I was hungry. My lunch was small and it was almost 8:30 pm. I knew I didn’t have time to cook, so I planned on stopping at KFC on the way to my apartment for some tasty fried chicken, green beans, and a biscuit.
As I sat at the light, the only car at the intersection, a homeless man with a styrofoam cup looked at me. I looked squarely at him, a new phenomenon in my life, as I typically avert my eyes, pretend to be busy and hope for the light to turn green instantly. There is a double-sided feeling within me in those situations—one of common discernment and good judgment that would say to not help, that they’ll likely only use it for beer, and when you give a little, they immediately try to pump you for more. It’s awkward being rich and giving such a small amount to the poor--think about that--I hope it's as convicting to you as it is to me. Then again, I’ve heard of those who make more than minimum wage begging on the streets and therefore don’t even desire a normal job—this is tax free to boot. The other side is of compassion and what feels like obedience…and guilt every time you do nothing for them. So which shoulder’s argument are you going to listen to today, Will? Do you even know which side is right? Perhaps one is right sometimes and the other is right other times—perhaps you’ve been saved from a murderous cheat and liar a time or two…or perhaps you’ve not fed Jesus Himself by not feeding the least of these a time or two. How can I know as I sit in my truck?
That’s just it. Sometimes we don’t know. In those times, I think a correct response is deciding that since Jesus lives within me through the Holy Spirit, I’m going to engage this man and let Jesus speak to him. I don’t know how, but by Jesus’ presence in my life and my presence in this man’s life, Jesus is present in his life. The rest is Jesus’ work. I am just the obedient vessel.
Women: if it is after dark and you’re alone, don’t open your door or window to someone you don’t know. I believe this is sound advice. I’m not saying to be stupid here…conversely, I’m also not saying to obey “common wisdom.” I’m saying to the let the Holy Spirit speak. I’m not saying to put yourself at risk for the sake of “doing something.” That is foolishness. Movement on risky situations without the Spirit’s guidance can literally be a death sentence. Moving on risky situations with the Spirit’s guidance can be a Life sentence…for you and for those you help.
However, I did not feel that this situation was threatening or risky, except to my comfort level and awkwardness avoidance. Those things were certainly in jeopardy.
So I rolled down my window to just talk with the guy. I knew I had no cash and I didn’t even have any quarters. His slurred speech was almost indiscernible as he told me his standard 10-second plea for help, from which I learned that he was a veteran and had many medical issues from Vietnam. Was he telling the truth? I don’t know. Probably. Either way, he was a filthy homeless man in obvious need. But I had only pennies.
I told him that all I had were a few pennies. He said, “I’m not too proud for pennies. I’ll take ‘em if you’ll give ‘em.” I poured what might have been a dollar’s worth of pennies from my truck’s ash tray, 2 year’s worth of accumulated change that hadn’t been spent on those pesky toll booths. He was joyful and said, “God bless you” as he saluted me. I smiled and said “God bless you, too.” He grinned a half-toothed grin that was genuine.
I continued to drive to KFC. Dinner time. I planned to take it back to my apartment and eat quickly before launching into my ever-expanding task list. A few of the items circulating in my brain included finishing the BSF bible study homework for the next day, cleaning my apartment for visitors this week, preparing a sermon for the church I’ll be speaking at Sunday as well as a presentation for a missions report on a recent trip to India with an amazing organization (As Our Own) to present to the same church, and doing a load of laundry. Of course, only some of this would get accomplished this night before going to bed way too late, getting way too little sleep, and waking up way too early for work the next day.
“Can I help you?” “Yes, I’d like a 3-piece crispy strip meal with green beans and mac’n’cheese.” “Pull around for your total.”
My total was going to be about $6. What happened next was small, but would change my night and perhaps the life of another. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
I suddenly realized that I just gave a homeless man about one dollar or less in pennies, then within 5 minutes was spending $6 on myself; I would then go back to my upper-middle class apartment with air conditioning, TV, and internet to enjoy my expenditure. How could I give a single dollar to a man with great need, and then spend 6 times as much on myself on something that I probably shouldn’t even eat and certainly didn’t need? Yeah, I was hungry, but I’ve had enough calories this week for 1.5 people—I didn’t NEED that food, I WANTED it. And the man who really needed it got only a few pennies from me.
I sat there convicted, arguing intensely with myself on what I should do.
“Give the food to the homeless man.”
“I’m not going to do that. I don’t have time. They don’t even want food half of the time anyway. It probably makes me vulnerable, too. Maybe another time…. This conviction is interesting, though. I can learn from this conviction. Perhaps others can too. Maybe I should write it down for myself and others to learn from my situation. Maybe I or someone else will be convicted, too. Maybe that will encourage them to have compassion and help others.”
“Why don’t you help him now?”
“Oh man. That’s what I need to do…. I don’t want to.”
“You need to. How can you treat yourself so well and forsake others?”
“Hmmmmm. Ok, ok, let’s do it!”
So I drove back down to the intersection and parked in a nearby parking lot. I walked over to the corner where he had been standing. He was gone. Hmmmm. “Well, Lord, I made myself available.” I was half disappointed and half relieved. “I guess I get to have my dinner after all. I did as I was told and still don’t even have to actually give the food away. I guess that’s all you wanted tonight.” Other cars were at the intersection and I felt a little awkward on the street corner with my KFC bag in my nicest jeans and tailored dress shirt (from India, no less). I was out of place and anyone could see that. I wanted to immediately and nonchalantly just make a 180 and walk back so as not to be seen by anyone for too long. But something made me pause on that street corner. I turned back toward the intersection, revealing my face for all the cars to see, as I made a sweep of the surrounding area with my eyes. The gas station—there he was. I headed across the street in that direction.
I met him walking back toward me, and he didn’t even know me as he started his spiel up again. I said, “Here, I bought you dinner,” as I smiled and handed it to him. His response caught me off guard, “What made you do that?” as he looked up with an open mouth and genuinely inquisitive eyes shrouded by dirt on all sides. What a perfect opening. Too perfect—I wasn’t ready for that! I thought I would have to work Jesus into the conversation and that was my “worry.” I laugh at myself now as I recall those thoughts. I paused as I gathered my response and said, “Well, I felt convicted that I need to help you out. See, I believe in Jesus Christ and I know that I am to love others as He loves us, and His ministry was in doing these things to help out people like yourself.”
William responded in affirmation as I noticed the cross necklace around his neck. He began to tell me all of His thoughts about Jesus and the Bible. It was an interesting mixture of thoughts, and I wasn’t sure if it was encouraging or concerning, as He said that He didn’t listen to any part of the Bible except Jesus’ words, sprinkling in the occasional curse word throughout the discourse. He said He didn’t want to hear anything else and didn’t think it was worth reading. He said you could throw it all out, but He liked Jesus’ words. I partially agreed with him as I responded by telling him that “yes, Jesus’ words are the words of life,” then adding, “but the entire Bible is the inspired word of God and when you read it in context with Jesus’ words it all fits in together perfectly.” He wasn’t completely convinced, but he also didn’t want to refute it.
After talking for several minutes, another man came over, asking about cigarettes. I said, “I don’t buy tobacco or alcohol, but I do by food and water.” He then turned and walked away in a resigned state. William said, “get away, we’re talking about God!” I was taken aback, hesitated, then said, “hey, yeah, so you’re welcome to come and talk, too.” He kept walking away.
In the conversation, I had a chance to share with William the difficult times in my life. I shared how I had almost died only 2 years ago. I motioned with my hands up and down my torso and confessed that the Lord had built me back up, but when I was almost to the point of death, it was the first time I realized my NEED of him. He said, “yes, yes, and he was just testing you and he’s given it back to you.” I sort of affirmed, clarifying that it was more than a test—it was growth. I also added that although I had asked for death from him, my life or death on earth wasn’t the principal revelation. It wasn’t about getting my physical body back—it was that for the first time I recognized my NEED of him and for the first time began to give my entire life to him.” (I repeated part of it to make sure he got it).
I also wanted to make sure he felt real conviction and wasn’t simply reciting what he’d heard before. I wanted to get to his heart. I told him that I was driving home from church and that I learned something tonight. I shared with him that we learned in the book of James about the “untamable” tongue, and Jesus’ words in Mathew that “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” I told him that I was convicted that I needed to be a man of clean speech, and not only that—that my heart had to be clean in order to have clean speech. I was going to add that I heard him curse a couple times, but the Holy Spirit obviously spoke before I could, as he said, “well, you haven’t heard me cursing any…have you?” I chuckled and said, “well yes, I’ve heard you curse multiple times in just the short conversation we’ve been having.” It was humorous as he sort of said “no,” then sort of accepted it as reality. I said, “Isn’t it great that we can be forgiven when we sin? Jesus will forgive you, and I don’t hold it against you. I just wanted to point it out to you to convict you.”
Soon afterward, William asked if I could get him a hotel for the night. “Here we go,” I thought, “I don’t want to buy him a hotel room.” Searching for excuses, but wanting to continue to display Christ’s love, I said what I really meant: “Hmmm. Maybe. But here’s the thing: ‘Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish…” He interjected, “and feed him for life!” as he smiled in affirmation and delight, adding that he really liked that one. I told him that I wasn’t going to be around all the time to buy him dinner or provide hotel rooms or anything else. I told him that I don’t pass this intersection much and God was going to take me on to the next thing in the next place, adding that I wanted him to learn what was available to him and to “learn to fish” so that he could begin to provide for himself, using the gifts that God has given him. After that, I prayed with him for a minute or two, mentioning that we were the same—two sinners in need of a Savior. I wanted to make a point of praying with him, no matter what else happened; and frankly, at this point, it would give me the space to determine what I should actually do next.
So, as a gesture of good faith and genuine interest, I walked him down the road to the cheap hotel nearby. At this point, I realized my “folly.” I had just promised him a room for the night, but it didn’t occur to me until the end of the 5 minute walk that I was liable for all damages that might occur. My wise friends and family would say, “Duh, silly. You’re smarter than that and should have known better.” I would agree. I am smarter than that! I know these things. But the Lord saw to it that my “common wisdom” would not interfere with His work here tonight and only allowed that “common wisdom” to return to me when it was again profitable for His Kingdom. As we approached the hotel, I stopped and looked at William, as I began to have a talk about stewardship (without using that term). I told him that I needed to know that he would respect the room and the gift I was to give him. His reply was basically “what do you have to worry about?” as he pointed skyward and said that we both had God. Right. But I assured him that I was doing my responsible duty to make sure the room was well cared for.
At the check in counter, I had my wallet out and took the opportunity to show him the 10 Rupees that I carry in my wallet (less than a U.S. quarter’s equivalent). I said, “see I don’t carry any cash, except this Indian money.” “Indian money? Where’d you get that.” Now I had the opportunity to share what I did with As Our Own in India. I told him I had gone there on a mission trip. He asked if I preached. I was surprised that my answer was actually, “yes.” I thought it was funny because I didn’t think of that being my main purpose in India—my purpose was to love and disciple the rescued girls and then have a little “preaching” on the side. Nevertheless, the conversation started there. I didn’t get into many details, except to alert him to the problem of sex-trafficking and that children as young as 6 years old are involved. He said he was getting sick at the sound of it. I hoped it was true, but doubted his sincerity. Nevertheless, I used the opportunity to relay to him the transformational power of Christ in the rescued girls’ lives. I also like to tell about it to the homeless as I convey my sincere thankfulness for the United States of America and the fact that I am not a slave myself and neither are my sisters or other loved ones. He seemed to count is few meager blessings…but he was counting, or at least that is what I perceived.
After checking in, I walked him down to his room, an oasis from a hard, filthy existence. He entered and took on a demeanor that he had not previously possessed. His cries of joy were uplifting. I had been skeptical of the whole thing, from the beginning and even as I shared the Gospel with him. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized what this meant to him, and I was joyful, too. For the first time that night, I was actually glad that I was helping this poor man out. He said that he might spend half the night in the bathtub, enjoying an obviously much needed bath.
Again, he was cursing. This time I was more direct. “You’re going to have to stop cursing.” He looked like he just absorbed a light blow. I added, “I’m just here to give you a gentle reminder,” as I gave a sheepish smile.
Once again, in the room (with the door open), I arranged for us to face each other squarely as I explained to him what was happening. I told him that this was a great blessing and God’s gift to him through me. I told him that “to whom much is given much is required.” I asked him to think hard and pray often about how he could use this experience to glorify God. I said, “think about the feeling you have right now.” Immediately, he let out this cry of intense joy as he looked upward…it was like watching my young nieces at Christmas time—just the sheer joy of a pleasantly and abundantly surprised child. I said, “Let that feeling pour out in your life into others. Realize that all men are capable of very terrible things and the Devil desires to seize those things. Realize also that all men are capable of great things, such as this gift to you. As the love of Christ is poured into you, I want you to remember this and seek to pour out into others.” He said, “I never can. I could never do so much for someone else, as you’ve done for me.” “You can pray,” I replied. “Pray for those you see. Pray that God would reveal Himself to them. Pray for me.” I told him to seek to show the same loving-kindness any way he could to those he encounters.
As we departed for the night, he told me that he was going to tell all the other guys what I had done for him. I told him, “I do this in Jesus’ name. Don’t forget that. This is done in Jesus’ name.” He said he wouldn’t forget it.
I went back to the front desk and told the clerk that I’d be back at 6:30am on my way to work to make sure the checkout went alright. I told her I knew I was responsible for any damages, but that I wanted any pornography or rentable movies or anything that could be purchased to be disabled for the room. It turns out that this hotel was cheap enough that they didn’t even have those options.
I started for home and wasn’t even hungry any more. I decided that I wouldn’t eat any dinner after all. Strangely, it felt kind of good to actually give up my personal dinner for another.
My prayers as I left were certainly for responsibility. I prayed for the room to be protected and that I wouldn’t have to pay any more than I’d already paid. But my deepest prayer is this: that this isn’t just an “act of kindness” that lasts for a single night. If that is the extent of it, then I know that my Father in Heaven is well pleased with me…but that just seems so unsatisfying compared to the thought that this might be the first righteous domino in this man’s life. I would trade any favor I gained for a real experience of Christ in this man. That somehow through the Lord’s grace and power, this domino would fall tonight and start a chain reaction in his life of restoration…not just physically, but spiritually. That he would grow into a mature man for Christ and that his testimony would grow out of this experience and win many others to Christ. I don’t know how the Lord does these things, but I know He does them. I am confronted with the reality that I am such a small part—a helper for a night—and whatever comes next is so far out of my control. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase” (1 Cor 3:6). Amen to that. And may it be so abundantly true in the life of William, the homeless man on the corner. William, the loved child of God. William, the proud owner of a clean hotel room for a night. William, a freshly washed U.S. veteran back out on the streets. William, a powerful tool in the Lord’s hands.
You see, I had only witnessed “on the street” once before. I’ve probably only shared Jesus with a handful of people in my entire life. This is proof to me that as believers in Christ you and I are equipped, after all. We have the Holy Spirit. This didn’t come from long series of experiences with witnessing—this was like the mamma eagle kicking the baby eagles out of the nest, as they learn to fly as they fall. I hope that you take heart that you don’t need some amazing preparation. You simply have to obey and let the Holy Spirit speak.
Until we meet again, William, on earth or in Heaven, may God’s love, kindness, mercy, and grace abound in you and may your entire life be committed to Him. Amen.
I came home and wrote it all down. It’s 11:56pm, I haven’t done any of the things I set out to do tonight, and I’m hungry. But that’s alright with me.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Spiritual Dejection
Too good not to share:
"My Utmost For His Highest," Feb 7
http://utmost.org/spiritual-dejection/
"My Utmost For His Highest," Feb 7
http://utmost.org/spiritual-dejection/
Spiritual Dejection
"We were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, today is the third day since these things happened" —Luke 24:21
Every fact that the disciples stated was right, but the conclusions they drew from those facts were wrong. Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong. If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else. Dejection stems from one of two sources— I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied. In either case, dejection is the result. Lust means “I must have it at once.” Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Himself who gives the answer. What have I been hoping or trusting God would do? Is today “the third day” and He has still not done what I expected? Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God? Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer. It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected, because dejection is a sign of sickness. This is also true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it.
We look for visions from heaven and for earth-shaking events to see God’s power. Even the fact that we are dejected is proof that we do this. Yet we never realize that all the time God is at work in our everyday events and in the people around us. If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Leaving a Pure Legacy
Have you ever desired to leave a legacy behind? To have an impact that outlasts your time with a group, on a team, in a job, or even in life itself? Many of us seek to “live beyond our years,” by impacting the world around us in a permanent way.
These can be noble goals and are certainly realized by those who serve the Lord their God with all of themselves—it is the natural outcome…it cannot be stopped. The issue that I find within myself and that you may find within yourself, as well, is that of desiring my legacy. We have erred immediately upon that thought.
Leaving a pure legacy means to leave an impact so centered on God that we are seen as insignificant—that we are seen only long enough for others to then see Christ, and we vanish behind His infinite light and glory. It means impacting the world around us for Christ, such that those who are impacted continue to see Him for eternity, and we are as a speck of dust or “drop in a bucket.” Indeed, that bucket was filled by a great many individual drops and each were chosen by God to play that small part—but me and my little drop have nothing to boast about ourselves. We instead can boast about the One who orchestrated the thousands of little drops like ourselves to fill this metaphorical bucket.
This “bucket” could be leading someone to Christ. Did we do that? Not hardly—we may have been the last drop that filled the bucket, but there were many drops before us paving the way, setting the foundation, filling the bucket. And we as “drops” in this bucket of another Spirit-filled soul merely fell where we were directed. God alone is to be praised for the work of grace for the newfound in Christ!
This “bucket” could be a ministry or volunteer position or opportunity. Again, did we do that? Is it our work that is so amazing? Not at all—it is the Lord’s amazing work that will continue with or without us—we are simply to be overwhelmingly thankful that we have been included! What a truth is this: God will not be deterred—not even by you and I, the stubborn part-time followers, insisting on our own way. Are we so important that if we disobey, the entire world will begin to crumble and all of God’s large and small purposes will not be fulfilled? God is sovereign—He rules all and is not dictated to by His creation. In disobedience, God will go right around you and I, and we will forfeit the glorious opportunity of obedience to His calling this very day. He doesn’t miss out—we do.
I know that you and I will continue to wrestle with the same pride and selfishness that rears its ugly head every time we are given the opportunity to do something for God. We may rightly love the service; but we must stop short of admiring our small little part. Doing so is like being invited to cut the ceremonial ribbon as a mansion’s completion is revealed. We are invited to join the master of the mansion inside, and by cutting the ribbon as he has asked, we have been made a part of all who are brought off the street to enter his mansion. At this point, if we sit and marvel at how well we cut that ribbon, with what skill and smoothness we operated the scissors, we will miss the entire point. This illustration may sound ridiculous—it should. This is how ridiculous we act when we take pride in leaving a legacy of our own, even if it is in doing the Lord’s work. It’s like the ribbon cutter wanting everyone to remember him cutting the ribbon instead of taking part in the celebration of the mansion and those who have been invited, accepting the invitation to live within it. If we don’t cut the ribbon, the master will certainly find another to do it—there would be many eager to take that place, many that would be thankful, and a few that would do it in humility as he desired. It’s not as if our declining to cut the ribbon will stop the mansion from being opened. And it’s not as if we built the mansion or made it possible for those called to enter. We simply did our small little part and can thank the master for allowing us to be even a small part of his purpose for this mansion.
As you may easily see, this mansion is Heaven, the master is God, Jesus is the one who has given the invitations and made a way for us to be there, and we are graciously appointed as ribbon cutters or servants in other parts of this glorious scene. Let’s set our eyes upon the Master, the Mansion, and the Way. Let’s glorify the purpose behind our purpose. Let’s “cut the ribbon” obediently and thankfully, seeking that no one would recognize our cutting—that no one would remember a meager human legacy of our own, but that they would instead immediately look to the Mansion of Heaven and Jesus who welcomes them. If we are successful in leaving a legacy that others see as our own and then exalt us because of it, we are doing them a disservice, for we have distracted them from all that is good…we have traded a glimpse of a perfect, loving God, for that of a self-seeking human.
We cannot go incognito our entire lives and live out the Gospel that we are called to live. Some people will notice us, and we have to realize that. What we do with that focus, and before even that—how we pursue God in service in our hearts, seeking our own legacy or instead seeking to leave His pure legacy—these are the things for which we are accountable.
Many of you may say, “I’m not like that, at least not often. I just don’t think of such things.” Very well, I pray that it is because God has worked within you to refine you daily into such a selfless servant. I speak to the many that say, “That’s me—I am convicted that I am always seeking my own. I desire to be changed.” I desire to be changed, too. Let us look to leave the only Pure Legacy—that of Jesus Christ, our Savior who has rescued the most corrupted hearts, like yours and mine. Let’s finally step up to the plate of humility and actually desire within our hearts in our quite moments of absolute honesty to say sincerely “He must become greater. I must become less” (John 3:30). We can struggle and strive, and still we cannot do even that—ask to become less—on our own. The amazing thing about Jesus and our need of Him is that it is so utterly sweeping that not only can I by no means obtain salvation, only accepting it as freely given from Him, but in addition, once saved, I must continually rely on Him to do any good thing in me. I have to decide to want to be changed, and I have to follow through, but I cannot follow through as a matter of pure self-will. I can ask God to change me, and I can will to ask Him, but I must have Him come in, set up shop, and begin to do the changing. And even the desire to be changed is found in the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
How utterly helpless and condemned we are on our own—for we cannot even repent from our sins without His conviction. We need Him to even know that we need Him. He has made it such that all can see and know that He is God, then we need Him to respond to our conviction and cry for help, then we need Him to refine us into the servants He and we desire to be. Jesus said in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” Apart from Him I can do only evil. Apart from Him I will not even know I am evil and will spiral straight to Hell. But with Him, I am convicted. With Him I am saved. With Him I am transformed. With Him, I have no legacy of my own. With Him I am made a part of His pure legacy. With Him, the same is true for you. Forever. Amen.
These can be noble goals and are certainly realized by those who serve the Lord their God with all of themselves—it is the natural outcome…it cannot be stopped. The issue that I find within myself and that you may find within yourself, as well, is that of desiring my legacy. We have erred immediately upon that thought.
“My Utmost For His Highest,” Feb 5:
ARE YOU READY TO BE OFFERED?
"Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy and rejoice with you all." Philippians 2:17
Are you willing to be offered for the work of the faithful - to pour out your life blood as a libation on the sacrifice of the faith of others? Or do you say - "I am not going to be offered up just yet, I do not want God to choose my work. I want to choose the scenery of my own sacrifice; I want to have the right kind of people watching and saying, 'Well done.'
It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism, but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet. Suppose God wants to teach you to say, "I know how to be abased" - are you ready to be offered up like that? Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in a bucket - to be so hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served? Are you willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work and remain saints because it is beneath their dignity.
Leaving a pure legacy means to leave an impact so centered on God that we are seen as insignificant—that we are seen only long enough for others to then see Christ, and we vanish behind His infinite light and glory. It means impacting the world around us for Christ, such that those who are impacted continue to see Him for eternity, and we are as a speck of dust or “drop in a bucket.” Indeed, that bucket was filled by a great many individual drops and each were chosen by God to play that small part—but me and my little drop have nothing to boast about ourselves. We instead can boast about the One who orchestrated the thousands of little drops like ourselves to fill this metaphorical bucket.
This “bucket” could be leading someone to Christ. Did we do that? Not hardly—we may have been the last drop that filled the bucket, but there were many drops before us paving the way, setting the foundation, filling the bucket. And we as “drops” in this bucket of another Spirit-filled soul merely fell where we were directed. God alone is to be praised for the work of grace for the newfound in Christ!
This “bucket” could be a ministry or volunteer position or opportunity. Again, did we do that? Is it our work that is so amazing? Not at all—it is the Lord’s amazing work that will continue with or without us—we are simply to be overwhelmingly thankful that we have been included! What a truth is this: God will not be deterred—not even by you and I, the stubborn part-time followers, insisting on our own way. Are we so important that if we disobey, the entire world will begin to crumble and all of God’s large and small purposes will not be fulfilled? God is sovereign—He rules all and is not dictated to by His creation. In disobedience, God will go right around you and I, and we will forfeit the glorious opportunity of obedience to His calling this very day. He doesn’t miss out—we do.
I know that you and I will continue to wrestle with the same pride and selfishness that rears its ugly head every time we are given the opportunity to do something for God. We may rightly love the service; but we must stop short of admiring our small little part. Doing so is like being invited to cut the ceremonial ribbon as a mansion’s completion is revealed. We are invited to join the master of the mansion inside, and by cutting the ribbon as he has asked, we have been made a part of all who are brought off the street to enter his mansion. At this point, if we sit and marvel at how well we cut that ribbon, with what skill and smoothness we operated the scissors, we will miss the entire point. This illustration may sound ridiculous—it should. This is how ridiculous we act when we take pride in leaving a legacy of our own, even if it is in doing the Lord’s work. It’s like the ribbon cutter wanting everyone to remember him cutting the ribbon instead of taking part in the celebration of the mansion and those who have been invited, accepting the invitation to live within it. If we don’t cut the ribbon, the master will certainly find another to do it—there would be many eager to take that place, many that would be thankful, and a few that would do it in humility as he desired. It’s not as if our declining to cut the ribbon will stop the mansion from being opened. And it’s not as if we built the mansion or made it possible for those called to enter. We simply did our small little part and can thank the master for allowing us to be even a small part of his purpose for this mansion.
As you may easily see, this mansion is Heaven, the master is God, Jesus is the one who has given the invitations and made a way for us to be there, and we are graciously appointed as ribbon cutters or servants in other parts of this glorious scene. Let’s set our eyes upon the Master, the Mansion, and the Way. Let’s glorify the purpose behind our purpose. Let’s “cut the ribbon” obediently and thankfully, seeking that no one would recognize our cutting—that no one would remember a meager human legacy of our own, but that they would instead immediately look to the Mansion of Heaven and Jesus who welcomes them. If we are successful in leaving a legacy that others see as our own and then exalt us because of it, we are doing them a disservice, for we have distracted them from all that is good…we have traded a glimpse of a perfect, loving God, for that of a self-seeking human.
We cannot go incognito our entire lives and live out the Gospel that we are called to live. Some people will notice us, and we have to realize that. What we do with that focus, and before even that—how we pursue God in service in our hearts, seeking our own legacy or instead seeking to leave His pure legacy—these are the things for which we are accountable.
Many of you may say, “I’m not like that, at least not often. I just don’t think of such things.” Very well, I pray that it is because God has worked within you to refine you daily into such a selfless servant. I speak to the many that say, “That’s me—I am convicted that I am always seeking my own. I desire to be changed.” I desire to be changed, too. Let us look to leave the only Pure Legacy—that of Jesus Christ, our Savior who has rescued the most corrupted hearts, like yours and mine. Let’s finally step up to the plate of humility and actually desire within our hearts in our quite moments of absolute honesty to say sincerely “He must become greater. I must become less” (John 3:30). We can struggle and strive, and still we cannot do even that—ask to become less—on our own. The amazing thing about Jesus and our need of Him is that it is so utterly sweeping that not only can I by no means obtain salvation, only accepting it as freely given from Him, but in addition, once saved, I must continually rely on Him to do any good thing in me. I have to decide to want to be changed, and I have to follow through, but I cannot follow through as a matter of pure self-will. I can ask God to change me, and I can will to ask Him, but I must have Him come in, set up shop, and begin to do the changing. And even the desire to be changed is found in the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: 9 of sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; 11 of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. – John 16:8-11
How utterly helpless and condemned we are on our own—for we cannot even repent from our sins without His conviction. We need Him to even know that we need Him. He has made it such that all can see and know that He is God, then we need Him to respond to our conviction and cry for help, then we need Him to refine us into the servants He and we desire to be. Jesus said in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” Apart from Him I can do only evil. Apart from Him I will not even know I am evil and will spiral straight to Hell. But with Him, I am convicted. With Him I am saved. With Him I am transformed. With Him, I have no legacy of my own. With Him I am made a part of His pure legacy. With Him, the same is true for you. Forever. Amen.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Spiritual Exhaustion and Starvation – My Personal Testimony
Have you ever had this thought: “If only I didn’t have to take the time to eat and sleep, I’d have plenty of time to do all of these other things I need to do.” I had that thought today, and looking back, I chuckle at it a bit.
Sometimes I get so busy with work and life that I start to lose sleeping hours and scarcely have time to prepare a proper meal for myself. So I end up sleep deprived and eating way too much fast food or other prepared foods—I just don’t have time to do it all. Example: today I was called into work at 5:30am (on a Sunday). The Lord answered my prayer that I would be able to leave work in time to get to church. After church, I had plans to eat, go for a run (I’m training for a 10k), come back to clean my apartment because I found out this morning that I’ll be hosting our men’s group gathering on Tuesday, then off to a friend’s Superbowl party that will finish off the night. You may say, “wow, that’s a lot!” However, this can often be a typical day, and I know that your life may get so busy from time to time. My conviction came when I was leaving Chipotle with my to-go order (side note: I love Chipotle and it’s worth going when I’m not short on time!). I got my food so lightning quick that I was in a very pleasant frame of mind as I thought the following thoughts: “Wow, that was so quick and I needed it to be quick today. If only I didn’t have to take the time to eat at all, or to sleep. If somehow my body could be nourished and given energy by some other means, I’d have so much more time!”
Now, of course those are just thoughts and don’t make any practical sense. My thoughts weren’t based upon sincerely considering them to be possible—they were simply the natural progression of my mind in time-management mode.
Here is the revelation: do we ever treat our spiritual lives the same way? My thoughts regarding going without food and sleep for any length of time are absurd. Sure, for a short time you can do one or both, but eventually we will need both and need them consistently in order to just stay alive, let alone live a healthy life.
We do the same thing when we consider that we are so busy that we don’t have time to read the Word or pray. Realize that the Word of God is our spiritual bread and water. Jesus speaks many times of himself being the living water and bread of life: “And Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.’ (John 6:35)” To eat and drink of Christ is to believe in Him as the perfect Son of God, coming in the flesh, who bore our sin, setting us free and unto eternal life, and to partake of His Spirit. It is to make Him such a part of our bodies that we are an extension of His very self in this world. We do this by confessing we are a sinner, accepting Him as our Savior and receiving the Holy Spirit to indwell us, having “fellowship in His sufferings” (Phil 3:12-12, Rom 8:17), living obediently as ambassadors for Christ, and going to the Bible often. John writes that “the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, (John 1:14)” referring to Jesus. So we see that if Jesus is our spiritual food and is the Word of God, that God’s Word in the Bible is a source of nourishment for our souls.
Additionally, we are to rest in our Lord and Savior. Jesus said in Matt 11:28, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” How is he to give us rest? When I think of rest, I think of comfort and of relaxation…a place undisturbed, a quiet place…a time where I don’t have to be working hard on anything, and a place of familiarity such as my home. So perhaps going to God in prayer and experiencing rest in Jesus means that He is my comfort and a place of peace and quiet. Perhaps I should get to know Him such that prayer is a place of familiarity and being with Him is like being home. Perhaps resting in Him is where I realize that I do not have to do the hard work—that my salvation is His great gift and He loves me, and I can simply be in His presence, just Him and me.
But what if we lived our physical lives the way that all too many of us live our spiritual lives? How often have you read His Word this week, this month? How often have you prayed and rested in Him? What if I went an entire month on 4 meals and slept only 2 nights? I would likely die or collapse and have to be hospitalized. What if I carried on this way for years? Our bodies would obviously fail us under those conditions. Don’t you think that spiritual lives will be taken to the point of death in the same manner if we are so starved of the Word and of prayer and resting in Him? I think we too often experience these spiritual hunger pains and exhaustion and fail to take action.
Look around—I see frail Christian bodies in the masses of Christians around the world. Spiritual bodies that are gaunt, with skin stretched over ribs, knobby joints, legs that can barely stand, arms that cannot carry their own weight. We are a malnourished culture of Christians in the United States. Take heart, for there are many who stand strong with the full armor of God and spiritual bodies that are growing with the might of Samson. Additionally, many of us are as adolescents with growing bodies and new spiritual muscles all the time. But how long have you merely sat in church, living on that single spiritual “meal” per week? I’ll tell you that I have gone years with that meager nourishment from the Word and perhaps even less rest in His presence. It left me feeble—interestingly, both spiritually and physically, as I was stricken with a disease that nearly took my life. In that time I had lost 40 pounds from a frame that was at my ideal weight. My condition took my entire appetite away and anything that I did actually eat did not strengthen my body as it would a healthy body. This entire experience happened to coincide with the greatest emotional trial I had ever experienced as I worked through the ending of a long-term relationship, making my despair feel complete both physically and emotionally. One day, I got to the point where I was lying on the couch and a pack of crackers was on the table in front of me. I hadn’t eaten in almost two days. I had just slept 14 hours and still barely made it across my apartment from my bed to my couch. I had the slightest desire to eat just 1 or 2 crackers, but I decided that it wasn’t worth the energy to lean forward 12 inches to get them—my body was utterly exhausted, depleted, and failing. Thank the Lord that my mother and I spoke on the phone moments later, and her plea for me to go to the emergency room, combined with what must have been the Lord’s hand on me, gave me the energy to get up and drive down the street to the hospital.
Up to that moment and for months afterward, I experienced the worst pain in my life daily, even hourly. There were things happening in my body that might horrify you—things that unless you are a doctor or someone with medical knowledge, you wouldn’t even think were possible. I remember the night that I prayed the most sincere prayer I have probably ever prayed: “Lord, would you please kill me and let me die?” I knew what would await me upon death: Heaven. I wanted to no longer struggle with this physical body—I so desired to shed it and go to the peace of Heaven. I prayed with sincerity on my bed before falling asleep and truly believed that I would not wake up in the morning, very hopefully expecting to open my eyes in Heaven. But God did not let me die then. I knew in the days that followed that God as my Father desires His children to join Him at home, yet He knows that it is best for both us and His kingdom that we remain here for a time. Similar to a mother or father who’s child has gone overseas to serve the Lord as a missionary—if the parents love their child second to God, they will desire that the child come back home to them, but they would see that it was the Lord’s will for the child to remain at a distance for the time being. And if that child beckoned them to allow a homecoming, the parents would surely agree immediately! So I realized that God heard my cry and desired me to come Home; yet He left me here, and He would only do so if it was best for both Him and me. Additionally, since I could not come “Home,” but He had the means to come to where I am, He would surely do so. So I rested knowing that in my cry for God to let me die, He left me here for a purpose—one that He had in mind for me specifically—and that He would be with me here. Friends, I am not different than any of you—I speak not of some special purpose for me that is unavailable to you and only available to a few. I speak of the fact that we each have a specific purpose for God in this very life and in our everlasting lives in His Kingdom to come.
From the point of going to the emergency room forward, there was a long recovery for my body. I do not know how I made it through, except for the Lord’s presence in my life. Through the experience, I learned what it was to NEED our God. Through the physical and emotional trial, I learned my NEED of a Savior for my sinful soul and of His deep love for me. When no one could comfort me, my God did. When no rest from the pain could be found, rest was found in time with Him. When I could muster no strength of my own, I was sustained by His Word. This was a powerful experience that I will never forget, and I learned the importance of being nourished by God’s Word and the power of resting in Him through prayer. Since that time, my body has been completely restored, perhaps even healthier than before the trial—Praise God alone for this!
I want to encourage you today: feed yourself! Get rest! I should take my own advice and apply it physically. But even more importantly than that, I pray that we would do it for our souls. We are hungry, my friends, and require daily nourishment. We are in need of rest, and require daily re-energizing. Let’s take the initiative to find both nourishment and rest where we know it resides: in God’s Word and in His presence through prayer. Let’s not live starved lives any longer—let’s build our frail frames into strength in Christ. Let’s not live in a state of utter exhaustion any longer—let’s give rest to our weary and heavy laden souls through our comforter, Christ. Let’s make Him our home. In our homes we recharge with food and rest; let’s make Him our home and live in Him daily, inviting Him to live within us perpetually. Times will still get tough and our energy will still wane, but in those times we need even more spiritual “calories” and rest! In my time of physical need, I was spurred onward by another by the Lord’s hand and found help that led to a new healthy body—I pray that today you are spurred onward to seek help where we both know it resides. I knew to go to the emergency room, and I learned to go to the Word and prayer. Whatever your physical needs, I know we are equally needy of the spiritual nourishment and rest that comes only through real relationship with Jesus Christ. Let’s never forget what He has done for us, what we’ve been saved from, and where our livelihood truly resides—in Christ alone. Amen.
In encourage you to meditate upon the lyrics of “In Christ Alone,” in light of the thoughts above:
In Christ Alone
by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
IN CHRIST ALONE my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone! – who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!
Sometimes I get so busy with work and life that I start to lose sleeping hours and scarcely have time to prepare a proper meal for myself. So I end up sleep deprived and eating way too much fast food or other prepared foods—I just don’t have time to do it all. Example: today I was called into work at 5:30am (on a Sunday). The Lord answered my prayer that I would be able to leave work in time to get to church. After church, I had plans to eat, go for a run (I’m training for a 10k), come back to clean my apartment because I found out this morning that I’ll be hosting our men’s group gathering on Tuesday, then off to a friend’s Superbowl party that will finish off the night. You may say, “wow, that’s a lot!” However, this can often be a typical day, and I know that your life may get so busy from time to time. My conviction came when I was leaving Chipotle with my to-go order (side note: I love Chipotle and it’s worth going when I’m not short on time!). I got my food so lightning quick that I was in a very pleasant frame of mind as I thought the following thoughts: “Wow, that was so quick and I needed it to be quick today. If only I didn’t have to take the time to eat at all, or to sleep. If somehow my body could be nourished and given energy by some other means, I’d have so much more time!”
Now, of course those are just thoughts and don’t make any practical sense. My thoughts weren’t based upon sincerely considering them to be possible—they were simply the natural progression of my mind in time-management mode.
Here is the revelation: do we ever treat our spiritual lives the same way? My thoughts regarding going without food and sleep for any length of time are absurd. Sure, for a short time you can do one or both, but eventually we will need both and need them consistently in order to just stay alive, let alone live a healthy life.
We do the same thing when we consider that we are so busy that we don’t have time to read the Word or pray. Realize that the Word of God is our spiritual bread and water. Jesus speaks many times of himself being the living water and bread of life: “And Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.’ (John 6:35)” To eat and drink of Christ is to believe in Him as the perfect Son of God, coming in the flesh, who bore our sin, setting us free and unto eternal life, and to partake of His Spirit. It is to make Him such a part of our bodies that we are an extension of His very self in this world. We do this by confessing we are a sinner, accepting Him as our Savior and receiving the Holy Spirit to indwell us, having “fellowship in His sufferings” (Phil 3:12-12, Rom 8:17), living obediently as ambassadors for Christ, and going to the Bible often. John writes that “the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, (John 1:14)” referring to Jesus. So we see that if Jesus is our spiritual food and is the Word of God, that God’s Word in the Bible is a source of nourishment for our souls.
Additionally, we are to rest in our Lord and Savior. Jesus said in Matt 11:28, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” How is he to give us rest? When I think of rest, I think of comfort and of relaxation…a place undisturbed, a quiet place…a time where I don’t have to be working hard on anything, and a place of familiarity such as my home. So perhaps going to God in prayer and experiencing rest in Jesus means that He is my comfort and a place of peace and quiet. Perhaps I should get to know Him such that prayer is a place of familiarity and being with Him is like being home. Perhaps resting in Him is where I realize that I do not have to do the hard work—that my salvation is His great gift and He loves me, and I can simply be in His presence, just Him and me.
But what if we lived our physical lives the way that all too many of us live our spiritual lives? How often have you read His Word this week, this month? How often have you prayed and rested in Him? What if I went an entire month on 4 meals and slept only 2 nights? I would likely die or collapse and have to be hospitalized. What if I carried on this way for years? Our bodies would obviously fail us under those conditions. Don’t you think that spiritual lives will be taken to the point of death in the same manner if we are so starved of the Word and of prayer and resting in Him? I think we too often experience these spiritual hunger pains and exhaustion and fail to take action.
Look around—I see frail Christian bodies in the masses of Christians around the world. Spiritual bodies that are gaunt, with skin stretched over ribs, knobby joints, legs that can barely stand, arms that cannot carry their own weight. We are a malnourished culture of Christians in the United States. Take heart, for there are many who stand strong with the full armor of God and spiritual bodies that are growing with the might of Samson. Additionally, many of us are as adolescents with growing bodies and new spiritual muscles all the time. But how long have you merely sat in church, living on that single spiritual “meal” per week? I’ll tell you that I have gone years with that meager nourishment from the Word and perhaps even less rest in His presence. It left me feeble—interestingly, both spiritually and physically, as I was stricken with a disease that nearly took my life. In that time I had lost 40 pounds from a frame that was at my ideal weight. My condition took my entire appetite away and anything that I did actually eat did not strengthen my body as it would a healthy body. This entire experience happened to coincide with the greatest emotional trial I had ever experienced as I worked through the ending of a long-term relationship, making my despair feel complete both physically and emotionally. One day, I got to the point where I was lying on the couch and a pack of crackers was on the table in front of me. I hadn’t eaten in almost two days. I had just slept 14 hours and still barely made it across my apartment from my bed to my couch. I had the slightest desire to eat just 1 or 2 crackers, but I decided that it wasn’t worth the energy to lean forward 12 inches to get them—my body was utterly exhausted, depleted, and failing. Thank the Lord that my mother and I spoke on the phone moments later, and her plea for me to go to the emergency room, combined with what must have been the Lord’s hand on me, gave me the energy to get up and drive down the street to the hospital.
Up to that moment and for months afterward, I experienced the worst pain in my life daily, even hourly. There were things happening in my body that might horrify you—things that unless you are a doctor or someone with medical knowledge, you wouldn’t even think were possible. I remember the night that I prayed the most sincere prayer I have probably ever prayed: “Lord, would you please kill me and let me die?” I knew what would await me upon death: Heaven. I wanted to no longer struggle with this physical body—I so desired to shed it and go to the peace of Heaven. I prayed with sincerity on my bed before falling asleep and truly believed that I would not wake up in the morning, very hopefully expecting to open my eyes in Heaven. But God did not let me die then. I knew in the days that followed that God as my Father desires His children to join Him at home, yet He knows that it is best for both us and His kingdom that we remain here for a time. Similar to a mother or father who’s child has gone overseas to serve the Lord as a missionary—if the parents love their child second to God, they will desire that the child come back home to them, but they would see that it was the Lord’s will for the child to remain at a distance for the time being. And if that child beckoned them to allow a homecoming, the parents would surely agree immediately! So I realized that God heard my cry and desired me to come Home; yet He left me here, and He would only do so if it was best for both Him and me. Additionally, since I could not come “Home,” but He had the means to come to where I am, He would surely do so. So I rested knowing that in my cry for God to let me die, He left me here for a purpose—one that He had in mind for me specifically—and that He would be with me here. Friends, I am not different than any of you—I speak not of some special purpose for me that is unavailable to you and only available to a few. I speak of the fact that we each have a specific purpose for God in this very life and in our everlasting lives in His Kingdom to come.
From the point of going to the emergency room forward, there was a long recovery for my body. I do not know how I made it through, except for the Lord’s presence in my life. Through the experience, I learned what it was to NEED our God. Through the physical and emotional trial, I learned my NEED of a Savior for my sinful soul and of His deep love for me. When no one could comfort me, my God did. When no rest from the pain could be found, rest was found in time with Him. When I could muster no strength of my own, I was sustained by His Word. This was a powerful experience that I will never forget, and I learned the importance of being nourished by God’s Word and the power of resting in Him through prayer. Since that time, my body has been completely restored, perhaps even healthier than before the trial—Praise God alone for this!
I want to encourage you today: feed yourself! Get rest! I should take my own advice and apply it physically. But even more importantly than that, I pray that we would do it for our souls. We are hungry, my friends, and require daily nourishment. We are in need of rest, and require daily re-energizing. Let’s take the initiative to find both nourishment and rest where we know it resides: in God’s Word and in His presence through prayer. Let’s not live starved lives any longer—let’s build our frail frames into strength in Christ. Let’s not live in a state of utter exhaustion any longer—let’s give rest to our weary and heavy laden souls through our comforter, Christ. Let’s make Him our home. In our homes we recharge with food and rest; let’s make Him our home and live in Him daily, inviting Him to live within us perpetually. Times will still get tough and our energy will still wane, but in those times we need even more spiritual “calories” and rest! In my time of physical need, I was spurred onward by another by the Lord’s hand and found help that led to a new healthy body—I pray that today you are spurred onward to seek help where we both know it resides. I knew to go to the emergency room, and I learned to go to the Word and prayer. Whatever your physical needs, I know we are equally needy of the spiritual nourishment and rest that comes only through real relationship with Jesus Christ. Let’s never forget what He has done for us, what we’ve been saved from, and where our livelihood truly resides—in Christ alone. Amen.
In encourage you to meditate upon the lyrics of “In Christ Alone,” in light of the thoughts above:
In Christ Alone
by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
IN CHRIST ALONE my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone! – who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!
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